


wonderfully ordinary

by forever_evenfall



Category: The Walking Dead (Telltale Video Game)
Genre: BAMF Clementine (Walking Dead), Canon Compliant, Canon Disabled Character, Canon-Typical Violence, Clementine Has a Prosthetic Leg (Walking Dead), Clementine/Louis Fluff (Walking Dead: Done Running), Clouis-centric, Coma, Cute Kids, Dancing and Singing, Declarations Of Love, Dork Louis (Walking Dead: Done Running), Dorks in Love, Ericson's Boarding School (Walking Dead), Everyone Needs A Hug, Falling In Love, Feedback Welcome, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, How Do I Tag, Hurt Clementine (Walking Dead), I Don't Even Know, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Love, Minor Clementine/Violet (Walking Dead: Done Running), Multi, Omar needs more character development, One-Legged Clementine (Walking Dead), Parties, Piano, Post-Canon, Romantic Gestures, Singing, Song: Piano Man (Billy Joel), They did my boy dirty, Walkers (Walking Dead), Zombie Apocalypse, also louis and violet friendship, louis and aasim friendship because i'm soft for those boys, more like hootenannies lol, one sided violetine
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:26:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 19
Words: 57,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25748125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forever_evenfall/pseuds/forever_evenfall
Summary: As crazy as things get, as terrible and tragic and just plain stupid...there’s nothing more wonderfully ordinary as two kids falling for each other. - Kate GarciaThe Delta is gone. It's time to rebuild.
Relationships: Aasim/Ruby (Walking Dead: Done Running), Clementine/Louis (Walking Dead: Done Running), Violet (Walking Dead: Done Running)/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 66
Kudos: 139





	1. please don't take my sunshine away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis returns to Ericsons without Clementine. AJ brings her home.

“Louis is back!”

Willy’s voice cut through the clear silence of the forest. Louis could see the younger boy’s head popping up over the railing of the watchtower, a hopeful look on his little freckled face. That hope was dashed when he saw that Louis was alone.

“Louis?” Aasim’s worried face peered over the railing. His face dropped. _“Fuck.”_

Willy clambered down from the watchtower, running over to Louis and flinging his arms around him in an uncharacteristic hug, which the older boy weakly reciprocated. Aasim followed soon after, cursing rapidly under his breath.

“Shit, shit, Louis, where are the others? Are they…?”

_Dead. Are they dead?_

Louis faltered. He opened his mouth. Nothing came out. Something was caught in his throat – a noise that was something between a scream and a gasp. He wrapped his arms around himself, digging his fingers into the thick fabric of his jacket.

“Fuck.” Aasim pushed a hand into his own hair, grabbing it in his frustration. Grief was etched into every corner of his face. “Clem and AJ? Tenn? _All_ of them?” His voice cracked. “Fuck, Louis, you have to tell us. Why aren’t they _with_ you?”

Louis’s shoulders slumped lifelessly. “Tenn. Tenn is…he’s _gone._ Minnie came back for him and…the walkers got him.”

Aasim’s eyes widened before he nodded, closing them. His throat convulsed as he swallowed. He didn’t speak. Louis knew the feeling. He wanted to scream, to swear at the sky and curse whatever God had decided to punish them this way. He knew he should cry. But instead he just felt empty. Too many losses over such a short period of time…

Willy’s chin trembled. “And…Clem and AJ?”

“I don’t know,” Louis said numbly. His mind was fuzzy. He couldn’t think straight. His teeth dug into his quivering lip, the taste of iron and rust filling his mouth. Somewhere, a voice in the back of his head registered that his lip was bleeding. “I…I don’t know. They were alive when…when I last saw them. But Clem is hurt, and…I don’t know if they’ll make it back.”

Aasim hesitated before reaching out and hugging him.

Louis exhaled shakingly. “Now I _know_ you must be worried.” He said, but the humour was lost in his voice. “You’d never hug me if you weren’t…”

“Shut up,” Aasim mumbled. “Louis, this isn’t the time for jokes.”

Louis let out a humourless laugh and collapsed to his knees. “Fuck. _Fuck.”_

“Hey…” Aasim crouched beside him. “Lou, you…you’re okay.”

“But Clem might not be.” Louis squeezed his eyes shut, tears leaking out and streaming down his face. “Aasim, I…I think I’m falling in love with her.”

Aasim sighed. “I know.”

“You do?” Louis peered up at him. “Because I didn’t. I knew I liked her a lot, and I knew she liked me back, but…”

“It’s the way you look at her. Like…like she’s the most incredible thing you’ve ever seen.”

“She is,” Louis croaked, “She’s like sunshine. And I don’t know what I’ll do without her. Aasim, what if she doesn’t come back? How can I live without her?”

“They’re survivors.” Aasim insisted, squashing the uncertainty rising in his chest. “They…they survived so much shit before us. We have to hope…”

“You’re right,” Louis swallowed, the lie slipping out easily. A dark feeling settled in his gut and his heart clenched. “I…I believe in her. I have to.”

Aasim exhaled, grasping Louis’s shoulder and helping the taller boy to his feet. “Let’s go and tell the others, okay? Ruby has been fretting about you. She didn’t think we should have let you go by yourself.”

Ruby’s face was relieved when she looked up from checking Violet’s eyes, but it quickly morphed into a look of horror when she saw that the boys were alone.

“Shit!” She clapped a hand to her mouth, tears brimming in her eyes. “Don’t tell me it’s just you. _Please.”_

“Clem?” Violet asked uncertainly, squinting her eyes to try and see in Louis’s general direction. “Are…are you there?”

Louis dropped to his knees beside her, reaching out and taking her small hand in his. “Clem’s not here.” He whispered, fearing that if he spoke any louder, the floodgates would open. “She…hopefully she’ll be back soon.”

“Why aren’t they with you?” Violet’s brow creased in concern. “Did you find them?”

“I did, but…we got separated again. Minnie…” Louis began, but he bit his tongue to stop himself.

Violet’s breath hitched. “Minnie?” Her voice shook. “Minnie’s dead. She got bit on the boat.”

“She didn’t die immediately. She…came back. For Tenn.”

“Where is he?” Violet’s voice became shrill. “Where did Tenn go?”

“Vi, he…” Louis swallowed. “He didn’t make it. Minnie manipulated him into…dying with her.”

 _And AJ finished the job,_ Louis wanted to say, but of course he didn’t. He couldn’t hold that against the little boy, not anymore. Not while he was missing. _God, please, little dude, just come back._

Ruby gasped, clutching her mouth with wide eyes. “Oh, god, no. Not Tenn.”

Violet’s mouth hung slack. “No. No, you’re fucking lying.”

“Vi, I…”

“Stop it! Tenn’s…he’s going to come back!” She bent forward, clutching her stomach, and screamed. _“No!”_

“Violet,” Louis squeezed her hand. “It’s…it’s o–”

“It’s not okay, Louis!” She tore her hand from his grip. “Tennessee is _dead._ He’s not…he’s not coming back. How is that okay?”

“Look, it’s not okay that he’s gone. Of course it’s not! Just…it’s okay for you to not be okay.”

“Fuck you, Louis.” Violet spat, covering her good eye. A shudder rippled through her body. “Where is Clem? Are they…they’re just lost?”

Louis nodded sadly, before sighing as he realised Violet couldn’t see him. “I was with them, but…we came across a fence we needed to cross. Clem hurt her leg – I went over first to help her get over, but walkers started to show up. She made me go. She wouldn’t let me stay with them.”

“You shouldn’t have fucking listened to her! If they die too, it’s your fault! God fucking damn it, Louis, if you hadn’t been so goddamn _useless_ all of those years, maybe they’d still be here!”

Louis flinched as if he was slapped.

“Violet!” Ruby admonished sharply. “You don’t mean that!”

“I do.” Violet hissed stubbornly. “He left them! I’m blaming him if they die!”

“So am I.” Louis whispered. “If something happens to them…if something happens to _her_ …it’s all because of me.”

“Louis…” Aasim placed a hand on his shoulder. “It’s not…”

“Violet is right. I am useless.” Louis shrugged Aasim’s hand off, getting to his feet. “I can’t even protect my own fucking girlfriend.”

Violet’s eyes widened and she stilled. “Girlfriend? Oh, _fuck,_ Lou, I didn’t…”

“I…I’m going to my piano,” Louis muttered, his shoulders drooping. “I need to be alone. For now. Can you…fetch me? If they come back? Or…if anything happens?”

“Of course.” Ruby’s eyes were understanding. “Take your time, Lou.”

* * *

Louis had sat alone at the piano thousands of times before. Humming a tune to himself, picking listlessly at the keys. It had always been his happy place. To sit by himself, play the piano without the threat of anyone griping at him to tell him he was god-awful at it. But now, the empty space next to him on the bench was far too empty. He hadn’t realised before, but that space had been reserved for all of those years. Reserved for a girl with eyes like honey and a voice like a song. A girl who could shoot off a joke with biting sarcasm, but you’d flip a switch and she’d turn to endless sweet nothings in the softest tones you’d ever heard. A girl who could swing an axe into a walker’s head and hardly flinch as the blood sprayed her face, but who fumbled over her words when telling you how she really felt. That space on the bench, much like a huge place in his heart, was reserved for Clementine.

Louis sighed and hunched over the keys, his eyes resting on the carving in the piano. He reached out and traced the lumpy, misshapen heart with his index finger.

_“Oh, that’s, uh, that's a potato?”_

_A scathing look. An amused smile._

_“It’s a heart. Yep, I see…that it’s a heart. That’s…super cool. Really cool.”_

A humourless laugh whistled through Louis’s teeth. God, he was so oblivious back then. Clem had given him all of the signs how she felt, practically screaming it in his face, and he still didn’t realise until she sat down with him and put it into words.

_"You did a good job out there too, Louis."_

_"Oh, you too? I thought I was the only one."_

_"Okay, Prince Charming. Let's see those talents in action."_

_“Hey, Louis? I really missed you.”_

_“Yeah, I’ve definitely got feelings for somebody.”_

_“You’re the cutest.”_

_“So, um, I like you a lot. Like, like you. As more than a friend.”_

_"I think I prefer a good sense of humour. If only I knew someone with one of those."_

A gentle knock sounded on the door. Louis straightened up, wiping his eyes. He hadn’t realised he was crying. “Oh. Hey, Aasim.”

“Hey. Just wanted to check on you.” Aasim hesitated before joining him at the piano, sitting down on the bench beside him. “Are you okay?”

Louis pressed his lips together. “Take a wild guess.”

Aasim sighed. “Yeah, I thought not.”

They sat in silence for a moment, Louis absent-mindedly pressing the ‘A’ key. Over and over. He didn’t know what to say.

“Look, Violet didn’t mean it.” Aasim began. “She’s grieving over Tenn. We all are.”

“I know.” Louis nodded. “She’s not wrong, though.”

“No, Lou, she is. She was, I mean.” Aasim scratched the back of his neck. “Look, I know I give you shit for it. For…not taking survival seriously. For all of the jokes. For your ‘we only have this moment’ bullshit. But…it’s _not_ bullshit. You’re right. Sometimes we do just need to…liven up a little. _Live,_ instead of just survive. I know that I say it pisses me off, but…I don’t think we could manage without you there to cheer us all up.”

“Goddamn.” Louis blinked. “You know, Aasim, that might just be the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

“Don’t get used to it.” Aasim quipped. “I’m not giving you permission to slack off.”

“Sir, yes, sir.” Louis managed a small grin. “Whatever you say, Captain Rajan.”

 _“Don’t_ call me that.” Aasim rolled his eyes.

Louis snickered. And then he fell silent. His fingers gently pressed against the keys, not playing them in any particular order. Just making up a little tune.

“I should listen to you playing piano more,” Aasim said, his eyebrows raised. “Even when you’re…you know, distracted, you’re pretty good.”

Louis ducked his head shyly. “I’ve been teaching myself how to do this for eight years.”

“It shows.” Aasim nodded his approval. “When AJ and Clem return, we should totally organize another ‘hootenanny’. You can play for us all, then.”

“Sounds good,” Louis said weakly. He hesitated, his fingers drifting to a stop. “Aasim, can you…do me a favour?”

“That depends,” Aasim said, cocking an eyebrow suspiciously. “What exactly did you have in mind?”

“Tell Ruby how you feel. I know, I know…” He held his hand up as Aasim spluttered in protest. “But look, I’m not trying to tease you with it this time. Just…hear me out.”

Aasim groaned in frustration, his cheeks tinged pink. “Why are you asking me to do this, Louis?”

“Because I know how it feels to be in your position.” Louis sighed. “I waited for Clem to make the first move. And she did, eventually, which is fantastic, but…if I’d told her how I felt, even a couple of days before she did, I’d have had more time with her, instead of just two days of knowing that she liked me back.”

“You’ll get more time with her.” Aasim insisted. “She’ll come back.”

“Maybe. But if she doesn’t…? I’ll always regret not making the move earlier. We live in a fucked-up world, Aasim. We might not get a tomorrow. It’s better to tell Ruby how you feel now and get it off of your chest than for one of you to die and never know if anything could have happened.”

Aasim faltered, his eyes trained on the dingy piano keys. He knew that the taller boy was right. “I’ll…try.”

Louis bobbed his head silently.

Aasim sighed and rifled through the papers on top of the piano. “Can you play something? Like, an actual song? I think…it’ll be good for both of us.”

“Sure.” Louis racked his brain for songs to play, but his mind kept on coming back to one song and one song only. Maybe it was an omen. An omen of what, Louis wasn’t quite sure. “I know just the one.”

His fingers drifted to the correct keys, playing the soft and slow melody with perfect precision.

 _Of course,_ Louis thought, _I wrote this one. It’d be bad if I played it wrong._

“I’ve never heard this one,” Aasim said quietly. “You’re usually playing Chopin or Mozart or some other old-timey musician, but…I don’t know this one.”

“That’s because it’s my song.” Louis cleared his throat. “I’ve…I’ve been writing this one for the past two weeks.”

“What’s it called?” Aasim asked. From the tone in his voice, though, Louis guessed that Aasim already knew the answer to that question.

“Clementine. It’s called Clementine.”

“Of course it is.” A faint smile came to Aasim’s lips. “Has she heard it?”

“She was the first person I played it for.”

“I bet she loved it. It’s really pretty.”

“Yeah.” Louis swallowed. “She…told me how she felt. After I played it, I mean.”

Aasim whistled under his breath. “Didn’t think she was the type to be seduced by being serenaded.”

“Me neither.” Louis smiled fondly. “Didn’t think she was the type to be into me at all.”

“You’re good together, you know,” Aasim told him. _“Somehow_ you fit together. Like puzzle pieces.”

Louis snorted, the song coming to a close. “Yeah, puzzle pieces that you just kind of force together by circumstance.”

“No, man.” Aasim insisted. “You balance each other out. I think…I think Clem has seen a lot of shit in her life. And I think she needs you just as much as you need her. You…you make her happy. You make her laugh. AJ told me he’s never seen her smile the way she does around you. And Violet says the same about you.”

Louis laughed under his breath. “Did you know Violet was into her too?”

Aasim rolled his eyes. “Yeah, she made that obvious. I think she got over it once she saw how much Clem liked you, though.”

“Shit, I feel bad.” Louis shook his head. “If I weren’t in the picture, Clem and Violet would probably be together.”

Aasim shrugged. “She chose you for a reason, Lou. Maybe she doesn’t see Violet in that way.”

“Who doesn’t see me in what way?” A small voice came from the door.

“Shit, Violet!” Louis’s face dropped. “You shouldn’t have come up here alone – your eyes, you could have-”

“I made it up here fine, Lou,” Violet said, and somehow Louis knew that if she could, she’d be doing that full-body eye roll. “I…I’m sorry. I was an ass, earlier.”

“I can’t blame you,” Louis said gently, getting to his feet and walking over to her. He clasped his hand in hers. “I’m worried, too. And…grieving. About Tenn.”

Her lips trembled and she threw his arms around him. “They’re gonna be okay. If anyone can survive out there, it’s Clem and AJ.”

“I know.” Louis lied. “She’s a tough cookie, my girl is. Hard as nails.”

Violet smiled feebly. “So, when did that happen? You and Clem, I mean.”

Louis sighed, running a hand through his dreads. “A few days ago. The day of…the first attack.”

“Oh.” Violet’s brow furrowed. “Fuck, she ditched me on lookout duty to go and make out with you!” But there was no malice in her voice.

Louis guffawed. “I don’t think that was her plan. That just…kind of ended up happening.”

“Gross. I was joking.” Violet’s nose wrinkled playfully. “Uh, anyway, Ruby said to tell you to come downstairs for food. Omar’s still recovering so he won’t be cooking, but we’ve got some dried provisions.”

“I bet he’s pissed about that.” Aasim chuckled. “Omar hates relying on the dried stuff.”

Violet’s lip curled in a smirk. “Oh, he’s upset. But Ruby is pretty convinced that he needs to rest.”

“I’m not hungry.” Louis glanced at his piano. “I…I’ll eat whenever. Just not now.”

“Nope,” Violet said nonchalantly. “Doctor Ruby’s orders. You’ve gotta keep your strength up in case…”

“In case…?” Louis’s brow furrowed.

Violet bit her lip. “In case we need to send out a search party tomorrow.”

“Oh.” Louis swallowed. “Yeah, okay.”

* * *

“Just let me cook!” Omar whined. “It won’t take too long. I’ll be off of my feet in no time!”

“Absolutely not,” Ruby said firmly, a challenging spark in her eye. “We can survive without a hot meal for one day, Omar. If you fuck up your leg permanently by standing now, we’ll never eat cooked food again. Your choice.”

Omar grumbled under his breath but conceded, seeing her point.

Louis picked at his food listlessly, tearing strips off of the dried beef jerky.

“Eat properly, Lou,” Ruby scolded, ever the mother hen. “You need to keep your strength up.”

Louis sighed but did as she ordered. He could barely even taste it, his mind occupied on other things. “Where’s Willy?”

“Still keeping lookout.” Ruby shrugged. “I took some food up to him, but he barely even noticed me there. He’s determined to keep an eye out for Clem and AJ.”

“Well, if anyone can spot them, he can,” Louis said approvingly.

They ate in near-silence, only swapping idle chatter, nobody wanting to look at the three empty seats at the bench. The three seats that should have been occupied by people.

Half an hour passed. Then an hour. The sky began to darken and the uneasy pit in Louis’s stomach grew and grew as there was no sign of Clem and AJ.

Until Willy’s voice rang across the courtyard, and the little boy clambered down from the watchtower to open the gate.

“Holy shit, _Clem!”_

Louis leapt to his feet, clutching the splintered wooden table.

The tone in Willy’s voice…was not promising.

“What happened?” Louis raced over to the gate. “What…what…?”

He stopped dead at the sight in front of him. His heart stopped. His blood ran cold.

“Louis,” AJ sniffled, clinging feebly to the wheelbarrow he was pushing. “I…I tried to…I tried.”

Clementine was curled up in the wheelbarrow, sheet-white and frail. Blood was pooling around her, mixing with the walker entrails that covered every inch of her skin. Louis quickly located the source of the blood. Her leg.

Or, what was left of her leg.

“Holy shit!” Aasim clapped a hand to his mouth.

Her lower leg, where her ankle and her foot should be, there was just…nothingness. A mess of blood and tendons and – Louis’s stomach churned – bone that stuck out below of her knee.

“Fuck.” Louis blurted, collapsing to his knees. Hot tears streamed down his face. “No, god, _fuck_ no.”

Ruby crouched by Clem’s head, grabbing her wrist and running her finger over the veins.

The world stood still for an eternity as Ruby’s brow furrowed. Nobody spoke. Nobody moved.

Ruby’s breathing stilted. “I…I don’t think…I don’t feel…”

“Ruby, please,” Louis begged. “She can’t be…”

Ruby shook her head erratically, bending over the wheelbarrow. Her fingers probed, feeling for a pulse. She stiffened before breaking into sobs. “Oh, thank god! I-I think I have a pulse, but it’s faint.”

“What happened?” Violet gripped AJ’s shoulder. “What…I can’t see what’s going on!”

“Sh-she got bit. On the leg.” AJ wept. “She told me to…to kill her, but I…I couldn’t. I had to do _something,_ so I cut it off. Please don’t be mad at me.”

“Oh, _shit!”_ Violet cursed. “She got _bit?”_

Louis’s ears filled with white noise.

She got bit. Clementine, the unkillable. She got bit. After eight years of surviving on her own. Because he left her. Because he fled, like a coward. He should have stayed with her. He should have made her get over the fence first. He should have…he should have…

A sob tore from his throat. He clung onto her hand, her lifeless, pale hand.

Muffled voices wafted around his ears.

_“Fuck, let’s…let’s get her inside.”_

_“Ruby, you need to…she needs antibiotics, quick.”_

_“Her leg, how will she cope? How will_ we _cope?”_

_“Don’t talk like that, Willy! We just need to stop the bleeding…”_

_“Take her-”_

_“Aasim, lift her up. Carefully!”_

He snapped out of it as he heard a pained, high-pitched shriek, ripping from the unconscious girl’s throat. Clem twisted in Aasim’s grasp, trying to get away from the source of her pain.

“Stop it!” Louis snapped. “You’re _hurting_ her! Stop it!”

“Louis, I have to lift her!” Aasim argued. “We need to get her inside.”

“You’re hurting her,” Louis repeated instinctively. “I…”

“I know!” Aasim’s eyes softened. “I know I’m hurting her – I don’t want to! But we need to take her inside to patch her up.”

Louis’s breath escaped him in a loud whoosh of air. He couldn’t speak, the lump in his throat preventing him from even making the slightest noise.

“Trust me, Louis.”

Louis swallowed and nodded his head jerkily.

Aasim hoisted Clem into his arms in a bridal carry, grimacing at how light she was. Her head lolled against his shoulder. “Willy, grab some towels and Ruby’s medical kit, okay? We’ll put her on her bed, but we don’t want her to bleed through.”

Louis heaved himself to his feet, following listlessly behind Aasim, unwilling to let his girlfriend out of his sight. His gaze remained fixated on her colourless cold hand, hanging limply over Aasim’s back. Aasim laid her gently on the bottom bunk in her and AJ’s room, biting his lip as a pained moan escaped her lips. Willy placed the supplies on the floor next to her bed. AJ tucked the dirty towel under her leg, making sure no gore leaked onto the mattress.

“Louis, you should go.” Ruby fretted, tucking one of Clem’s curls away from her sweaty brow and cautiously coaxing one of her eyes open, wincing at how red and bloodshot they were.

“Absolutely fucking not.” Louis shook his head. “I’m not leaving her for one fucking second.”

Ruby opened her mouth to protest but Aasim touched her shoulder. “Let him stay. He’ll worry himself to death if he doesn’t.”

“Fine.” Ruby huffed. “We need to…tie her to the bedpost.”

“What? Why?” Louis’s brow furrowed. “She’s unconscious.”

“I know, but… just in case. In case she turns.” Ruby clasped her hands close to her heart. “God help us, I hope she doesn’t.”

AJ wordlessly handed Ruby some bloodied rope. It must have come from the wheelbarrow. She looped the rope around Clem’s wrist, tying it tight enough to constrain movement but not tight enough to restrict blood flow.

“Aasim, pass me the antiseptic,” Ruby ordered, prodding at the remnants of Clem’s leg. “We need to make sure it’s not infected.”

“But I cot-er-ized it!” AJ protested. “She won’t be infected!”

“I know you did, hon, and you did a good job. I just want to be sure that it’s clean. Cauterizing…doesn’t always work. Especially because you didn’t have any medical equipment with you.” Ruby winced as she poured alcohol on the stump and a piercing shriek erupted from the unconscious girl’s lips. “Fuck, poor Clem. This must hurt like hell.”

Louis’s head spun and his stomach churned. He clutched Clem’s hand. Her nails bit into his skin as she squeezed his hand in pain. “Can’t you give her pain meds or something? Just…just make her stop screaming. _Please.”_

Ruby gnawed on her bottom lip, glancing at her blood-speckled hand. “Too risky. If we gave her morphine, we might miss any signs of her regaining consciousness. And in the state she’s in, she might choke on any pills.”

Louis shut his eyes tight, tears running down his face. “I don’t want her to be in pain.” His voice cracked.

“I know, sug. None of us do.” Ruby seized a water bottle from her med pack, soaking a cloth and pressing it to the bleeding stump. The blood spread quickly, saturating the grimy white fabric dark red in a matter of seconds. “I need to…I need to shorten and smooth the bone.”

“Shorten the bone?” Louis gritted his teeth, ignoring the queasy turning in his stomach. “Why?”

“So it can heal properly.” Ruby’s face went ashen. “Fuck, that won’t be pleasant. For me or for her. Willy,” She addressed the trembling younger kid. “Can you do me a favour and grab some kind of saw or blade from Mitch’s stuff?”

Willy nodded wordlessly and dashed from the room.

Aasim cursed. “What do you want us to do? How can we help?”

“Keep track of her pulse,” Ruby instructed. “That’s all I need, okay? Just…make sure it’s steady and tell me if it stops.”

“Got it.” Aasim grasped Clem’s limp wrist, pressing his index and middle finger to her veins. “It’s steady right now. Faint, but steady.”

“Good.”

Willy returned, clutching a hacksaw so tight that his knuckles had gone white.

“That’s perfect, thank you, Willy.” Ruby blew stray hairs out of her face, in full medical mode now. “This is going to suck. Maybe you shouldn’t stick around for this.”

“I’m staying,” Louis repeated.

“I know, Lou. I mean the littluns. Willy, why don’t you and AJ go and…hang out somewhere? Find Violet, I’m sure she’d like the company.”

 _“Hang out?”_ AJ’s eyes were reproachful. “While Clem’s hurt?”

“I know it’s hard, AJ, but it’s best for her if she doesn’t have people crowding around her. And it’s best for you if you’re distracted.”

AJ opened his mouth to protest but something in Ruby’s eyes must have scared him because he nodded and took Willy’s hand. “Okay. We’ll go to Violet.”

Ruby gripped the hacksaw grimly, psyching herself up. She let out a shaky breath as she held the hacksaw to Clem’s stump.

Louis focused his eyes on Clem’s pale face, choking back bile at the sickening noise of metal on bone. Clementine howled in pain, writhing on the mattress. He held her down, swiping his thumb across her cheek and willing himself not to look at her leg. Her eyelashes fluttered, glimpses of her honey-brown irises catching Louis’s eye.

“Jesus Christ,” Aasim said, repulsed. “That…that’s fucking disgusting.”

“Yeah, you think?” Ruby hissed, focused. “It’s ten times worse for me, and a hundred times worse for her.”

“You’re right, shit, I’m sorry.” Aasim apologised. And then he cursed. “Fuck, Ruby, her _pulse-!”_

 _“What?”_ Ruby looked up, catching Aasim’s eye. She dropped the hacksaw on the bed, lurching forward to place her hand over Clem’s heart. “Oh, _shit!_ Fuck, dammit, _no!”_

“What’s happening?” Louis burst out, clenching his hand so tightly that his nails cut perfect crescents into the flesh of his palm. “Her pulse? Is…is she okay?”

“Louis, you need to go,” Ruby demanded. She leaned over Clem and pressed her hands to her chest. “We need to start CPR!”

“She…she’s not…?”

Aasim swore, hoisting Louis to his feet. “Come on, man. We need space for this.”

“Aasim…!” Louis’s face was wet with tears. “Just…just tell me. Is she going to die?”

“All I can say is that she might.” Ruby’s breath came out in short bursts between chest compressions, her voice strained. “But we need to focus, Louis. We can’t do that when you’re here fretting. Go and join the others, okay? We’ll keep you posted.”

Before Louis could respond, Aasim pushed him outside and slammed the door shut.

Louis’s last glimpse of his girlfriend was of her face, pale and drawn and lifeless.

* * *

“Her heart stopped?” Omar’s face twisted in worry. “That…that’s not good.”

“No fucking shit, Omar.” Louis snapped.

Violet hesitated and patted his shoulder. “Ruby’s a good medic.”

“But even she didn’t know what she was doing!” Louis blurted. “Clem is dying, Violet!”

“Don’t say that.” AJ grabbed at Louis’s hand. “Don’t!”

“Look, everyone, calm down.” Violet crossed her arms. “We’re not doing her any good by fighting.”

Louis slumped down on the couch, the anger ebbing away. He dropped his head into his hands. “I don’t know what I’ll do without her.”

“Louis, I’m saying this with utmost confidence, okay?” Violet lied, biting her lip, and quashing her worry. “You won’t have to live without her. She’ll come out of this fine. With one less leg, but fine. We just have to wait it out.”

“Okay,” Louis said uncertainly. He wasn’t convinced, but…if Violet, the eternal pessimist was, surely there must be some truth to her words, right? “I trust your judgement, Vi.”

Violet leaned into his side, figuring he needed comfort. “She’ll wake up, right as rain, and I bet the first thing she’ll do is ask for you and AJ.”

Half an hour later, Aasim came out to meet them, wiping his bloodied hands on his jeans. Louis jolted up, his eyes searching Aasim’s unreadable face.

“Is she…?” Louis found himself unable to finish the question.

“Stable. Ruby is bandaging her up now.” Aasim confirmed. “Pulse is back, and stronger than it was before. It’s a good sign.”

Louis slumped, an exhausted smile crossing his face. “Thank god.”

“She’s gonna live?” Violet sighed in relief.

Aasim shrugged. “Probably. We’re not out of the waters yet, but…”

“When will she wake up?” AJ prompted. “Is she awake now?”

Aasim grimaced. “See, that’s the problem. It could take anywhere from a couple of days to a couple of months for her to wake up.”

 _“Months?”_ Louis’s face crumpled.

“She lost a _lot_ of blood.” Aasim crossed his arms. “We’re just…lucky she’s alive.”

Louis stood up. “I’m going to go and see her.”

“Me too,” AJ piped up, grabbing his hand.

Aasim nodded. “One at a time. We’re going to keep watch in shifts, okay? To make sure she’s alive.”

“Sounds good.” Omar agreed. “I bet you want to take first watch, Lou?”

“Damn right I do.”

* * *

The colour had returned slightly to Clem’s cheeks. She was still pale, but she no longer looked like a literal corpse.

Louis sat beside her, grabbing her free hand, as the other one was still tied to the bedpost. Ruby had insisted that they keep her tied up.

“I’m glad you’re alive.” He whispered to her. “I thought I lost you again.”

_“Only for a minute.”_

_“Longest damn minute of my life.”_

That’s what she had said last time. That nonchalant attitude, a grin crossing her face as though she had near-death experiences every day. Which, when he thought about it, she probably did.

“No more.” He told her. “I’m going to make sure you don’t have any more near-death experiences. Even if it means we have to keep you tied up here forever.”

He was only half-joking.

He leaned down and kissed her forehead, brushing her curls out of her face.

“Wake up soon, sunshine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is heavily appreciated! I love getting comments, it spurs me on to write every day!


	2. lord, make me a rainbow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clem realises she's dying and runs into some familiar figures in the afterlife. In the living world, Louis frets over her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love platonic vi/lou content

It felt like she was floating.

The growls and moans of the monsters in the cells faded away into static, the noise of the axe _sliced_ through her eardrums until all she heard was nothing, nothing, _nothing…_

A dull burning throbbed through her leg, where the _teeth_ had entered, and her energy had ebbed out with the river of blood pouring down her ankle.

She cracked one eye open, wincing in the bright sunlight.

Sunlight?

No…not sunlight.

_Where am I…?_

How was it so bright? Her eyes hurt.

_I want to go home._

Out of the white noise, a familiar voice called her name.

“…lem? Clem? Are you there?”

She smiled.

_I’m here, Lee._

When Clem dreamed of Lee, she usually dreamed he had both arms. Force of habit, she supposed, and it usually told her that…that it was just that. A dream. And Lee was really gone. Because his arm was gone, and if her dream Lee had both arms, it couldn’t be real.

Maybe she wasn’t dreaming this time.

“I’m dead, aren’t I?” The words escaped her lips before she could stop them. “Or at least I’m…dying.”

Lee glanced down at his stump. “Yeah, I…I think so.”

Clem sighed, her shoulders drooping. Relief and joy circulated through her body, the exhaustion of the past eight years washing away. “Good. I’m ready.”

“You’ve had it rough. I’m so proud of you.” Lee told her, his brown eyes warm and loving. “You did amazing, sweet pea, like I always knew you would.”

Clem’s lip trembled, and she launched herself forward, barrelling into his chest. The white-hot pain in her leg flared up even more. Lee raised his arm to catch her, lifting her onto her tiptoes.

“I missed you so much.” She gasped. “Lee, I…”

“I know,” He kissed her forehead. “I missed you too. Like missing a piece of my own heart. My little girl.”

A sob tore from her throat. “Lee…you were the best father I could have asked for. I was so lucky to have you, and I fucked it up. I fucked it all up. You died because of me.”

“Oh, Clem…I don’t deserve that. And neither do you.” Lee sighed. “In the grand scheme of things, I didn’t teach you anything. You made it this far on your own. And I couldn’t be prouder.”

“I couldn’t have done it without you.” Clem insisted. “I…I would have died so long ago if it weren’t for you.”

Lee smiled. “Maybe. I’m not the only one, though.” He pulled away and took her hand, like she was still that scared nine-year-old who was living through the end of the world. “Come on, sweet pea. We’ve all been waiting for you for a long time.”

“All…?”

“Damn _fucking_ right we have!” A familiar figure emerged from the blinding light.

* * *

A week. She’d been unconscious for a week. Louis couldn’t lie, he was starting to worry even more. Her face grew less pale and more rosy every day, her breathing less laboured, but…Ruby still insisted that they tie her wrist to the bed, and that worried him. Because it meant there was still a chance she could turn.

“How’s she doing?” A voice broke him from his thoughts, and he turned to the door.

“She’s fine. Same as always.”

Violet nodded and pursed her lips, cautiously stepping towards the source of his voice. Louis reached a hand out to steady her.

“How are _you_ doing, Lou?”

“Same as always,” Louis repeated, taking a peek at the fresh bandage concealing Clem’s stump. “Worried. So worried.”

“She’s getting better every day, right?” Violet crossed her arms. “Ruby’s pleased with her progress.”

“I know, but…” Louis faltered. “She’s still out of it.”

“Aasim said it could take up to a couple of months.” Violet hesitated before reaching out. Her hand came into contact with his fuzzy dreadlocks and she trailed her fingers down, cupping the back of his neck and pulling him into a hug. Louis rested his head on her shoulder, sighing heavily.

“I love her,” Louis said weakly. Violet rested her chin on the top of his head, humming in acknowledgement. “I mean, I wasn’t sure before, I thought I was at least _falling_ in love with her, but…it wasn’t until I saw her in that wheelbarrow and I thought she was dead that I realised I really do love her.”

“She’s easy to love,” Violet said simply.

Louis cursed and pulled back, squeezing her hand. “Fuck, Vi, I didn’t mean to…I know you liked her too, and…”

“Don’t be an idiot, Louis.” Violet snickered. “Clem is my friend. That’s it. I knew from the moment that she appealed to you against Marlon, and the way she looked at you…I knew I had no chance. And I’m fine with that, because I love you to pieces, and I love knowing that you’re happy with her.”

Louis smiled. “You haven’t had much of a chance to see us happy together yet. Wait till she wakes up. Then you’ll see.”

Violet huffed a laugh. “I’ll _see,_ will I?”

Louis groaned. “Dammit, Vi, I’m sorry. You know what I mean.”

“I know what you mean.” Violet cackled evilly and kissed Louis’s forehead. “Come and have dinner with us. Aasim and Ruby told me they’ll take over.”

“Vi, I…” Louis glanced back to Clem’s prone body. “I don’t know if I can leave her.”

“Come on.” Vi’s voice softened. “We miss you. You can spare to take your eyes off of her for half an hour, right?”

* * *

“Kenny?” Clem’s eyes filled with tears.

“Hey, hon,” Kenny held his arms wide open. His face – unmarred, the deep purple bruising and ragged white eyepatch gone – was warm and filled with affection. “It’s good to see you.”

“Holy shit!” She threw herself into his arms. A faint voice in the back of her head told her that this had happened before, a million years ago. On the balcony of the ski lodge.

“We’re all here.” A feminine voice called from behind him, and Clem pulled away to see a face that she saw every day. Like AJ’s face. But not quite.

“Rebecca.” Clem’s chin quivered. “I…I tried.”

“You did amazingly,” Rebecca said, drawing the younger girl in for a hug. “My little boy…my Alvin Junior. Is he…good?”

“He’s the best.” Clem sniffled. “I…you’d be so proud, Rebecca. He’s _just_ like you and Alvin.”

“I hope he’s nicer to you than I was.” Rebecca sighed. “I was a wicked bitch, wasn’t I?”

“Only a little. I…I can’t blame you. I was awful to you, to begin with.”

“You were a child.” Rebecca shook her head. “I was a grown woman who decided to be petty to an eleven-year-old.”

“I don’t hold that against you, Rebecca.” Clem insisted, squeezing her hand. “I was a stranger, and you thought I was bit, and then I went behind your back to patch myself up…I can’t blame you for not trusting me.”

Rebecca laughed. “We’ll agree to disagree.”

Clem turned back to Lee. “Who else is here?”

Lee smiled at her. “Well, who do you want to see?”

* * *

_Aasim and Ruby seem close today,_ Louis thought absently as he stirred at his stew. Omar was finally up on his feet, meaning the days of provisions were over. _Maybe Aasim finally took my advice._

“Shitfuck!” AJ let out a noise of frustration as the purple crayon in his hand snapped.

A laugh burst from Violet’s lips. “Shitfuck?”

“Yep.” AJ nodded solemnly. “My crayon broke.”

Louis shook his head in amusement. “What are you working on, bud?”

“A get-well card for Clem! Omar told me it’d be a nice idea.” AJ held it up proudly. He’d drawn three stick figures holding hands, one tall, one medium-sized, and one short. The thick sprout of dreads, the squiggle of curls under a hat, and the round afro clearly denoted that they were Louis, Clem, and AJ. A round dog was scribbled next to the trio, the name ‘Rosie’ sloppily scrawled above it, and the phrase ‘Get Well Soon, Clem’ was written in big rainbow letters at the top. The figures were standing in front of what looked like a mansion. Louis smiled and a warm feeling settled in his chest as he registered that it was half-coloured purple.

“Wow, that’s great, AJ! Is that our house?”

“Yep! I don’t think I can draw all nine hundred and fourteen floors, but it’s a start.” AJ studied the drawing. “Do you think she’ll like it?”

“She’ll love it,” Louis assured him.

“It looks great.” Violet agreed, winking in Louis’s general direction. AJ, in his excitement, seemed to have forgotten that Violet was ever so slightly blind. “Seems like we’ve got a natural artist in the group.”

AJ’s face fell. “But the purple crayon is broken, and I can’t finish it now.”

“Sure you can! Let me show you a magic trick.” Louis grabbed the broken crayon and grabbed a matchbox from his pocket, striking a match and melting the two halves until they stuck back together. “Ta-da!”

“Thank you, Louis!” AJ grabbed the crayon eagerly.

“Don’t press so hard, little dude,” Louis instructed him. “That’s how it’ll break again.”

 _“Mmh,”_ AJ mumbled, only half listening. His tongue poked out in concentration as he tried to stay within the pencilled lines of his drawing. “Done!” He clapped his hands happily.

Louis heaved a sigh and got up, pushing his half-eaten bowl of stew away from him. “Delicious as always, Chef Omar, but I must regretfully say that I’m full.”

Omar raised an eyebrow, smiling. “Or you just want to get back to Clem.”

Louis smiled sheepishly. “Uh, maybe.”

Omar shrugged and pushed the bowl to AJ, who eagerly grabbed it, moving his get-well card out of the way. “Well, luckily we have the human vacuum over here.” Omar chuckled.

“What’s a vacuum?” AJ asked curiously.

“People used to use them to clean. There was a kind of sucky-thing inside and it would suck up all of the dust, so you could empty it into the trash.” Omar informed him. He always seemed to like informing AJ about the features of the old world.

“Like you.” Louis poked AJ’s stomach playfully. “Vacuuming up all of the leftovers.”

AJ grinned at him and handed him the now-finished card. “Can you give this to Clem? I know she’s not awake yet, but…”

“I’ll put it in pride of place on her bedside table,” Louis promised, ruffling his hair. “So it can be the first thing she sees when she wakes up.”

“Thank you, Louis!” AJ threw his arms around the taller boy. Louis’s heart just about melted in his chest. “You’re the best.”

“Any time, little dude.” He pocketed the card and made his way upstairs to the room that Clem and AJ shared. Time to relieve Aasim and Ruby of watch-duty.

As he approached the door, the sound of faint chatter caught his ears.

“…didn’t mean to punch you that night. It was kind of reflex. I was embarrassed.”

“I’m sorry, Ruby. Clem was evil for daring me to do that.”

“If I’d have known it was just for a dare, I probably wouldn’t have been so…defensive.”

“I…It wasn’t. Just for a dare, I mean. I…was kind of hoping you’d accept. I…kind of like you. A lot.”

Louis grinned. _Real smooth, Aasim._

“Wait…really? Aasim, you…should have told me.”

He peeked his head around the doorframe, biting back a chuckle as he saw how close the two were sitting.

“I…” Ruby blushed, tearing her eyes away from Aasim, before catching sight of their friend creeping in the door. “Fuck, Louis!”

“Hey, lovebirds.” Louis greeted, waving. “Hope I’m not interrupting anything.”

“How much did you hear?” Aasim sputtered, the tips of his ears bright pink.

“Enough.” Louis laughed. “Don’t worry, though. I’m only here to relieve you of your duties. You can head off on your own and…not flirt over my girlfriend’s comatose body.”

“You make it sound _weird!”_ Ruby protested, going as red as her hair.

“It’s kind of weird.” Louis teased. “But I’m not judging. Well, maybe a little.”

“Fuck off.” Aasim groaned, getting to his feet, and playfully pushing Louis’s shoulder. He hesitated before offering his hand to Ruby, who blinked at him before giving him a radiant smile and taking it.

“Glad to see you took my advice,” Louis said approvingly, winking.

Ruby’s brow furrowed. “Advice? What does he mean, advice?”

Aasim cursed under his breath. “Uh, I’ll tell you in a second. Let’s leave Louis to it.”

“Much appreciated, dude.” Louis placed AJ’s card on the bedside table and took his normal seat at the head of Clem’s bed, taking her still cold – but getting warmer – hand in his.

Aasim hesitated in the doorframe before leaving. “She’s really getting better, Lou. It looks more like she’s going to wake up every day.”

Louis swallowed, tracing his thumb down Clem’s soft cheek. “Yeah. I hope so.”

* * *

“Christa!” Clem’s mouth dropped open. “O-Omid!”

“Been a while.” Omid’s face was adorned with that same cheeky grin as usual – one that, Clem realised with a pang in her chest, made her think of Louis. They would like each other, Clem decided. Louis and Omid…two peas in a pod.

Clem realised with a jolt that she was surrounded by even more people. Smiling at her, welcoming. People she knew and loved.

Luke.

Alvin.

Sarah.

Katjaa.

Carley.

Doug.

Duck.

Nick.

Pete.

Mitch.

_Tenn._

She opened her arms and let Tenn run towards her, squeezing him to her in a tight hug.

“I’m sorry.” Tenn wiped a tear from his eye. “I…I almost got Louis killed. I’m sorry. I was weak, and…”

“You weren’t weak, Tenn.” Clem insisted. “Anyone would have done the same in your situation. Minnie was…manipulating you.”

Tenn nodded, a small smile spreading across his lips. “I…I’m not upset at AJ. I understand why he did what he did. I was going to get someone killed, I know that.”

Even Marlon and Brody were there. Brody had a wide, shy smile on her face, and Marlon looked sheepish, guilty even.

“Clementine.” He greeted awkwardly. “I…”

Clem rolled her eyes. “I know, Marlon.”

His eyes were worried. “The others. They…?”

“Safe,” Clem confirmed. “They’re all okay.”

“Thank god. I only wanted to protect them.” Marlon said weakly. “I know it doesn’t excuse my actions. I know. I just…I’m sorry. I had issues, Clem. I hope you can understand.”

“I…don’t forgive you.” Clem crossed her arms. “I don’t think I can. But…I understand wanting to protect your friends.”

Marlon nodded, accepting her judgement. “You were a good leader to them, you know.” He said quietly. “You…protected them more than I ever could.”

A lump rose in Clem’s throat. “They’re my family. How could I not protect them?”

* * *

“Today marks three weeks,” Louis informed Clem’s unconscious form, rubbing comforting circles on the back of her hand with his thumb. “I…I miss you, sunshine. It’s really weird to think that you’ve been…you know, unconscious for longer than I knew you awake. Fuck, it’s really weird to think that I only knew you for two weeks before falling in love with…” He sighed, running his free hand through his dreads. “I guess that in this world, we gotta take love where we find it, right?”

His words lingered in the silence, and Louis sighed, pulling a small book out of one of the larger pockets on his coat.

“Uh, Mrs Martin had this in her stuff. It…contains information on what to do when your loved one is in a coma. Or, unconscious. I guess you’re not technically in a coma. Um, anyway, I thought I’d read it to you while I was here. Maybe it’ll help. It should help me, and…maybe it’ll help you too.”

Louis cleared his throat and began to read.

 _“Make sure that a few friends and family members visit regularly, rather than in large groups at a time.”_ Louis nodded. “Well, we have that one down. Ruby won’t let more than three people see you at any one time.”

 _“Help nursing staff with simple tasks, such as wiping the person’s face._ Well…” Louis rolled his eyes. “Ruby won’t let us slack off on taking care of you. Not that _I_ ever would, but I know Willy gets a bit…frustrated with it. He just wants you to wake up. We all do.”

 _“Make physical contact with the person, such as holding his/her hand or stroking his/her skin.”_ Louis grinned and kissed the back of her hand. “Already on it.”

 _“Talk or read to your loved one, for example, tell them about your day, or what is happening at home; talk about their favourite sports team; speak of familiar names, places, interests and experiences that the person has had in the past. This should be done in a sensible, normal voice, as if they were able to reply.”_ He laughed. “See, I’m good at this, sunshine. Half of this stuff I’ve already been doing.”

 _“If allowed, play the patient’s favourite music through headphones. Try not to play it too loud or for too long.”_ Louis paused and glanced at the door. “Music…”

Well, he couldn’t exactly haul his piano into her room. He wasn’t exactly _weak,_ but that thing was fucking huge. Plus it wouldn’t fit through the door. Did he dare carry her up to the piano room?

A quick glance at her face made him decide against that. “No, I won’t risk hurting you.” He murmured, kissing her fingertips. “I…I’ll bring the music to you.”

But how?

“The record player!” He perked up, his face brightening. “I’ll bring you the record player!”

He leapt to his feet, thrilled to bits with his idea.

“Just…wait here, Clem! I…uh…not that you can go anywhere, but…”

Where was the last place that they’d left the gramophone? Fuck, was it in the music room? When they’d had Ruby’s hootenanny?

He exited the room eagerly, hopping the stairs two at a time to get to his destination. As per usual, nobody was in the piano room, deigning it his territory. He let out a quiet whoop of celebration as he saw his target in the corner. The classical record was still on top, the needle frozen in place.

“Fuck yeah!” He lifted the gramophone, grunting at its weight. Oh, well, it wasn’t _too_ heavy. He could handle it. Plus, it was worth it.

Slowly, carefully, Louis made his way down to Clem’s room with the gramophone. He placed it down at the foot of her bed with a relieved sigh.

_“Got any classical?”_

_“Ah, a woman after my own heart.”_

He smiled at the memory, placing the needle in place on the record. The soft sound of piano filled the room. “Listen to this, Clem. Do you remember Ruby’s party? And how we went on a ‘date’ before that. That was incredible, right? I…it’s one of my favourite memories. And it hardly even happened three weeks ago. But it was one of the last times I saw you laugh.”

Clem’s fingers twitched.

Louis’s eyes widened, a broad smile crossing his face. “I’d give anything to see you laugh like that again,” He told her, desperation entering his voice. “So, please…wake up soon. For me.”

* * *

A faint piano playing wafted through the air. Clem realised with a jolt that it was one of the classical songs from the old gramophone that they’d carted out for Ruby’s party.

“The fuck is that?” Kenny scrunched his face up in confusion. “A piano?”

Lee cursed. He straightened up urgently, looking into the brightness as though he could see something that Clem couldn’t. “I think…I think we were wrong.”

“Wrong?” Clem shivered. She felt cold. And the ache in her leg…it was spreading and intensifying. Like her ankle was on fire. Or worse. A whimper died in her throat. She gritted her teeth and soldiered through the pain. “Wrong about what?”

“You. It’s not your time yet.” Lee swallowed, brushing a strand of dark hair out of her face. “You’re waking up, honey.”

“What?” Clem’s eyes widened and she shook her head. “I can’t be. I…I’m bitten. I’m staying with you!”

“Clem, your people need you.”

“But _I_ need _you!”_ Clem blurted, angry tears pouring down her face. Her leg was still burning. “I can’t…I’m ready to die! I’m fucking _ready!”_

“I know.” Lee fixed her with a sympathetic look. “I know you are. But they aren’t.”

“They’ll be fine!”

“No.” Rebecca wiped her eyes, sniffling. “AJ is only little. You need to take care of him.”

“He’s strong,” Clem vowed. “He’s capable. Louis will look after him.”

“But Louis isn’t ready to say goodbye either.” Marlon crossed his arms. “He needs you.”

“Louis…” A flash of pain speared through Clem’s chest. “Louis will get over me.”

“No, he won’t.” Marlon shook his head. “He’s falling in love with you, Clementine. If you die here…he’ll lose his mind. He’s already lost so much. Look after him for me.”

Clem bit her lip. “I can’t go back.” She repeated. “I’m bitten. I’m dead.”

“Evidently not.” Omid shrugged. “Uh, about the dead part. I don’t doubt that you’re bitten.”

Clem’s heart clenched in her chest. “I don’t want to say goodbye.”

“Clem,” Lee’s eyes were soft. “You don’t have to say goodbye. We’ll see you here again, one day. Just…not for many years, I hope. I want you to live a long and full life.”

Clem’s chin trembled. The pain in her leg was getting stronger, and a fuzzy voice was starting to fill her head. _Louis._

“It’s time.” She said thickly, understanding flooding her body. “I have to go now.”

Lee held his arms open, and Clem hardly hesitated before giving him one last hug. “I’ll miss you, sweet pea.”

Clem squeezed her eyes shut and nodded. “I’ll miss you, too. All of you.”

“Come back any time, Clem.” Lee urged her. “We can meet on the train again.”

“I thought those were dreams.” She whispered. “I…didn't think they were real.”

Lee chuckled. “Of course they were dreams. But that doesn’t mean they weren’t real.”

Clem laughed. “Are you…quoting Harry Potter at me?” She’d read the books once, many years ago. In a different life.

“I didn’t mean to.” She felt the pressure of a kiss on her forehead. “I’ll see you, sweet pea.”

The brightness faded away into the shadow of her closed eyes.

When she opened her eyes, she was back in her dorm room. The weight of Lee’s arms was nothing more than a blanket covering her body. The dull ache still throbbed through her leg.

Her ears pricked up at the sound of soft humming, and her heart swelled as she caught sight of the certain dreadlocked boy who held her heart, sat by her side. _Like a loyal dog,_ she thought playfully. _A cute Labrador puppy. Yeah, Louis is totally a Labrador._ His gaze was fixed on a book on his lap. He held one of her hands in his, playing with her fingers gently.

“Louis?” She said softly.

His head shot up. His eyes met hers.

“Clem.” Tears pooled in his eyes. “Clem, fuck, you’re…you’re okay. Holy shit. You’re awake!”

“I’m okay.” She reached up and touched his cheek. “How long have I been out?”

Louis lifted one shoulder in a shrug. His eyes sparkled. “Around three weeks.”

“Three weeks?” Her mouth fell open weakly. “No way. I can’t have been. An hour, at most.”

He let out a humourless chuckle. “Trust me, sunshine, I’ve been counting the days. Definitely three weeks.”

“Huh.” She slumped against the pillow. “I’m sorry.”

Louis looked at her, his eyes concerned. “Sorry for what? Clem, you haven’t done anything.”

“I did. I made you worry. I got bit.” She mumbled, shutting her eyes. Her breath hitched and she shot up suddenly, her mind whirling. “Wait, I got bit!”

“Clem…” Louis grimaced. “You’re okay.”

Clem turned her golden eyes to his. They were wide. Fearful. “How? I got bit. And Minnie cut my leg. I should have at least bled out.”

Louis swallowed, unsure of what to tell her. “Clem…”

 _“Ah!”_ Clem whimpered as a sharp flare of pain shot up her left leg. “My leg hurts!” Her fingers groped, clutching at the blanket. She froze when her hands met empty space. Her eyes widened. “My…leg…”

“Yeah, uh, about that…”

“Louis.” Clem’s voice was sharp. Direct. With the slightest, scared tremor. “What happened to my leg?”

Louis sighed and took her hand. “AJ cut it off. He didn’t want to lose you, and…goddamn it, neither did I.” He squeezed his eyes shut, sniffing. “I…when he brought you back, I thought you were dead. I thought I lost you, and…I couldn’t handle it. It was like I blacked out. You…you lost a pulse for a while. You _died,_ Clem. For about half an hour. And I…it almost killed me. I was in a haze until Aasim came back and told me you were alive.”

“Louis…” Clem’s eyes softened.

“I…I’ve been a mess for the past three weeks.” Louis confided in her. “I’ve barely eaten. I haven’t slept.”

“I can tell.” Clem reached up and tenderly traced the dark circles under his eyes. “You…didn’t have to worry about me so much, Lou.”

“I did, Clem.” He insisted. “I can’t live without you.”

“What are you saying?” Clem bit her lip. “Louis…”

“God,” Louis laughed breathlessly and wrapped one of her curls around his finger. “Are you really going to make me say it?”

Clem cocked her head to one side, her dark brows tilted upwards with a concerned expression. She remained silent.

Louis leaned forward so their lips were barely an inch apart. “I love you. I’m not expecting you to say it back. I understand it’s…kind of intense. My, uh, feelings for you, I mean.”

Clem’s eyes flicked down to his lips.

“No.” She whispered. “I…I get it. Your feelings.”

Louis’s face broke out into a huge smile. “Well, that’s good.”

And he kissed her. Her head spun at the intensity, heat spreading from her cheeks and pooling somewhere in the pit of her stomach. Her pulse beat in her throat, steady and strong.

He broke away, pulling her into his chest. “I’ve…been waiting to do that for about three weeks.” He told her sheepishly. She laughed eagerly and wrapped her arms around him.

“I love you too.” She uttered against his chest, her heart fluttering. “I thought…I thought I was dead, and I’d never get a chance to tell you.”

“Me too,” Louis said weakly. He kissed her forehead. “Me too.”

Clem stretched. “I need to get out of this bed.” She complained. “My whole body aches. And I'm _hungry.”_

Louis began to protest but she silenced him with a kiss.

“Pretty please?” She turned the puppy-dog eyes on, full force.

Louis swore under his breath, his face bright red. “That’s cruel, Clem. I can’t say no to that face. Or that kiss.”

Clem giggled. “Good.”

“Ruby got you crutches. They, uh, they'll have to do for now. Willy is on about designing you a prosthetic, but he wanted to wait until you woke up.” Louis stood up and grabbed them from where they were leaning against her bed, offering them to her. He helped her upright and slotted the wooden sticks under her arms. “Will you need help?”

“I’ve walked in crutches before,” Clem assured him. “I broke my leg once, ten years ago or so. I’m sure I can get the hang of it.”

And she proved herself right, adapting surprisingly easily.

She still needed Louis’s help to get downstairs, of course – which he was all too willing to do, walking in front of her carefully, ready to catch her if she fell. Once or twice she stumbled into his chest, giggling coyly, and stealing a kiss every time. Louis was half convinced she was doing it on purpose, which she insisted she wasn’t.

It was a beautiful day. The sun shone down, beating against her head, and she briefly wished she had her hat to help with the glare. But that was gone, washed up somewhere in the river.

She caught sight of her AJ, deep in thought. He hadn’t seen her yet. A grin crossed her face.

“Whatcha doing there, goofball?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaand this is where aj reunites with clem in canon. every chapter after this will be new, post-canon content.
> 
> so, i know that clem's part of this chapter feels really short, like it happens super quickly, but it's supposed to. for louis, she was out for three weeks. but for her? it was hardly an hour. i've heard that's actually rather typical for comatose patients.
> 
> Feedback is heavily appreciated! I love getting comments, it spurs me on to write every day!


	3. for tonight, let's just pretend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis can't sleep. Neither can Clem. And Louis and AJ check out the caravan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love soft clouis content.

Clementine bent over the map, scrutinizing the area around the school.

“That’s where Aasim saw them.” Louis supplied, tracing the circle that his friend had scrawled on the map. “He was ranging out far past the traps just here.”

Clem nodded, bumping his hip with her own. “I want _you_ to go.”

Louis smiled down at her. “You’re the boss.”

“We need to know who they are. Maybe even see if they’re willing to trade.” Clementine told him, leaning into his shoulder. Louis felt a warm feeling spread in his chest. Clem trusted him to do all this? “Just keep your distance until you can make a call.”

“Who _who_ are?” They straightened up and separated as a small voice called behind them. AJ entered their vision, peering at the map with childlike curiosity.

Louis glanced at Clem, a twinge of sadness in his heart. Now that Clem was okay, and he and AJ weren’t bound over their worry for her…memories of Tenn came flooding back. His sweet little face. His mannerisms. His drawings. The gunshot wound in his neck. And the look of betrayal on his face as he saw AJ’s gun pointed at him. A shaky breath escaped Louis’s lips and his eyebrows drew up, pained. He hadn’t really said much to AJ for a few weeks. Not since the get-well-soon card.

“A group of survivors, out beyond the old safe zone,” Clem answered AJ’s question. “Some kind of caravan.”

“Are they bad people?” AJ asked, not without cause. Clem turned to Louis, debating on what to say.

Louis pursed his lips before steeling himself, walking to AJ’s side. “You want to come with me in the morning and find out? I could definitely use the backup.”

“No arguments there,” Clem teased, nestling her forehead against his shoulder affectionately.

“Hey!” Louis couldn’t stop the happy lovesick grin from spreading across his face. _God, she was cute._

AJ hesitated, looking at the floor guiltily. “Aren’t you still mad I killed Tenn?”

“I…” Louis swallowed, looking at the floor. “AJ, I guess it’s like…you saw something I didn’t. About the situation, I mean. Minnie and the walkers and Tenn, it’s all this chaos in my head when I think back on it.” He glanced back at Clem, who gave him a reassuring look. “Clem says you saved my life? Well then, that’s exactly what you did. And how can I stay mad at anyone for doing that?”

AJ mulled on his words for a moment before holding out his hand innocently. Louis bit back a laugh and shook his hand, smiling down at the younger boy. A fresh start. That was what they needed.

“This is the part where you tell me you’ll be really, really careful,” Clem said, a note of concern entering her voice. Louis grinned and leaned forward, plonking a kiss on her cheek. Clem giggled and pulled away, shaking her head lovingly.

This was nice. Perfect, even.

* * *

Louis couldn’t sleep. You’d think after three weeks of sleepless nights fretting over his girlfriend, he’d finally settle once it turned out that she was okay. But no, he just couldn’t sleep.

He sighed and crawled out of bed, his bare feet hitting the rough old floorboards. This room didn’t really feel like his own, anymore. It was weird, how after nine years of sleeping in this dorm room – it was the one he had when he first arrived, assigned to share with Marlon, Dewey and Jasper – three weeks of sitting dutifully at Clem’s bedside could change everything. All of a sudden, her room seemed much more like home.

Or maybe it wasn’t her room. Maybe it was that _she_ was his home. He curled his lips in a small smile. God, when had he become a romantic? He’d always liked to flirt, to mess around and joke, but now that Clem had entered his life, it didn’t seem like a joke anymore. He remembered what Aasim said, about Clem needing him to lighten her up and make her happy…and maybe the reason he needed _her_ was so he’d finally begin to take things seriously. More seriously, that is. It would take nothing short of a miracle for him to see the world as critically as Aasim or Violet did.

Louis sighed, idling in the doorway. He needed to see her. To know she was okay. It was dumb – he knew she was, she had AJ in the room with her, and he didn’t trust anyone more than AJ to take care of her – but he needed to see her with his own eyes. But she was asleep by now, surely? He peered out of the window, judging the approximate time by the moon’s position in the sky. Midnight-ish. Yeah, Clem would definitely be asleep by now.

So, just him and his thoughts then.

He sat down heavily on his bed, absent-mindedly tracing patterns in the fabric of the sweat-pants that he slept in. The past five weeks had been…strange. Fucked up. People had died, ones who he had been surviving with for eight years. His best friend, dead and gone, leaving a hole in his heart. In his place a girl who could start to fix it. Or at least start to make it all better.

He was so caught up in his thoughts that he hardly noticed the sounds of crutches tapping down the corridor until they were right outside of his door.

“Clem?” He called quietly, crossing his arms.

“Louis?” Clem pushed open his door cautiously. “Sorry, did my crutches wake you up?”

“Nah, I was awake.” He cocked his head and looked at her. Her usual denim jacket and cargo pants were abandoned in favour of a black long-sleeved top and a pair of soft shorts – which he vaguely recognised from the girls' gym uniform, back before all of this happened – emphasising the many scars and scrapes littering her toned legs. These scars just made her all the more beautiful. Her curls were haphazardly pulled into a low ponytail. The moonlight filtering through the window gave her an ethereal glow. His heart caught in his throat. She looked like an angel. Stump leg and all.

“Why are you looking at me like that, you dork?” She smiled self-consciously, glancing at the floor.

“Nothing, you’re just…” Louis rested his chin in his hand, drinking in the sight of her. “You’re really beautiful, did you know that?”

“Shut up.”

“I’m telling the truth.” Louis hesitated before reaching out to her, inviting her in. “How did I get so lucky?”

“I ask myself that same question every day.” Clem made her way over to him, dropping her crutches unceremoniously on the floor and flopping into his arms. He laughed and fell back on the bed, pulling her into his chest. Her head rested directly over his heartbeat, which was thumping steadily – quickly – against her ear. “I’ve…I’ve wanted a safe place to call home for…the best part of eight years now. I can’t believe I’ve finally found it.”

“Found anything else you like?” Louis nudged her flirtatiously.

“Of course.” She craned her head up and kissed the underside of his chin. “I’ve finally got a family. I’ve…finally found _you.”_

Louis laughed. “Geez, way to make it sound like you’ve been stalking me for eight years.”

“Hey!” Clem protested, her cheeks reddening. “I just mean…I’ve found _this.”_ She grabbed one of his hands, interlacing their fingers. “I thought…I’d always be too focused on survival to ever even think about love. It was just…never on my radar.”

“Well, I’m glad you changed your mind.” He kissed the top of her head. “More importantly, I’m glad you changed your mind _now._ Some other guy may have swooped in and stolen you later if you didn’t.”

“Ha, yeah right.” Clem rolled her eyes. “I don’t think any other guy _or_ girl would have been able to change my mind. Only you. It’s only ever going to be you, Louis.”

“Damn.” Louis ran his fingers down her arm, relishing how his touch left goose-bumps. She shuddered. “Not even Violet?”

Clem shrugged. “Maybe. If you weren’t in the picture, maybe me and Violet could have had…something. But the moment I met you, and you sang for me? It was all over for me. There was never going to be anyone else.”

“What about that Gabe guy you were talking about? Say he comes strutting through those gates tomorrow. What do you do then?”

“Pfffft.” Clem snorted. “I can picture it now. Him with his stupid fucking orange beanie. That thing was obnoxious.”

“Well, evidently you _like_ obnoxious,” Louis smirked. “Case in point, you’re dating _me.”_

“You’re not wrong.” She conceded. “Gabriel was a different kind of obnoxious, though. Looking back on it...I can't see what I saw in him. _So_ fucking annoying.”

“You didn’t answer my question.” He poked her waist teasingly. “What do you do?”

Clem bit back a giggle. “Not him, that’s for sure.” She said coyly.

Louis spluttered. He wasn’t expecting that. _“Clementine!_ Wow, didn’t realise _you_ had a dirty mind. I would do the whole shocked first-name last-name thing that parents do, but I don’t know your surname, so, uh, yeah.”

“Everett,” Clem whispered. Deep down, a guilty feeling pooled in the bottom of her stomach for shedding her parents' surname, but in her heart…she felt like an Everett.

“Clementine Everett.” Louis smiled. "I like that. Any middle names to go with it?”

“Melissa. What about you?”

“That’s pretty. Mine was Sterling.”

_“Sterling?”_

“I told you we were rich, Clem. Rich people use bullshit fancy names, you know that.”

“It’s nice.” Clem giggled, burying her face into his neck. “Louis Sterling…what?”

“Sulieman.”

“Huh.” Clem glanced up at him. “I like that name.”

“Only because it’s attached to the love of your life.” Louis chuckled.

“Well, I wouldn’t go _that_ far…”

“Uh, weren’t you _just_ telling me that there was _‘only ever going to be me’?”_ Louis raised his pitch in an imitation of her voice.

“Oh, fuck off, Lou, I don’t sound like that.” Clem playfully slapped his chest.

“I know. I’m only teasing.” He laughed, placing two fingers under her chin and seeking her lips. She melted into the kiss, bringing her hand up to cup his cheek. Louis’s fingers danced down her spine, sending a shiver through her whole body and causing a contented sigh to escape her lips. Louis wrapped his arm around her hip and shifted her, so she was in a more comfortable and accessible permission, lying directly on his chest.

“We should sleep,” Clem whispered against his lips. “You and AJ are scouting out that caravan tomorrow…you’ll have to get up early.”

“Aw, but this is much more fun.” Louis murmured, before he betrayed himself with a yawn. “We should definitely keep doing this. You sure I can’t convince you?”

“It wouldn’t take much convincing,” Clem mumbled, pressing her cheek against Louis’s neck to hide her blush.

“Okay. Fuck.” Louis inhaled sharply, clearing his throat awkwardly. “Probably for the best that I didn’t even try, then.”

“Can I…stay? For the night?” Clem shifted awkwardly. “I understand if you want time alone…”

“Please stay.” Louis entangled his fingers with hers. “I…was toying with the idea of coming to you before you turned up here. I couldn’t sleep without you.”

“Me neither. It was driving me a little crazy.” Clem said sleepily. “I left a note for AJ, just in case he woke up before me and I wasn’t there…”

"Good idea." Louis yawned and reached over, grabbing the raggedy old blanket, and pulling it over the both of them. “I love you, sunshine.”

Clem brought his hand to her mouth, kissing his fingertips. “I love you too, dork. Now, sleep. You’ve gotta be up bright and early tomorrow.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

* * *

“So, what do you think we’ll find?” AJ inspected the gun in his hands.

Their footsteps crunched on the leafy ground, shades of red and gold swaying in the sky above them. Autumn was upon them once again. Rosie scampered happily around the duo, pleased to finally be in new territory.

“Beats me, little dude.” Louis shrugged, holding Chairles over his shoulder. “They might have even moved on. But there’s no harm in checking, right?”

“Unless they kill us both,” AJ said darkly. Louis winced. He hated the world they lived in, one where a six-year-old boy had to even think such things.

“Tell you what, I’ll go first, okay?” Louis ruffled AJ’s hair. “You and Rosie hang back and stay hidden, and if it looks like I’m being threatened, we’ll deal with it together.”

“Sounds good.” AJ agreed solemnly.

 _“Only_ if it looks like I’m being threatened, you hear me? If they’ve got a gun to my head, or something.”

“I hear you.”

“Good boy.” Louis nodded. “I think we both owe it to Clem to stay alive. I don’t think she could handle losing either of us.”

“That’s why…” AJ looked at his feet.

“Eyes up, little dude. You’ll walk into something.” Louis instructed. “That’s why…what?”

“Why I killed Tenn to save you,” AJ muttered.

Louis flinched. “Oh.”

“Clem needs you. I know she pretends she’s got a handle on everything, but I’ve never seen her look at anyone the way she looks at you. I couldn’t let that go away. I think it would kill her if you died.”

Louis nodded, slowing to a stop. “AJ?”

“Yeah?”

“Come here, kid.” He opened his arms for the child. AJ hesitated before running towards him, throwing his arms around the taller boy in a hug. “You did the right thing. I…I know what it’s like to live without her, now. I wouldn’t want her to feel the way I did when I thought she was dead.”

“She loves you,” AJ said simply, detaching from the hug and starting to walk again. “That first time, when you kicked us out of Ericsons? She was so sad when we left because she thought you didn’t like her anymore.”

“I always liked her.” Louis winced at the memory. “I was being a dummy. I was hurt over Marlon, and…I lashed out at her. I shouldn’t have done that.”

“Would you go back and change it if you could?”

“I don’t know.” He shrugged. “Maybe. If it meant the outcome was going to change…no. I don’t think I would.”

AJ nodded, accepting his answer. Rosie stopped dead, cocking her head to one side.

“What is it, girl?” Louis crouched by her side, scratching her ears gently. “You hear them?”

Rosie barked softly, nudging Louis’s hand. The sound of voices floated through the trees, the smell of smoke pervading his senses.

“Huh.” Louis got back to his feet, adjusting his coat. “Guess that’s our people. Remember the plan, AJ. I’ll head out first and try and sweet-talk them into a trade deal. You and Rosie be my backup. You stay behind these trees, okay?”

“You got it.” AJ whistled Rosie to follow him, which she did, trotting loyally to his feet. “Be careful, Louis.”

“Careful is my middle name.” Louis grinned at him. “Keep an eye out, kiddo.”

Louis braced himself before pushing through the trees into a small clearing. There was the caravan, alright. Along with four strangers, their backs turned to him as they chatted around the fire. Something roasted on a homemade spit, the savoury smell making Louis hungry. Ah, well. He had a guaranteed hot meal later. There was no need to encroach on theirs.

“Hey,” He said cautiously. The tallest stranger – a man, with salt-and-pepper hair that curled close to his head – whipped around, drawing his gun.

“Drop the bat, son.” He warned Louis. The other three – a woman, a girl around his age, and another girl, seemingly only five or six – stood up, flanking him. The woman and teen had steeled expressions. They all looked similar, Louis thought, with the same golden-brown hair and blue eyes. Mother and daughters, perhaps? The little girl was half-hidden behind the older girl’s leg, staring up at Louis nervously.

“It’s, uh, a chair leg, actually.” Louis quipped, but did as he told. “Look, my name is Louis. I’m from a community not too far away.”

“Henry.” The man said cautiously, not lowering his gun. “This is my wife Martina and our girls.”

“I’m Stephanie, but most people call me Steph.” The teenage girl told him, placing a hand on her hip. “This is Emily.”

Louis crouched down, waving at the little girl with what he hoped was a welcoming smile on his face. “Hi there, Emily.”

Emily didn’t respond, clutching Steph’s hand and hiding further behind her. Her eyes fixed on a rock on the ground in front of her.

“Look, just tell us what you want,” Henry told him. “Are we on your turf? We’ll go if we are.”

“Whoa, it’s fine.” Louis held his hands up in defence. “You’re not on our turf. We wanted to negotiate a deal. Some trade, maybe.”

“No fucking way. We’ve dealt with too many liars in the past eight years. I’m not going to fall for it again.”

“Henry,” Martina placed a hand on his shoulder. “He’s just a boy. Steph’s age.”

“Maybe that’s the point, Mart!” Henry turned to her, a dark look on his face. “We’ve seen it before. They send a kid out, someone harmless-looking, to build trust. Turns out the community is nothing more than a bunch of murderers training kids to do their dirty work. What if he’s part of the Del-” Henry cut himself off, glancing at Emily before training his eyes back on Louis. “I won’t risk it. Just…leave, please. This doesn’t need to end badly.”

“I agree.” Louis crossed his arms. “You’ve encountered the Delta too?”

Steph cursed. “How do you know who they are?”

“We had a run-in with them a couple of weeks back. Lost a few people. But we fought back.”

“I don’t fucking trust you.” Henry took a step forward, his gun pointed straight at Louis’s forehead. “That’s a cover-up. You’re one of them, aren’t you?”

“No!” Louis shook his head wildly. “I swear I’m not.”

“Prove it!”

“How am I supposed to do that?” A tinge of fear entered Louis’s voice.

“Dad,” Steph took a step forward. “I don’t think he’s lying. I think he really isn’t one of them.”

“We’ve been burned before, Stephanie.” Henry practically spat, taking another step forward. “I won’t risk it. Not after…”

“Stand back!”

Louis turned his head. “AJ!”

“I said stand back! ”The little boy had his gun aimed straight at Henry’s face. “I’ll shoot.”

“Easy, son.” Henry lowered his gun. “You shouldn’t be playing with things like that.”

“I’m not playing.” AJ’s eyes narrowed. “Stand. Back. This is your last warning.”

“I’d do as he says.” Louis cautioned. “Kid’s a dead-shot.”

Henry hesitated before taking a couple of steps backwards. “You got a kid.”

“Yep.” Louis held out his hand to AJ, who took it, standing close to his side. “This is AJ. He’s not normally so scary, but he gets upset when you threaten his family.”

“He your little brother? You’re too young to be his dad, if you’re about the same age as our Steph.”

“Not exactly.” Louis glanced down at the kid. “AJ is my girlfriend’s kid. Not, uh, her biological kid, but she’s raised him literally since the second he was born, so...closest thing to it, I guess.”

Henry nodded. “Look, I’m real sorry for pulling my gun on you, but…”

“Doggie!” Emily gasped, the first word Louis had heard her say. Rosie trotted to his side, sitting down with a curious look on her face.

Louis once again kneeled down, rubbing Rosie between the ears. “Sure is! This is Rosie. Do you want to pet her, Emily? I promise she’s friendly.”

Emily hesitated, looking up at Steph, who’s expression had softened. “Go on, Emmie. Pet the doggie.”

At Steph’s coaxing, Emily finally moved from behind her sister, and Louis stifled a gasp. Because she had scars stretching down one half of her body, marring her pale skin with ugly red lines. Some looked healed, some looked fresh. Some were deep, some were shallow. But they had one thing in common. They all looked very deliberate. Someone had hurt this girl on purpose.

Louis hoped his horror didn’t show too obviously on his face. “Here, Emily.” He stretched out his hand, and the little girl took it cautiously. He placed her hand between Rosie’s ears. The dog sat still, letting Emily take her time. “She likes it when you give her a good scratch here.”

A wide, nervous grin crossed Emily’s face, and Louis’s heart twisted when he noticed that half of the smile wasn’t nearly as big as the other, the tissue on the scarred side of her face too thick to allow for much movement. She gently patted her fingers along Rosie’s head, and the dog’s tail began to wag.

“We haven’t seen Emily get like this in a long time,” Martina said softly, tears brimming in her eyes. “She was born during all of this, you know, and…she hasn’t had many things to smile about. Baby, maybe they’re not bad people. Maybe they don't know... _them.”_

“Fine. You win, Mart.” Henry held out a hand. Louis shook it.

“I was born after the monsters came, too,” AJ said, but his words were addressed to Emily.

Emily smiled shyly at him. AJ glanced at Louis as if to say ‘I got this’. Louis took this as his cue to join the adults by the fire.

“You hungry?” Henry gestured to the fire. “We caught a fox earlier. It’s actually pretty good. Should be done in a couple of minutes.”

“Nah, I’ll eat later.” Louis sat down at their suggestion. “We got a pretty good cook, back at our place.”

“Tell us about your community.” Henry grabbed a rusted metal skewer and poked at the fire, watching the flames leap higher. “Whereabouts are you settled?”

“About two miles deeper into the forest. An old boarding school, Ericsons. Most of our people were students there.”

“Students?” Steph’s brow furrowed, her eyes sparkling. “Does that mean…you’re all kids? Like, all around our age?”

“Pretty much.” Louis shrugged. “All but one of the teachers left us to die, and the one who stayed isn’t with us anymore. We’ve been surviving alone there since we were all…ten years old, at the most. Some younger.”

“Holy shit.” Steph whistled through her teeth.

“Language, honey,” Henry said reflexively.

“The only people who weren’t originally students are AJ and our leader Clementine.”

“She must be tough,” Henry said approvingly. “It takes a lot to run a community.”

“Yeah, I don’t envy her. She’s the toughest person I know.” Louis shook his head sentimentally. “She was actually the one who told me to scope you out. One of our hunters spotted you and reported back, and she thought it could be…beneficial to both of us if we extended an offer.”

“Shit.” Henry frowned. “Someone from your group saw us? That means we’re too conspicuous.”

“Look, don't take this the wrong way, but are you…running from someone?” Louis asked cautiously. “Because…well, if you need help…don’t be a stranger. We’d be more than happy. We have weapons, supplies, and fighting experience. We can help you.”

“What’s the catch?” Henry didn't confirm or deny anything.

“That’s negotiable. Trade, services, even just a general partnership.”

“Hm.” Henry looked at the fire. “We’ll…discuss it. Come back tomorrow. Same time. Uh, bring your Clementine, if you can. I’d like to speak directly to your leader.”

“Works for me.” Louis stood up, adjusting his jacket, and looked over at the two little ones, who were laughing at something together. “AJ, we’re heading back.”

“Okie dokie, boss!” AJ called back. “I’ll see you around, Emily.”

“Bye-bye!” She waved at him, giving Rosie one last pat. Rosie woofed and licked her face, sending her into peals of laughter.

“C’mon, kiddo.” Louis picked up Chairles from where it lay on the forest floor, whistling for Rosie to follow.

“They seemed nice.” AJ mused once they were out of earshot.

“Sure did.” Louis nodded. “But... _'seemed'_ isn't good enough. Think we can trust them?”

“I hope so. I guess we'll see tomorrow.” AJ frowned. “Emily didn’t talk very well, did she?”

“I don’t know, bud, you were the one who was talking to her for so long.” Louis shrugged. “Hey, it might just be a product of growing up in this world, you know? Clem told me she talked to you a lot when you were a baby. Maybe Emily didn’t have anyone to do that for her.”

“Maybe. Why do you think she’s got those scars?”

“I don’t know.” Louis sighed. “But they seemed scared of something or _someone._ Maybe…maybe they ran into a bad crew. Those scars looked deliberate, AJ. Someone hurt Emily because they wanted to.”

AJ looked sad. “I hope this turns out well.”

“Me too, AJ. Me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmmMMMM. what do you guys think? can we trust them?
> 
> Feedback is heavily appreciated! I love getting comments, it spurs me on to write every day!


	4. people are strange when you're a stranger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clementine and Louis negotiate with the newcomers. It goes well...until it doesn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> henry is a weird guy. you think he's gonna be friendly and then he's not, but then he is, but then he's not

“We should have told them to meet us at home,” Louis muttered, casting worried glances to Clem. “You’re struggling.”

“Lou, I’m… _fine.”_ Clem hissed through her teeth, sweat sticking her curls to her face, which was contorted in pain. With every step she took, her crutches would skid and clatter into rocks on the path, driving the wooden sticks into her armpits and rubbing them raw. She was going to have one heck of a bruise later on. “I can handle it.”

“Clem…” Louis implored.

 _“Louis.”_ She shot back sassily. “Seriously. We don’t know if we can trust them knowing our location yet. They could be part of a larger group.”

“Funny.” Louis smiled. “That’s what they said about us.”

“Anything I should know before we reach them?”

“Well…” Louis swallowed. “The littlest girl, Emily, she has scars. I, uh, wouldn’t stare if I were you.”

“Don’t we all?” Clem raised her eyebrows. “Scars are a way of life nowadays.”

“No, like…” Louis hesitated. “Intentional ones. They only cover one half of her body, all down her face and even down her arm. Some of them were healed, but some were even fresh, not scabbed over yet. Like someone took a knife, and…”

Clem’s face fell. “You’re not saying…someone deliberately hurt her? Do you think it was one of them? Her family, I mean.”

“I don’t know,” Louis said, unconvinced. “I mean, they all seem to be really protective of her. And she doesn’t seem scared of _them_ at all. More just…scared in general. But still, some of those scars looked really recent…”

“Shit.” Clem bit her lip. “Poor girl. How could you hurt a _child_ like that?”

“Beats me,” Louis said sadly. “She’s tiny, Clem. She’s about five or six, but you’d swear by her actions and the way she talked that she was, like, three.”

They walked in miserable silence for five minutes longer, mulling over the possible explanations for a girl that little to be covered in so many scars. None of them were good. Worry began brewing in Clem’s stomach. How could they know for sure that these people weren’t as bad as everyone else they’d come across recently? Emily may not have been visibly scared of her family, but that didn’t mean that they definitely didn’t hurt her. And if, like Louis had said, the scars were fresh enough that they hadn’t even scabbed over yet, they could probably be as recent as the past few days. How long ago did Aasim say he saw them again? Clem couldn’t remember.

“Oof!” Clem grunted as her crutches, once again, hit a rock. This time, though, she wasn’t paying attention, and she fell to the ground in a twisted heap. “Ow, fuck!”

“Clem!” Louis crouched at her side, a worried look on his face. “Are you okay? Did you hurt anything?”

“I’m fine.” Clem rolled her eyes. “My knee aches a litte, but…”

“Can you get up?”

“Yeah. Just…give me a second.”

Louis waited, but Clem made no sign of getting up. “Do you want a piggy-back?”

“No! I can do it.” She insisted. “What kind of impression will it give them if I show up to interrogate them…while being carried?”

“The same as if you were on crutches, sunshine. Come on, I’ll give you a piggy-back.”

Clem sighed reluctantly. “Ugh, fine, just…when we get close, put me down and I’ll walk the rest of the way.”

“You got a deal.”

* * *

“This is nice.” Clem said quietly, leaning her head against Louis’s. He hummed in agreement, his gait never faltering as he carried her at a steady pace through the woods. Clem’s crutches were tied to her back, so Louis didn’t have to carry those too. “A walk through the forest during fall. Very peaceful. And romantic.”

“It’s almost like a date.” Louis said, and she could hear the teasing in his voice. But it was shot through with something melancholy. “I…can almost pretend that the world is back to normal. Or…pre-walkers. Like I’m taking you on a real date.”

“Yeah.” Clem kissed his cheek. “Me too.”

“Only, uh, most dates don’t end in trade deals.” Louis joked.

“They do now.” Clem shrugged.

“Just another product of the world we live in, huh?” Louis glanced over his shoulder to give her a wistful grin.

Clem smiled back sadly, before her ears pricked up. “I hear voices.”

“Yeah, I think we’re here.” Louis gently let Clem slip from his back, letting her lean against him for support as he untied the crutches from her back. “Be careful, okay?”

“I’m always careful.”

Louis raised his eyebrows and glanced down at her stump, passing over her crutches.

Clem rolled her eyes and slipped the crutches under her arms. “That was a one-off.”

“Make sure it stays that way. You’re vulnerable at the minute.” Louis told her, dead serious. “Soon as Willy gets that prosthetic done, we’ll have you zipping around the courtyard in no time.”

Clem hesitated, looking at the floor. “Sounds great.”

“Clem?” Louis tipped his head. “What’s up?”

“Nothing.” She said quickly. Too quickly.

“Clem,” Louis placed his hand under her chin, tilting her face up to meet his gaze. “Tell me.”

“I…feel so useless.” Clem swallowed. “I know that you’re all fine with it. I _know._ But everyone is going to be picking up the slack for me until I…get better.”

“And we’re happy to do so.”

“I know, Lou.”

“It’s not just you, Clem. Violet won’t be able to help out for a while either, until we…find something suited to her skills. It doesn’t mean you’re useless. You’re still our leader, you know.”

Clem frowned. “I never wanted to lead. That’s too much pressure. I wanted it to be a democracy.”

“Well, let’s put it this way.” Louis kissed the tip of her nose. “It is a democracy. We all pull our weight, we all have our specific set of skills, and we all propose our own plans. All that’s different is that you get the final say.”

Clem looked unconvinced, but an understanding smile crossed her face at his attempts to make her feel better. “That’s…not what a democracy is, Lou. It’s the exact opposite of one, really.”

“I’m trying, Clem. Just… _don’t_ feel useless, okay? I know it’s not that easy, but…we couldn’t do this without you. _I_ couldn’t do this without you.”

“I’ll try.”

“Come on,” Louis stepped back, all too aware of the fact that they were just outside of the very camp they were looking for. The chit-chat was still going, meaning that luckily, they hadn’t been overheard. “I’m going to call out to them first, okay?”

Clem nodded, shifting her weight on her crutches. “Go for it.”

Louis cleared his throat. “Henry?” He called.

The chatter stopped. Clem glanced at Louis in worry.

“Uh, it’s me. Louis. I’ve brought our leader. To, you know, negotiate.”

The bush rustled.

“Anyone there?” He tried again. “Steph?”

“Louis?” A girl poked her head over the bush.

“Oh, good.” Louis heaved a sigh of relief. “I thought you’d been found or something.”

“Nah, we’re okay.” Steph stood there confidently, her hand on her hip. “We were wondering when you were going to show up. Your leader?”

“That’s me.”

“Huh.” Steph inspected Clem from head to toe. “Not what I expected.”

“What’s that meant to mean?” Clem bristled.

“Nothing bad,” Steph assured her, placing her hands up in surrender. “To be honest, I don’t know _what_ I was expecting. You’re a nice surprise, honestly. My dad is in the clearing. Mom and Emily have gone fishing, so it’ll just be the four of us.”

Clem nodded cautiously. “Okay…”

“No AJ today?” This question was directed at Louis.

“He’s on hunting duty,” Louis explained. “He wanted to come, but we don’t tend to swap shifts anymore.”

 _“Anymore.”_ Steph narrowed her eyes. “Shame. Emily was excited to see him again. No Rosie, either?”

“Rosie tends to go with whoever’s hunting,” Clem answered. “She’s good defence against walkers.”

“Makes sense.” Steph tilted her head as if deciding what to do, before beckoning them forward. “Well, come in, I guess. Shouldn’t leave my dad waiting.”

Henry was once again sat on a log beside the campfire, sharpening a military knife. It looked well-tended, surprisingly shiny for how long ago it must have been produced. Clem wondered where he got it. Good quality military weapons were hard to come by, nowadays.

“Dad,” Steph called out. “Louis is back. He brought his leader.”

“Good.” Henry looked up, his face carefully neutral. His eyebrows raised when he spotted Clem, his eyes flicking down to her stump. He inclined his head in greeting. “Nice to meet you. Clementine, right? Please, have a seat.”

Clem sat down cautiously on a log across the fire from the older man, biting back a sigh of relief at taking the weight off of her good leg. She placed her crutches on the ground next to her. Louis took a seat beside her, reassuringly rubbing the small of her back. “You know my name?”

“Louis mentioned you. Said you were in charge.”

“Did he, now?” Clem shot a glance at the boy in question, who was determinedly not making eye contact. She huffed a laugh, shaking her head. “All good things, I hope.”

Henry nodded. “Pretty much, yeah. We didn’t get a chance to talk much about you – I prefer to make judgements in person.”

“So do I.” Clem leaned forward, her eyes untrusting. “How long have you been here?”

“Three days,” Steph answered, taking a seat beside her father. “We arrived in the area three days ago.”

“And what are your plans?” Clem asked. “Are you staying here long-term, or are you moving on soon?”

“What is this, an interrogation?” Henry furrowed his brows.

“I’m just trying to keep my people safe.” Clem argued. “I need as much information as I can get.”

Henry snorted. “No offense, but you’re, what, sixteen? What do you know about leading people?”

“More than you’d think.” Clem retorted. “I’ve travelled a lot. Seen a lot of groups. I have experience.”

“So have we, Clementine. I’m just trying to see the full picture here.”

“Clem’s good at taking charge.” Louis supplied helpfully, touching her back gently to try and calm her. “If it weren’t for her, we wouldn’t have survived the past month.”

“Oh, right. Louis said you ran into the Delta a few weeks back.” Henry crossed his arms. “You led this group of yours into battle?”

“Yeah.” Clem frowned, wondering where this is going.

“And you didn’t lose anyone? You survived against the _Delta?”_

Louis swallowed. Clem bit her lip and looked at her stump. “No, we…we lost people.” She cleared her throat. “But…not as many as we could have done.”

“And your leg?” Henry asked bluntly. “What’s the story there?”

“Dad,” Steph touched his arm. “That’s not…”

“You really want to know?” Clem’s eyes flashed with anger at his tactlessness. “I got bit while saving my kid. He took the leg to stop the virus spreading.”

“Your kid?”

“You’ve met him already. AJ.”

“Oh.” Henry leaned back, surprised. “AJ…that little boy cut off your leg?”

“He was _supposed_ to kill me. That’s what I taught him, and it’s what he’s always known.” Clem shrugged. “But he wasn’t ready to say goodbye. So he took the leg, cauterized the wound, and took me back home. Our medic patched me up, and here I am. Still kicking.”

“Smart kid.” Henry said quietly, his face softening. “You know, I like that boy. He’s got courage.”

“You’re telling me.” Clem cast her eyes down, a small smile crossing her face. “We’ve been through some real shit together.”

“And he brought Emily out of her shell.”

“Emily…” Clem hesitated. “She’s your other daughter, right?”

“Yeah. She’s six.”

“Same as AJ, then. Or…near enough six, anyway. I don’t know how old he is, exactly.”

Henry looked intrigued. “How many people do you have?”

“Eight.” Clem cocked an eyebrow. “Why?”

“Just want to know what we’re up against.” Henry shrugged. “You have plenty of people. Young and strong. What could you gain from an alliance with us?”

Clem frowned, interlacing her fingers. “Alliances are always valuable, especially in this world.”

“That might be the case, but what did you have in mind?”

“Louis told me you’d caught a fox, which tells me you’re…proficient hunters. We’ve been struggling with hunting recently. There’s not much game about these days, not within the old safe-zone.” Clem cleared her throat, casting a glance to the blackened spit on the fire. “Now we’re getting into fall, and winter will be soon after that. Hunting will be much harder. We could strike up a deal for meat. Is there anything you need? Anything at all? Weapons? Protection?”

“We don’t need-“

“This could be good for us, Dad.” Steph hissed. “It couldn’t hurt to try.”

“How about shelter?” Clem offered. Louis blinked at her, shocked at the trust she was displaying. She looked determined. “We have a large campus with plenty of space for you and your family. It can’t be easy living in a caravan, all four of you crammed in together.”

“Dad.” Steph touched his arm gingerly. “She’s right.”

Henry gritted his teeth. “We’re _fine,_ thank you. We don’t need your protection.”

“Dad.” Steph pleaded.

“We can’t trust them, Steph.” Henry hissed. “No, we’re staying alone.” He stood up promptly. “We’ll move on in a few days. We weren’t planning on staying for long, anyway.”

“Just think about it,” Clem needled at him. “You don’t have to make a decision now.”

Henry paused. Something undiscernible crossed his face – a mix of weariness, regret, and hope. Clem knew that look. Clem knew that look all too well. It was the look she’d seen on her face every time she caught sight of her reflection in a cracked mirror, in a still lake, in a broken store window. Every time for the past eight years. The look she’d seen on AJ’s face every time she taped up his shoes again to stop his feet from bleeding, every time she handed him a can of food and told him that _he could have it, she wasn’t hungry_. Up until six weeks ago, she never thought that look would go away. Up until they found Ericsons. It was the look of someone who had been travelling for too long, and who wanted to settle down for good.

She tried again, struggling to a standing position on her crutches. “Wouldn’t you like somewhere to call home?”

“There’s no such thing as home.” Henry said quietly. “Not anymore.”

“Clem,” Louis touched her hip. “Come on. I don’t think we can convince him.”

Clem opened her mouth as if to say something but reluctantly closed it. “Fine.”

“You’re moving on?” Louis’s eyebrows furrowed.

“It’s not safe here.” Henry sighed. “We’re too out in the open.”

“Well…” Louis hesitated before holding his hand out to shake the older man’s. “Good luck out there.”

Henry glanced at Louis’s hand but made no move to shake it. “Thanks.” He muttered. Steph rolled her eyes and did it for him.

“Good luck to you too, Louis.” She said, seriously. “And you, Clementine. Sorry that we couldn’t have been any help.” She turned her head slightly to glare at her father.

Clem nodded wordlessly, shooting a glance to her boyfriend. Louis squeezed her shoulder. “Come on, sunshine. Let’s go home.” He said quietly. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Steph cock her head curiously at the pet name before her face relaxed in understanding. _Well, I had said that AJ was my girlfriend’s kid, hadn’t I?_

“I’ll…tell Emily that you came by.” Steph said awkwardly. “She’ll be sad that she missed you, but…”

“Thanks, Steph.” Louis’s mouth twitched in a brief smile. “Tell her we’re sorry we didn’t see her.”

“Will do.” Steph nodded firmly. She faltered, seemingly about to say something, before swallowing with a slight shake of her head. “Good luck.” She repeated feebly.

* * *

When they arrived back at the school, they were greeted with six expectant faces crowded around the campfire.

“What happened?” Ruby looked concerned. “You don’t look best pleased.”

“It was a waste of time,” Clem muttered in irritation. “They’re not staying in the area.”

“I don’t know who or what, but they’re running from something,” Louis noted, helping Clem lower herself onto the beaten-up old couch. He took a seat beside her, wrapping an arm around her hip so she was leaning into him. “They seemed…scared.”

Ruby shuddered. “Then, it’s a good thing they’re moving on. We don’t want to get caught up in shit like that again. Not so soon after…”

Clem huffed a laugh. “You’re damn right we don’t.”

If the group was to get caught up with another community, so soon after the Delta…

Clem didn’t think they’d make it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't worry, this isn't the last of these guys. not by a long shot. but...it may be a while before they show up again. i know it seems like they showed up super briefly with very little payoff, but i promise they're important to the story.
> 
> Feedback is heavily appreciated! I love getting comments, it spurs me on to write every day!


	5. so i cross my heart and i hope to die

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ruby gives Clem and Louis _the talk._ It gives them things to ponder on about themselves, and about their relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

> _Clem,_
> 
> _When you have a second, come and find me. I need to have a word with you about something pretty important. I’ll be in my room. Come ALONE._
> 
> _\- Ruby_

“Weird,” Clem muttered, scanning over the note again, wondering if she was missing something. Was it something to do with their medicine supply? If it was so important, why hadn’t Ruby mentioned it at dinner? The note had been left on Clem’s bedside table, and for some reason, she got the feeling that it was supposed to be discreet. Why did Ruby want to talk to her alone?

“What’s that?” AJ asked nosily, standing on his tiptoes to try and catch a glimpse of the note.

Clem shrugged. “I don’t know. Ruby wants to talk to me about something.”

“Do you think it's about Emily and Steph?” AJ perked up. Clem sighed. It had been a week since Clem and Louis had visited the caravan site. Henry, Martina, Steph, and Emily were long gone – Aasim had had a quick check on his last hunting excursion and had relayed the information to Clem immediately upon return. He had also been empty-handed, much to his frustration. Most of the game had begun to hibernate for the later months by this point, so Aasim believed that they’d be without meat of any kind for the next few months. It took him three days to brighten up from his bad mood.

“No, nothing to do with them, AJ.” Clem pursed her lips, thinking. “Maybe we need to go on a supply run for pain meds.” She glanced down at her leg and sighed. She’d been making her way pretty steadily through all of the painkillers they had, and nothing seemed to help. Phantom pain still plagued the empty space beneath her leg every time she moved. Clem hadn’t seen their medicine supplies recently, but Ruby had assured her they had it under control. Maybe she wasn’t telling the whole truth. No, for some reason Clem didn’t think that was it. It must have been something else.

“I’ll go,” AJ volunteered, sitting down on his bed, and swinging his legs.

“Hold your horses, kiddo.” Clem grinned, raising an eyebrow. “We don’t know if that’s what she wants yet.”

“Then I’ll come with you to talk to Ruby.” AJ insisted.

“No, Ruby wants to talk to me alone.” Clem shook her head, curious. “I don’t know what about, but she says it’s important.”

“Well, go find out.” AJ prompted her.

“Geez, when did you get so bossy?” Clem rolled her eyes. “I’m going, okay?” She ruffled AJ’s hair and exited the room, making her way down the hallway, slowly and laboriously on her crutches. Willy was still going on about making that prosthetic for her. He’d drawn up plans already, and Clem had to admit they were well-done. He had been asking her for permission to begin on her leg, but…she was stalling, and she didn’t know why.

“Ruby?” Clem cleared her throat and carefully tapped the door twice with a crutch, trying to keep her balance at the same time. “Are you in there?”

The door cracked open and Ruby’s dishevelled face appeared through the crack. “Oh, Clem!”

“You, uh, wanted to talk to me.” Clem cleared her throat. “Is now a bad time?”

“No, no,” Ruby insisted, opening the door wider and allowing Clem to pass by. “Come on in.”

Clem did as told, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. “You said this is important, right? Is it something to do with supplies?”

“Nothing like that,” Ruby informed her, wringing her hands awkwardly. She coughed, her face pinkening. “I don’t know how to begin. This will be, um, kind of an awkward conversation.”

Clem raised an eyebrow. “Go on…”

“So, uh…” Ruby hesitated and took a seat opposite Clem on the other bunk bed. “You and Louis are pretty serious about each other, right?”

“Yeah,” Clem blinked, trying to gauge where this conversation was going. “I guess we are. Why?”

“AJ told me that…you, uh, have been sharing a bedroom with him.”

“Oh.” Clem’s face went bright red. “ _No-no-no,_ I…I slept in his room _once,_ a week ago. We didn’t…we only…” She spluttered, waving her hands in protest.

“It’s none of my business.” Ruby swore. “I just thought I’d tell you to be careful.”

“Oh my god, _Ruby.”_ Clem covered her face in embarrassment. “I swear, it’s not like that. We just cuddled.”

“Right.” Ruby looked unconvinced. “But it’s totally, uh, normal, you know? We’re all hormonal teens, so when relationships start, it’s easy to, um…”

“Ruby.” Clem groaned. _“Seriously,_ we haven’t gotten to that point yet. Louis is too much of a sweetheart to…um, ask that of me.”

“I know he is, Clem. Just…” Ruby sighed and went over to her dresser, rifling through her medical supplies and pulling out a roll of small foil packets which Clem instantly recognised. “Give me peace of mind and take these, okay? Just in case. We don’t need any…you know, _accidents._ Not yet, not until we’re better prepared for them.”

Clem opened her mouth to protest but shut up at the stern look on Ruby’s face. “Fine,” she muttered, holding out her hand for Ruby to give her the condoms. Her face felt like it was burning. “But, we don’t…we didn’t…where did you even _get_ these? This was a _school.”_

“Mrs Martin kept some in her supplies.” Ruby shrugged. “Never thought we’d have a use for them, but…you know, she had them for a precaution.”

“This is _mortifying.”_ Clem mumbled, shoving the condoms into her pocket.

“Damn straight,” Ruby agreed, sighing. “It’s embarrassing for me too. That’s, um, all I wanted to talk to you about. Could you, uh, tell Louis that I want to have a word with him too, if you see him?”

“Sure thing,” Clem cleared her throat and pulled herself up on her crutches, eager to get out of this situation. “Well, um, thanks, Ruby.”

“Anytime,” Ruby said quickly, ducking her head.

Clem tapped her way along the hallway, wondering where she could even find Louis. It was getting late by this point. Maybe the piano room? No, she decided, she’d be able to hear him if that was the case.

To her relief, she found him in his bedroom, intently flicking through a book that she recognised from the music room, full of sheet music.

“Louis?” She leaned against the doorframe, an involuntary smile crossing her lips.

“Oh, hey, Clem!” He perked up, grinning at her, and held his arms out for a hug, tossing the book to the side. She obliged, shuffling over to him and letting herself fall into his lap with a happy sigh. Her lips pressed against his in a quick, chaste kiss.

“Hi, you.” She murmured as she pulled back, leaning her forehead against his cheek.

“Hey. How’s the leg?” He hesitantly placed a hand on her thigh, inches away from the stump, and began massaging comforting circles into her leg with his thumb.

Clem pulled a face. “The same.”

“Still hurting?”  
“Yep.” She exhaled in frustration. “Fucking phantom pain.”

“I wish there was something I could do to help.” Louis said miserably, pulling away so his eyes could meet hers. “I hate seeing you in pain.”

“You do help,” Clem insisted, tracing a finger down his cheek. “You help me just by being here.”

“That’s sweet, Clem, but you know what I mean.” Louis bit his lip. “I want to take the pain away.”

“Me too, Lou.” Clem nuzzled her face into his neck. “It’ll get better over time.”

“I know. Ruby says–”

“Oh!” Clem pulled back, remembering. “Ruby wants to talk to you.”

“To me?” Louis’s brow furrowed. “What about?”

“I think…” Clem faltered, blushing. “I think you should ask _her_ that.”

“Oh no,” Louis groaned, inspecting the awkward look on her face. “That’s not a good sign. Is it bad news?”

“Um, not really?” Clem grimaced. “It’s just, well, an awkward topic.”

 _“Oh.”_ A look of understanding overcame Louis’s face, which turned bright red. “Right.”

“Yeah.” Clem said dumbly, shifting off of his lap and onto the mattress.

Louis shook his head and got up, pressing a shy kiss to her cheek. “I’ll be right back, then. Will you…stay?”

“Of course.”

* * *

“I don’t need the talk, Rubes.” Louis rolled his eyes as Ruby flitted around him, awkwardly trying to put her concerns into words. Louis got the feeling that she had found it easier to talk about this stuff with Clem, woman to woman. “Seriously, I…get all of that stuff.”

“I know you do,” Ruby stressed, “And I know Clem does too. I just worry about you two.”

“Have you talked to Aasim about this?” Louis cocked an eyebrow. “Just saying, you’re dating, too…”

Ruby swallowed, her face bright red. “Not yet.”

Louis bit back a laugh. “Hypocrite.”  
“I will eventually!” Ruby swore reluctantly. “Just, um, not until we get to…that point.”

“But Clem and I aren’t at that point either.” Louis pointed out. “I won’t… _you know_...not until she wants to.”

“Louis.” Ruby held up a hand to stop him. “I don’t need to know when you’ll, um, _do it,_ I just want to know that you’ll be safe when you do.”

“Right.” Louis said awkwardly. “Of course.”

“Have you thought about what you’ll do? If she, you know, gets pregnant?”

“What is there to do?” Louis shrugged. “I mean…we don’t have access to an actual doctor to, you know, _deal with it_ if we need to. I mean, shit, I don’t know if Clem even wants kids in the future. She’s already been through it all with AJ, so…maybe she doesn’t want to do it again.”

Ruby hesitated. “Do _you?”_

“Do I what?”

“Do you want kids?”

Louis sighed, leaning forward and interlacing his fingers. “Well, yeah.” He admitted. “I thought I did. One day. But, uh, if it’s not in the cards for us, if it’s not something she wants, then…then I’m fine with not having any.”

“That’s really brave of you.” Ruby remarked, impressed.

“Clem means more to me than the possibility of any future kids.” Louis shrugged.

“I know.” Ruby’s face softened. “And she won’t admit it, but she thinks the same about you. If she was given the choice between saving you and AJ or saving the rest of us…I know what she’d pick.”

“You think?” Louis’s brows drew up. “She loves us all, Ruby.”

“I know she does, Louis.” Ruby acknowledged. “But she’ll always choose you. Unless it’s between you and AJ, then it might be a harder decision. But you’re…you know, you’re _it_ for her.”

Louis sighed and looked at his interlaced hands. “I’d always choose her, too.” He said, “Over anyone.”

Ruby nodded silently.

“Anyway,” Louis cleared his throat and stood up. “Thanks for, uh, the talk.”

“Oh, I almost forgot!” Ruby handed him something. “I already gave some to Clem, but, um, it doesn’t hurt for you to have some too.”

“Thanks, Ruby.” Louis bit back a laugh and pocketed the condoms. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow, Louis.”

Louis began walking back to his room, his mind spinning.

Did Clem expect… _that_ from him? Did he _want_ her to expect that from him? Louis couldn’t deny that he’d thought of her in _that_ way before. How could he not? She was pretty, vivacious, a complete badass, and perhaps most thrillingly, she was _his._ He’d never expected to be so completely in love with someone. But he wondered if she felt the same. He knew she loved him – she’d made that abundantly clear. But did Clem find him…attractive?

He sighed and shook those thoughts off before entering his room.

Clem looked up, sending him a soft, sweet smile. “How’d it, um, go?”

“Humiliating.” He told her, sitting next to her.

“I know, right?” She rolled her eyes and leaned her head onto his shoulder. Her eyes flicked up to his. “Somethings on your mind.”

“Well, yeah.” Louis coughed awkwardly. “Just, you know, thinking over what Ruby said.”

“Me too,” Clem confessed shyly, surprising him. “It’s, um, a big step.”

“Right.” Louis fumbled with his words. “I won’t, you know, push you into anything. I’m not…that type of guy.”

“Louis,” Clem reached up and tenderly touched his face. “I know you’re not. I never thought you’d push me into anything.”

Louis took her hand from his face and brought it to his lips, kissing her knuckles. “Sorry. I’m being awkward, aren’t I?”

“Well, a little.” Clem laughed softly. “But I am, too.”

They fell silent, relishing the sound of silence, only broken by each other’s quiet breathing.

“You should head back to your room,” Louis said suddenly. “It’s almost time to go to bed.”

“Yeah,” Clem got up reluctantly, sliding her crutches under her arms. She leaned down and kissed him. “I love you.”

“Love you, too.” He murmured, reaching up to touch her curls. “Sleep well, sunshine.”

“You too.” She paused in the doorway, her eyes softening. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

* * *

“Are you not going to tell me what Ruby wanted to talk to you about?” AJ asked sleepily. Clem could just about see his outline in the darkness, tossing about in his bed.

“No, goofball.” Clem huffed a quiet laugh. “It’s…grown-up stuff. Boyfriend-girlfriend stuff.”

“Oh.” AJ fell silent for a second. “Like the kissing stuff that you and Louis do?”

Clem spluttered. “Uh, I…I guess. But even more grown-up than that. AJ, don’t ask me about this yet, okay? And, um, don’t ask the others, either. You’ll learn when you’re older.”

“Huh.” AJ yawned, too tired to protest. “Okay, then.”

“Go to sleep, goofball,” Clem said softly. “It’s late, and you’re tired.”

“Mhm. Goodnight, Clem.”

“Night, kiddo. I love you.”

AJ let out a garbled mumble that might have been an ‘ _I love you too’,_ and his breathing slowed until he was practically snoring.

Clem smiled in the darkness and turned onto her side, allowing her thoughts to drift. But she couldn’t sleep. She frowned. Something didn’t feel right. An uncomfortable feeling settled in the pit of her stomach. Why did she get the feeling that something was going to go wrong? Clem sighed and squeezed her eyes shut. _You’re just paranoid, Clem,_ she told herself. _It’s been quiet lately, and you’re not used to that._

She’d only just began to fall asleep when the sound of glass shattering woke her up with a jolt.

_What the fuck?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is heavily appreciated! I love getting comments, it spurs me on to write every day!


	6. i'll be watching you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clem and AJ investigate the source of the noise.

Clem had only just began to fall asleep when the sound of glass shattering woke her up with a jolt.

_What the fuck?_

She shot up, clutching her bedsheets.

“Clem?” AJ’s groggy voice came from the opposite side of the room, a tinge of fear colouring his tone. “Did you…hear that?”

“I heard it.” Clem gritted her teeth and swung her leg out of bed, grabbing her left crutch and opening her bedside drawers, feeling around blindly for her gun. Her fingers closed around cold metal. She found it harder to walk when only using one crutch, but as long as she kept her left side supported, she knew she’d be fine. She had a feeling she’d need the gun.

“Where did it come from?” AJ wondered, jumping out of bed and keeping his eyes trained on the door.

Clem shook her head. “I don’t…”

_“Get the fuck off of me, asshole!”_

Clem’s mouth dropped open. “Violet.”

“Oh no…” AJ made to dash out of the room but Clem grabbed his collar.

“Don’t be hasty.” She hissed. “That could do more harm than good.”

AJ looked as if he wanted to argue but the steely look in Clem’s eyes must have stopped him, because he nodded curtly.

“Help me,” Clem ordered, leaning her right side on AJ’s shoulder. He cautiously kept one arm around her waist as they made their way down the corridor. _I fucking knew something was going to happen,_ Clem screamed in her head. _What now? Random bandits? More Delta? Or something even worse?_

“Louis!” AJ whispered. The boy in question was hesitating in the hallway, his face pale in the moonlight. He cast a horrified glance to Violet’s door, mouthing her name. Clem hobbled to his side, her mouth against his ear.

“I’ll go in there alone.” Clem said under her breath so only he could hear. She felt him stiffen and give the slightest of head shakes. She clutched the fabric of his shirt, pulling him closer. “It’s the only way. If we all go in there at once, we might spook whoever is in there, which could end up worse for Vi. Trust me, Louis.”

Louis pulled back and bit his lip, his face twisting in agony. “You could get hurt.”

“I’ll be fine.” She promised him, “Go and wake up the others. Get them to safety. We don’t know how many of them there are.”

Louis swallowed and nodded, pressing a desperate kiss to her cheek before edging down the hallway, careful not to make a noise.

“Stay out here,” Clem whispered to AJ, “And stay out of sight. If you think I’m in danger, back me up, okay?”

AJ nodded seriously, pulling his gun out of the waistband of his pyjama pants.

Clem hesitated before opening Violet’s door slowly, cursing as it creaked.

“Violet?”

Clem froze at the sight in front of her.

“Stop where you are, girly.” The man ordered, pointing his gun at her. “Drop the gun.”

Clem pressed her lips together wordlessly but did as he said, knowing that in the time it took for her to aim at him, he could have already shot both her and Violet.

Violet…

The girl was crumpled on the floor, her eyes wide and alert – but of course, unseeing – and a filthy old cloth wrapped tightly around her mouth. Her hands were bound similarly. Clem could see the beginnings of a dark purple bruise on her temple, surrounding a shallow gash that was dripping blood down her face. She looked terrified. Clem’s heart clenched.

“What do you _want_ from us?” Clem faltered.

The man barked a humourless laugh. “What do I want from you? Nothing.”

He was an ugly thing, his face lumpy and misshapen from the wear and tear of the past eight years. A bloodied green handkerchief was tied loosely around his neck, an embroidered emblem that she couldn’t recognise adorning the corner. He wore what looked like grimy military clothing, his utility belt torn with age. His dull brown hair, threaded with strands of grey, was balding and thinning, sticking up in every direction. And his eyes…his eyes were like two dirty chips of ice in his face. She shivered, cold flooding her body.

“Then why…?”

“You’re asking too many questions.” The man snapped, placing his foot on Violet’s stomach and pressing down. A muffled shriek of pain escaped from her covered mouth. “I have some questions for _you.”_

Clem swallowed. “Okay.”

“This your settlement?”

“Yes.” Clem answered, a tremor in her voice.

“How many of y’all are there?” He asked, and Violet writhed under his boot, shaking her head wildly. Clem bit her lip, hating herself for what she was about to do. Somehow, she knew that if she lied, it would end up badly for everyone.

“Eight.” She whispered.

“See, bitch?” The man snarled down at Violet. “Not so hard to tell the truth, eh?”

“Let her go,” Clem pleaded. “Please, just let her go.”

“I ain’t done yet.” He growled. “Have any strangers come through here? Say, three girls and a man? See, some of our people went missing a couple’a days ago, we’re just trying to find them.”

“No.” Clem said, keeping her face as expressionless as possible. She could lie about at least this much. As much as an asshole as Henry was, she had a feeling that these guys were bad news. “We haven’t seen anyone come through here recently. Just us.”

“You sure?” The man cocked his head. “One of them’s about your age. Pretty little piece of ass called Stephanie. Doesn’t ring any bells?”

“Definitely not.” Clem lied, biting down rage at the way he was describing Steph. “We do routine patrols of the area on our hunting trips. We’d have seen if anyone set up camp here recently.”

“Hm.” The man removed his boot from Violet’s stomach, and a strained puff of air escaped from her lungs. “I don’t know if you’re trying to protect them, or…”

“I told you, we haven’t seen them.” Clem insisted.

The man’s eyes narrowed and in a flash he had his arm wrapped around her throat, the cold barrel of his gun pressed against her forehead. She yelped, her crutch falling to the ground and her body hanging limply, supported only by the pressure around her neck.

“You ain’t lying to me, eh, girly?” He whispered, his breath sour-smelling. Clem struggled in his grasp, bile rising in her throat. “Because if you are…I can do _very_ bad things to you. I have ways of making you talk.” His fingers danced down her waist and Clem shuddered, kicking out with her good leg.

“Let her go.” A voice ordered from the doorway, and Clem cast her eyes over to see Louis standing there, her gun in his hands, trained right at this man’s forehead. A noise of relief escaped her throat. Louis was shaking, Clem noticed, but from the look on his face, he wasn’t shaking with fear. No, he was _pissed off._ AJ peered from behind him, his little face both worried and angry at the same time, and dashed over to Violet, unbinding her hands and mouth.

“Put the gun down, man.” The guy told him, an easy tone slipping into his voice. “Nobody needs to get hurt.”

“I’m not putting the gun down until you let my girlfriend go,” Louis snarled.

“Lucky man. She’s a pretty one.” The man noted, and Clem shuddered as she felt his hand still palming at her hip. “Sure there’s not enough to share?”

“Let. Her. _Go.”_ Louis growled through his teeth.

The man laughed and dropped Clem, allowing her to crumple unceremoniously to the ground. She moaned in pain as the tender flesh of her stump hit the splintering wooden floor.

“I let her go, son.” The man smirked. “Put the gun down.”

Louis hesitated, his confidence wavering now that Clem wasn’t in any immediate danger. His eyes met Clem’s, and that was all it took for the man to take advantage. A shot rang out.

“Louis!” Clem stretched her hand out helplessly as he flinched back, dark red spreading from his left shoulder and staining his sleeves. He fell against the wall, clutching his shoulder.

“Shit!” He hissed.

“What happened?” Violet croaked. “Is Louis…is he…?”

“Bastard,” Louis spat, shuddering in pain. Violet heaved a sigh of relief. He was alive, at least. And conscious.

The man laughed, his eyes fully trained on Louis now. Clem’s eyes glanced around the room, looking for something – anything – that could be of use. A glittering caught her periphery, and she looked to see broken glass on the floor from where Vi’s window had been smashed – _that was the noise that had woken her up,_ she realised, _and that was how this guy got in._ Clem shifted, dragging herself along the floor silently. Louis’s eyes flicked to her for less than a second, understanding. If he didn’t know better, it would look like she was crawling over to Violet. Her fingers closed around a shard of glass, and she gritted her teeth as the bite of the sharp edges tore through her hand, slickening with blood.

“Maybe you’ll be more receptive to talk,” The man taunted, reaching out and pressing his hand against where the bullet had entered. Louis bit back a scream as white-hot pain flashed through his shoulder. “Where are they?”

“Who?” Louis spat, his face sheet-white and sweating. “I don’t know who you’re talking about.”

“Don’t play dumb with me, asshole. _Henry._ Where is he?”

“Gone.” Louis hissed. “Long gone. They left last week.”

The man’s face twisted in anger. “You little–”

Clem took her chance, surging upwards and slicing his leg with the shard of glass. A howl of pain erupted from his throat and he fell down, grabbing at her wrist.

“You little bitch!” He roared, twisting her wrist to try and aim the shard towards her face. “I’ll kill you!”

Clem struggled in his grip, grimacing with effort. One of his hands reached for her throat, cutting off circulation.

“L-Lou…” She wheezed, writhing.

Another gunshot.

The man fell on her, blood gushing from a hole in his head, and she pushed him off, panting.

“Is he dead?” AJ asked, inspecting the gun in his hands. “I aimed for the head…”

“Yes.” Clem huffed. “Nice shot, goofball.”

“Clem?” Violet said uncertainly, stretching out her hand blindly.

“We got you, Vi.” Clem glanced at AJ. “Go get Ruby, okay? Everyone can come in, now. It’s safe.”

“The greenhouse.” Louis panted. “I…took them to the greenhouse. I thought they’d be safe there.”

Clem crawled over to him, collapsing on his chest. “You’re okay.” She whispered. “Louis, your shoulder…”

“Bullet went clean through.” He told her, holding up the bloodied shell that had landed on the ground. “Just needs bandaging up. Your hand?”

Clem bit her lip, glancing at the deep gouge across her palm. “Fine.” She lied.

“Clem,” He warned, his fingers lightly dancing over the wound. “It’s bleeding a hell of a lot. Don’t lie to me.”

“It stings a bit, but it’s okay.”

Louis sighed, knowing he wouldn’t get anything more out of her, and craned his neck to look at Violet.

“Vi, how’s your head?”

“Tender.” She wrinkled her nose as her fingers probed along her forehead. “Sticky. Is it bleeding?”

“Yeah, just a little. Vi, what _happened?”_

“I don’t know.” Violet’s voice became distressed. “I was sleeping, and…my window smashed, and there were two voices, and…”

“Two voices?” Clem cursed. “Shit, the other one must still be out there.”

“They were asking me about those people from the caravan…I tried to say I didn’t know but they tied me up. I think the other guy climbed out of my window when he heard you coming down the hallway. Your crutches make a lot of noise.” Violet told Clem apologetically.

Louis swore and got to his feet, walking over to Violet’s broken window and peering out. “I can’t see anyone. Maybe he’s gone.”

“What if he comes back?” Violet whispered.

Clem shook her head, but paused as a red blinking light caught her eye, coming from the intruder’s pocket. “What…?”

“What is it?”

“I don’t…” She crawled to his body, pulling out something black, plastic, and familiar. “He has a walkie-talkie.”

“Fuck.” Louis crouched by her. “Is it…?”

Clem cursed as she heard a click. “Shit, it was on! The person on the other end just hung up!”

“The other guy.” Louis gritted his teeth. “Dammit, he was listening in?”

“Seems so.” Clem nodded gravely and hauled herself up by the ladder on the bunk bed. Louis handed her the crutch on the floor. She winced as it rubbed against her wounded hand.

Footsteps sounded down the hallway and Ruby burst into the room, Aasim on her heels. “Are y’all okay? What happened.”

Clem sucked her teeth. “We need a group meeting. Aasim, round the others up into the music room. We’ll be down once Ruby has looked at our wounds.”

Aasim nodded. “You got it. Clem, what happened?”

“Later.” She promised him. “So we’re not repeating ourselves.”

* * *

“They wanted the caravan group?” Omar crossed his arms, concerned. “This is real bad.”

“We were right to not insist on them coming here.” Ruby whispered, wiping a damp cloth along Violet’s bloodied forehead. She had already bandaged up everyone else by this point. “If they were here, who knows what would have happened?”

Louis swallowed. “I’m worried about them.”

Clem squeezed his hand with her good hand. “I’m sure they’re fine. But it’s important that we figure out how to prevent another attack like this.” She glanced around at her people, intently hanging on her every word. “Any ideas?”

“I’ll cut back the ivy on the outside.” Willy offered. “That must be how they got into Violet’s room. If we trim it, they won’t be able to climb up again.”

Clem nodded. “Yes, that makes sense. Are you okay to get started on that tomorrow, Willy?”

Willy hesitated. “I can, but…it’d mean you’d have to wait longer for me to be done with your new leg.”

“That’s perfectly fine.” Clem insisted. “Anything else?”

Omar leaned forward. “We need to reinforce the windows. Violet’s window needs to be boarded back up, and to be honest, I’d feel more comfortable if the windows had bars, or something.”

“You’re right.”

“More patrolling.” AJ interjected. “If there’s still a bad guy out there, we need to keep an eye out for him.”

Ruby raised her hand. “What about sleeping arrangements? I…don’t feel comfortable with any of us sleeping alone anymore. We’re too vulnerable on our own. We should make sure that there are at least two people to a room.”

“Yeah.” AJ tugged at Clem’s hand. “Remember? First rule of survival is never go alone.”

Clem paused. “I guess so. How will we work this?”

“I’ll share with Violet.” Ruby suggested. “She’s most helpless here – um, no offence, Vi.”

“Is that okay with you, Vi?” Louis asked the blind girl.

“I guess I have no choice.” Violet shrugged.

“Aasim and I can share a room.” Omar crossed his arms.

“I’ll bunk with AJ.” Willy declared.

Clem nodded, wordless. She glanced at Louis.

He touched her back gently. “Guess that means we’re sharing then, sunshine.”

“Okay,” Clem sighed. “So, that’s sorted. We start with reinforcements tomorrow.”

“I’ll take first watch,” Aasim proposed. “Keep an eye out for the other guy, wherever he is.”

“Sounds good.” Clem hesitated. “Right. We’ll lock up Violet’s room for the night, and get some rest. Ruby, can you go and grab her stuff?”

“Got it.” Ruby grasped Violet’s wrist. “C’mon, hon.”

The Ericson kids dispersed one by one until it was only Louis and Clem left.

Louis squeezed her hand. “Are you okay?”

“No.” The stress of the night washed over Clem, as though a bucket of ice had been dumped on her head. “That was fucking terrifying.”

“Damn right.” Louis swallowed. “When I saw that guy holding you… _touching_ you…it was like I saw red. I was ready to fucking shoot him, but I couldn’t. Because he was holding you, and I didn’t want to put you at risk.”

“I know.” She exhaled shakily and rested her forehead on his shoulder. “I have a bad feeling about this, Lou.”

“Me too.” He kissed her forehead. “But…there’s no use dwelling on it tonight. Come to bed.”

Clem stayed silent, allowing him to take her hand and lead her to his – _their_ – room. But even as she lay curled up in his arms, she couldn’t shake the feeling that they hadn’t seen the last of these people.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is heavily appreciated! I love getting comments, it spurs me on to write every day!


	7. the story behind all of my favourite scars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clementine tells Louis the history of each wound on her body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sometimes you just want some soft filler content, n i wanted to write my babies being cuties.

“Ow, _fuck!”_

“Sorry, sorry, sorry!” Clem chanted under her breath, withdrawing her hand – and subsequently, the gauze – from the open bullet wound in Louis’s bare shoulder. His green shirt lay on the floor, forgotten. Sounds of voices wafted in from outside – the others were out in the courtyard, allowing the two lovers this little bit of privacy for Clem to work on bandaging his shoulder. “I hate this!”

“I know.” He inhaled sharply through his nose. “You’re fine, babe. Keep going, this needs to be done. Doctor Ruby’s orders, remember? Change the dressing three times a day.”

“Mm.” Clem made a noncommittal noise in the back of her throat, her hand trembling. “I’m trying not to hurt you.”

“You’re doing great,” He assured her. “You’ve done this before, right?”

“Yeah, on _myself.”_ Clem pointed out.

“Exactly,” Louis chuckled. “So doing it on someone else should be no problem.”

“Yeah, but I actually _care_ about making sure _you_ heal right,” Clem muttered under her breath, but Louis heard her anyway.

“Hey!” He pressed a smooch to her lips, ignoring her flustered protests. “No more of that. No more… _defeatist_ talk, okay?”

“I can’t help it,” She objected faintly, “Eight years of surviving alone have drilled defeatism into me.”

“Yeah, well, you’re not alone anymore.” Louis countered. “So no more pessimism.”

“How could I ever be pessimistic when I’m with you?” Clem huffed playfully. “Louis, the eternal optimist.”

“That’s right.” Louis said proudly. “You have no excuse.”

Clem rolled her eyes and tightly wrapped the gauze around his shoulder, tying a neat knot despite her quivering fingers. “Done. Put your shirt back on,” She mumbled, cheeks pinkening.

“Why, am I distracting you?” He flashed her a cheeky grin. “I think I’ll keep the shirt off, actually. It’s warm tonight. Actually, that’s a lie. It’s fucking freezing. But I’m enjoying your blush too much.”

 _“Louis.”_ A hint of pleading entered her voice.

 _“Clem,”_ He mimicked her tone, snickering lightly and grabbing his shirt from the floor. “Fine, fine, I won’t torture you with my beautiful body for any longer.”

“Thank you,” Clem murmured, absentmindedly scratching at the raised flesh of the long-healed dog bite on her arm, dragging up her sleeve to unmask her skin.

Louis’s eyes followed her hand, and his brow furrowed. “Hey, don’t do that.” He lightly grasped her arm. “Clem?”

“Hm?”

“What’s the story here?” He traced his fingers over the scar that marred her forearm.

“Oh.” Clem shrugged, an unfathomable expression on her face and a careful tone to her voice. “Dog bite. I had to stitch it up myself.”

“Damn.” Louis whistled under his breath. “Sometimes I forget how tough you actually are. You’ve been through some real shit.”

Clem smiled sombrely. “It’s not even the worst of my scars.”

A frown crossed his mellow-brown face. “It’s a nasty old mark, though. You’ve had worse?”

“Mm.” Clem nodded slightly. “I’m covered in them. All over.”

“Oh.” Louis sighed sadly, his eyes tracing over her exposed forearm. Sure enough, faint marks covered almost every inch of visible skin. He reached out. “May I?” He hesitantly grasped the hem of her shirt – _his_ shirt, he corrected mentally, as she had claimed one of his comfortable old t-shirts to sleep in.

Clem stilled, her eyes landing on his hand – slender, elegant, the colour reminiscent of the acorns that littered the forest floor in the fall – delicately holding the worn black cotton between his long fingers. Did she dare let him? To let him see the full extent of her scars, to show that side of herself…what thoughts would cross his mind? Would he be disgusted? Upset? Or perhaps even worse, _pitying?_

At her silence, Louis removed his hand, taking it as a refusal. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have…that was awkward of me to ask. I didn’t mean it in a, you know, um, _sexual_ way or anything. I just…”

“No, I know.” Clem paused. “I wear long sleeves for a reason.” She said quietly, hanging her head. Her curly black hair, freed from her hair-ties, tumbled over her shoulders and draped in front of her face, concealing her expression from his view.

“I get it.” Louis moved his hand to hold hers, squeezing her fingers reassuringly. “I’m sorry I asked.”

“No,” Clem protested, her head drooping even more. “That’s not what I…that’s not what I’m saying.”

“What _are_ you saying, Clem?”

“I’m saying I…” She raised her head, her ochre eyes meeting his, and she swallowed nervously, her tongue darting out to wet her dry lips. “I wear long sleeves for a reason, _but_ I trust you. I trust you to see…you know, to see _me.”_

Louis didn’t say anything, merely tilting his head to the side, his face softening. Clem exhaled shakily and tugged the faded black shirt over her head, shivering as the cool autumn air hit her figure. The white cloth of her sports bra was the only thing breaking up the sea of pale fawn skin.

Louis’s breath caught in his throat and escaped him in a loud whoosh of air. Did she even _know_ how beautiful she was?

He slowly, hesitantly, raised his hand to rest against her shoulder blade, where a faint, puckered wound, long healed over, blemished the skin. “A bullet wound?”

“Yeah. We match.” She whispered.

“What…what happened there?”

She shrugged one shoulder half-heartedly. “People who I considered friends betrayed me and stole my stuff. I was going to let them go, but one of them caught me off guard and shot me. I was only eleven.”

Louis delicately traced a line from the scar to where he could feel her thumping heart. His face twisted in an enraged grimace. “If they aimed just a little closer inward…”

“I know.” Clem shuddered. “Don’t make me think about it. The pain…the pain was some of the worst I’ve ever felt.”

“Worse than your leg?”

Clem shook her head. “No. Nothing is ever going to come close to that.”

Louis trailed his finger down her arm. “What’s this?” He traced the looping brand of the New Frontier. His eyes were sad. “It looks like a cattle brand or something.”

“You’re not far off.” A humourless chuckle escaped her lips. “That’s the symbol of the New Frontier. It was…kind of a ritual. You had to be branded to test your loyalty. Not that loyalty would get you anywhere.” She hissed through her teeth, memories flashing through her head.

_“The medicine…that’s the last of it. It’ll be wasted on AJ.”_

_“He’s gonna die anyway! That waste…that’ll cost someone’s life down the road.”_

_“I’m sorry, Clem. You brought this on yourself.”_

_“He stays. Can’t take him with you. That ship has sailed.”_

_“Let him go, Clem. He’ll only drag you down out there.”_

Louis touched her cheek gently. “What…what did the New Frontier do?”

“They took AJ from me.” She sighed heavily and rested her forehead on Louis’s good shoulder, hiding her face. “They let me think he was dead for months.”

“I’m sorry.” He wrapped his arms around her back, pulling her close. One of his hands came up to caress her hair. “That must have been hard for you. I can’t imagine…you without AJ. You’re like a package deal.”

Clem nodded wordlessly, swiping her undereye with her thumb to get rid of the tears she could feel building.

“I’m sorry.” He repeated softly, kissing her bare shoulder.

“It was three years ago.” Clem shrugged, cracking a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes, a quick upturning of lips that was gone in a flash. “I’m okay, now.”

Louis didn’t look convinced, but he nodded. “I love you.”

“I know.” Clem’s smile turned genuine and sweet, a lopsided shy little thing.

“Don’t Han Solo me, Clem.” He nudged her playfully. “Say it back.”

“Mmm…” Clem pretended to deliberate for a second before sticking her tongue out at him. “No.”

“Clementine…” He shot her a warning look, a dangerous glint in his eyes. “Tell me you love me.”

“Fine.” Clem leaned in until their lips were a mere inch apart. “I love…” She paused, her breath misting over his face. His hands trembled, itching to grab her waist so he could smash his lips into hers in a passionate kiss. “I love…Gabe.” She quickly pecked his lips and pulled back, a wide grin on her face. “Sorry! I had to.”

Louis shook his head in disbelief. “Okay, now you’re in for it.” He growled teasingly, surging forward and pinning her to the mattress. Clem let out a quiet squeal of laughter as his fingers began to roam her bare waist, searching for a weak point. “I’m going to tickle you to death! Unless, of course, you yield.”

“I shall not yield!” Clem spluttered between giggles, writhing beneath his fingers. “I’ve survived amputation, I can survive a tickle – _ah!_ – a tickle fight!”

 _“Surrender!”_ He shifted so he was straddling her legs, pinning her under him. Her face turned a lovely shade of red at their position, but he didn’t back off, enjoying the thrill that jolted through him at her expression. “You won’t win this battle, Queen Clem!”

“I certainly will, King Louis!” She struggled, swallowing down a hearty shriek of laughter as his hands teased past a particularly sensitive place on her stomach. “You’ll never defeat me!”

“I do believe I already have.” He grinned down at her cockily. “Give up now, your Highness, and perhaps your later punishment won’t be so dire.”

 _“Fuuuuuuck!”_ She groaned, shivering. His fingers dipped lower, unintentionally gracing the waistband of her gym shorts, but he quickly and respectfully moved his hand back upwards to avoid overstepping her boundaries. She loved him for that, for as much as a loud voice in the back of her mind wanted him to continue, she didn’t feel ready for… _that._ But damn, she was considering it. “I will not cede…!”

Louis laughed and leaned down, kissing her fiercely. His fingers slowed to a stop, his hands resting on her hips and pulling her closer to him. Her mouth met his eagerly, and she opened her mouth slightly to deepen the kiss, her tongue delicately tracing his lips. A shudder ripped through his body and his hands tightened on her hips, clutching her like a lifeline. He crushed his lips against hers, allowing his tongue to slip into her mouth and causing a delicious shiver to ripple down her spine.

If he died here, he’d be happy.

A small, contented sigh escaped her lips, and he pulled back to press fleeting kisses down her cheek, down her neck, down her shoulder, down, down, _down…_

Until it came to rest just slightly above her belly button, and he blew a loud raspberry onto her stomach.

“Louis!” Clem squealed, writhing in her mirth. “You asshole! I thought you were about to…”

“Hmmm?” He hummed, a smile crossing his lips. “What did you think?”

A squeak died in Clem’s throat, and she weakly raised her arm to cover her blushing face. “You _know_ what I thought. Stop… _teasing_ me like that.”

“But it’s so fun!” He whined, crawling back up so their faces were level, and kissing her cheek. “Though, I’m a nothing if not chivalrous. If my lady commands it, I’ll stop.”

“You’re such a weirdo.” Clem murmured half-heartedly, wrapping her good leg around his waist, and pulling him closer. “But you’re my weirdo.” Her lips sought his once more, but he only allowed her the briefest of kisses before pulling away. She groaned quietly. “No _fair.”_

“As much as I would love to continue,” Louis kissed her shoulder and rolled off of her, onto his back. His eyes bored into hers, warm and inviting, “And trust me, I _really_ would love to…I don’t think it’s the right time for us. You’ll thank me for stopping, later.”

Clem grumbled under her breath, but ultimately knew he was right. She wasn’t ready, and maybe he wasn’t, either. She reached over and grabbed her shirt, pulling it over her head.

“Louis?” She shuffled closer, nuzzling her nose into his shoulder.

“Mmh?” He made a lazy noise in the back of his throat, squeezing her waist. “What’s up?”

“I love you.”

A mischievous grin crossed his face, and Clem realised her mistake. He was about to turn the tables on her.

“I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so...this isn't a guarantee if y'all are up for it, because it depends on how comfortable i am with it at the time of writing, but...how do you guys feel about smut?
> 
> a) smut is great, include it in the main story with a content warning  
> b) smut is okay, but not in the main story so add it as bonus chapters elsewhere  
> or c) no smut at all pls, only hint at it
> 
> let me know :)


	8. i must take the baby steps till i'm full grown, full grown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Willy is fed up with Clem dragging her metaphorical heels and decides it’s time for an intervention.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> maternal clem makes me soft :-;

“I think we should expand the safe zone.” Clem furrowed her brow and nodded along, deep in thought as Aasim proposed new ideas for hunting. “There’s nothing out there for us, Clem.” He told her, crossing his arms “We’re getting into colder months, and all the animals are going into hiber-”

“Clem!”

“Jesus, Willy!” Clem jumped as the boy popped out of seemingly nowhere. “You can’t be jumping out at people like that, kiddo.” He frowned at her, placing his hands on his hips in such a serious manner for such a little kid that she had to stifle her laugh. “What’s up?”

“You’re stalling!” He admonished, pointing at her accusatorily.

She blinked, cocking her head to the side. “Uh, what am I stalling exactly?”

“Your new leg.” Willy insisted, waving his hand at her stump. “Why haven’t you let me start on it yet?”

“Ah.” Clem grimaced, shooting a pleading glance at Aasim, who let out a rare chuckle.

“Nope.” He shook his head, stepping away from her and Willy. “Sorry, Clem. You’re on your own. You won’t change his mind at this point.”

“Aasim!” Clem whined, but he was gone. She sighed and turned to Willy, who had a determined look on his face.

“I have the plans drawn up, Clem! All I need to do is get some measurements and you’ll be back on your own two feet in no time!” He rocked on the balls of his feet excitedly. “Doesn’t it sound cool? You can help with hunting again, and-and patrol, and-”

“Willy,” Clem winced, touching her forehead. “Slow down.”

“But-” Willy’s face dropped at the uncomfortable look on her face. “Are you…okay?”

“I’m fine,” Clem said, but her tone was unconvincing. She glanced at the main steps of the school. “Hey, come and sit with me for a second, okay?”

She hobbled over to the steps, sitting down with a grunt and patting the space next to her. Willy joined her, glancing up at her with worried eyes.

“Clem?”

Clem sighed and wrapped her arm around him, pulling him into a hug. He wriggled slightly in feigned childish protest before settling down and leaning against her, resting his head on her shoulder. Clem bit her lip, deciding on her words.

“I know I’ve been stalling.” She admitted. “I’m just…scared, that’s all.”

A confused expression overcame his face. “What are _you_ scared about?”

“I don’t know.” Clem shrugged with one shoulder, stroking her hand through his wispy brown hair in a maternal fashion. “It’s weird. I just…don’t want to be any more of a burden.”

“But you won’t be!” Willy insisted. “When you learn how to walk again, you’ll be able to help out just as much as you did before! You’ll be able to leave the school without anyone needing to take care of you.”

 _“When_ I learn how to walk,” Clem said quietly. “Willy…what if I don’t?”

“Huh?”

“What if I never adapt to walking on a peg-leg?” Clem swallowed, removing her arm from his shoulders and clasping her hands together on her lap, fidgeting. “I might never learn how to walk again. Or…it might take a long time. I don’t know. I don’t want to burden you guys for that long. I can work with crutches. I can still get around, help Omar with preparing food and cleaning the weapons for Aasim. I can do all of that sitting down. But a prosthetic…I don’t know if I can handle it.”

“You’ll learn.” Willy grabbed her hand, squeezing it comfortingly. “Even if it takes twenty years. We’ll be there for every step, okay? So…don’t worry about being a burden. I’ll help you walk!”

 _“You_ will?” Clem raised an eyebrow, smiling gently.

“Yep!” Willy nodded proudly. “I’ll be your, um, caretaker.”

“I have no end of caretakers, Willy.” A small laugh escaped her lips. “I doubt AJ and Louis will even give you a chance to help out.”

“But I want to help.” Willy insisted. “You do so much for me, for _all_ of us, that I want to return the favour.”

“That’s sweet.” She hugged him again, kissing his forehead. “You’re a good kid, Willy. Thank you for doing this for me.”

Willy smiled a gap-toothed grin. “So, can I take your leg measurements? I’ll have your leg done within the week; I promise!”

Clem hesitated before nodding. “Okay.”

“Sweet!” He rocketed up onto his feet. “I’ll go and get my measuring tape! Stay here!”

Clem huffed a laugh as he raced inside, where she knew he’d find the workshop and his supplies. A small whine sounded from behind her.

“Hey, Rosie.” She replied softly, holding out her hand for the pit-bull to sniff in greeting. Rosie yawned and settled by Clem’s side, her stocky little form resting next to her hip. Clem absently brushed her fingers through Rosie’s fur, scratching her above the ears. Rosie shuddered happily and licked Clem’s hand, nuzzling her cold, wet nose into it.

“Got it!” Willy appeared, hopping down the steps two at a time until he reached her. Bundled up in his hands was a mess of pencils, paper and other materials. “Stretch out your leg!” He commanded.

Clem giggled, doing as she was told. “Okay, boss.”

Willy carefully measured the length of her good leg from her hip to her ankle onto a large piece of paper using his measuring tape, marking the paper where her knee joint was. He compared it to her stump leg to ensure that the proportions lined up, nodding in satisfaction, and labelling his scrawled diagram accordingly.

“Can I trace your foot to make sure I get the size right?”

“Sure.” Clem pulled off her worn old boot, placing her foot onto the piece of paper and allowing him to sketch around it. She bit back a giggle as the pencil brushed past her toes, hitting a particularly ticklish spot. “Can I…see your design? For the leg?”

Willy paused, lifting the pencil from the paper. “If you want,” He mumbled bashfully, scratching the back of his neck. “It’s, um, just a quick little thing I put together. It’s nothing too impressive.”

“I’d like to see it,” Clem told him, and he nodded, pulling the diagram from the bundle of papers he had brought and handing it to her.

“It’s nothing special.” He said quickly. “Just a simple design, really.” 

“Willy…” Clem’s fingers traced over the scrawled lines, her eyes widening. “This is _really_ good!”

“Really?”

“Of course! Can you walk me through it? How are we going to attach it?”

“Sure!” Willy’s eyes brightened and he shuffled closer. “So, um, I have some of Mitch’s old stuff, and I thought…we could reuse one of his belts and shorten it to make a strap to tie it to your leg.” He pointed to a sloppily written paragraph, which was indeed figuring out how to use a belt to attach the prosthetic to her stump. “I’d have to test it, but I’m sure we can get it to work. The whole prosthetic would be two pieces, with a joint here, where your foot would be.” He pointed again. “Of course, the new foot wouldn’t work at all, but using a joint there would mean you can walk a lot easier. If it was all one piece, you’d be kind of stuck with the foot in one position, right?”

“Sounds good to me.” A smile crossed Clem’s face as Willy animatedly described every aspect of the diagram, getting more excited by the second.

“And I thought we could sew together some sort of cushion to go on top here, where it comes into contact with your leg. I know that your crutches hurt your arms sometimes, and I think a new leg would do the same, if it didn’t have any padding.” He traced the top of the diagram. “Ruby said she’d teach me how to stitch when she has the time.”

“No need. I’ll teach you how to stitch.” Clem offered.

“You will?”

“I’ve stitched up enough wounds that I know how to do it. It’s a handy skill to have,” She shrugged. “I could probably do with teaching everyone how to sew.” Her face fell. “And shoot. God knows we all need to know how to shoot.”

Willy looked at his hands, shuffling awkwardly. “Clem?”

“Yeah?”

“Are those…are those raiders coming back? Not the Delta. The new ones. The ones that broke into Vi’s room.”

Clem bit her lip. “I don’t know. Maybe.”

Willy nodded solemnly. “But we have to make sure we’re prepared for if they do, right?”

“Right.” Clem agreed. “Once I’m on my feet again, AJ and I will organise some shooting lessons. Speaking of preparations…well done on cutting back the ivy on the outside.” She nodded approvingly. While the work hadn’t exactly been _neat_ , it was cut back enough that nobody could climb up to the windows any more – they’d tested, asking AJ to give it a go. Not even the youngest kid had been able to climb up. And, well, while aesthetics didn’t really matter anymore, Clem actually preferred how it looked now, with the old brick peeking through more. It gave her a rustic feel of home. Clem sighed. She knew that once those bars were on the windows, they’d hopefully be safer, but…she didn’t want to feel like they lived in a prison. It was disheartening enough that they lived right next to a smouldering pile of rubble. Maybe one day they could fix it up? No, that was far beyond any of their skill-sets.

“Clem?” Willy cocked his head to the side.

“I’m just thinking about reinforcements.” She told him. It wasn’t exactly a lie. “Hey, how are you liking sharing a room with AJ?”

Willy brightened up. “It’s cool! I have some old comics stashed away, and it’s been a lot of fun reading them with AJ. But we’re running out of new ones to read.”

“I’ll let everyone know to pick up some more comics if they find any while on a supply run.” Clem promised. “God knows we need some form of entertainment now, especially for you and AJ.”

“I wish we had power.” Willy frowned. “There’s an old TV in the headmaster’s office…it’d be fun to be able to watch movies again. I can’t remember watching any.”

`“I can imagine.” Clem sighed. “You were only, what, four when this whole thing started?”

“Something like that. I think I turn thirteen soon. I’ll have to ask Aasim.”

“Yeah?” Clem raised her eyebrows. “Why would you have to ask Aasim?”

“He has a calendar.” Willy explained. “At the start of all of this, he started tracking the days, in case some adult found us and wanted to know how long we’d been stuck here. And…he just kept doing it. He thinks he’s slipped up a few times and missed the days, but does it really matter anymore? He keeps track of everyone’s birthdays, so you and AJ should probably let him know when your birthdays are. We always have a big celebration, Omar makes extra food, and we play games. It’s kind of the only time Aasim lets us mess around like that.”

Clem looked at the ground. “I don’t actually know when AJ’s birthday is. Some time in winter, that’s all I know.”

“Well, pick a day.” Willy shrugged.

“Wait, hang on.” Clem touched her forehead, mumbling to herself. “Luke said his birthday was November 16th…and AJ was born three days before that, so…AJ’s birthday is the 13th of November.”

“Luke?”

“An old friend.” A sad frown crossed her face. “I’m…sure you can guess what happened to him.”

“I’m sorry.” Willy hesitated. “When’s your birthday?”

“October 26th.” Clem replied.

Willy’s eyes lit up. “I think October started yesterday! I’ll have to check with Aasim, but I think your birthday is this month!”

“Yeah?” She smiled faintly. “I haven’t celebrated my birthday in a long time. Not since…before.”

“We’ll make sure to celebrate.” Willy promised, patting her hand. “In fact, I’m going to let Aasim know now!”

He leapt to his feet, scooping up all of his supplies and running inside. Clem laughed once again at his exuberance. Rosie lifted her head lazily to watch him go before plopping her head back down, falling asleep again.

“His enthusiasm _inspires_ me.” A voice caught her ears, and she looked up to smile at Louis, who was sauntering towards her with a huge grin on his face. Clem patted the step next to her for him to sit down. He gladly accepted, leaning over to kiss her cheek. “Hey. Missed you.”

“You’ve been here the whole time.” Clem rolled her eyes and playfully shoved his shoulder.

“But I miss you every second that I’m not with you.”

Clem snorted. “You’re such a dork.”

Louis grinned teasingly. “I sure am.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i believe that in canon, the apocalypse began in 2003 to coincide with the comics debut, but im instead going to make the apocalypse begin in 2012 to go with the games release. 2012 just sounds right to me.


	9. sing us a song, you're the piano man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clem frets about the new raiders. Ruby organises another hootenanny to take her mind off of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soft clem/ruby friendship. gals bein pals, thats what i like to see.
> 
> also let violet have some goddamn chicky nuggies okay
> 
> of course, piano man is by the lovely billy joel, if y'all want to listen to music while reading this chapter...for obvious reasons that's the soundtrack to this chapter lol

“Weapons…gas…” Clem scratched her head with the end of her pencil, muttering under her breath. “Could probably do with a run for hygiene products, too.” She wrinkled her nose as she touched her greasy hair. “Shampoo. We need shampoo. And as much bottled water as we can find.” She gritted her teeth as a wave of pain throbbed through her head.

“You’re worried.”

Clem looked up from the supply list she was working on and smiled wanly. “Oh. Hey Ruby.”

Ruby crossed her arms. “You’re worried.” She repeated.

“About what?” Clem sat up straight, frowning at the other girl.

“The new raiders.” Ruby took a seat next to Clem and patted her arm comfortingly. “I know you’re burning yourself out, hon.”

“I…” Clem hesitated, furrowing her brow. She was weary, that much was true, but she could easily attribute that to eight years of surviving in this world. “I’m fine. I’m worried, sure, but I’m not…burning myself out.”

Ruby frowned and touched Clem’s forehead with the back of her hand. “You’re running a slight fever. Do you have a headache?”

“No.” Clem insisted, wincing as another surge of pain filled her head. “Um, well, maybe a little.”

Ruby tutted under her breath. “Yeah, that’s what I thought. You’re stressing too much, hon. You shoulder so much for us as it is. ”

“I’m fine.” Clem protested. “I…I have to make sure we’re ready for…you know, if _they_ show up.”

“Who do you think they are?” Ruby’s face was tight with concern. “Why do you think they want the caravan group so much?”

“I don’t know, but it can’t be good.” Clem huffed a sigh, resting her chin in her hand. “The guy that we dealt with…he said some things I didn’t like.” She shuddered. “The way he talked about Steph, like…like she was a piece of meat. Honestly, I’m worried about _them,_ too.”

“Do you think we’ll see them again?” Ruby pressed her lips together tightly. “I mean, they know we’re here, and willing to protect them. Frankly, I’d accept extra manpower against the raiders.”

“Me too.” Clem interlaced her fingers, deep in thought. “And if they know the raiders, they might know their strategy or how to deal with them.”

“My thoughts exactly.” Ruby sighed. “It’s a shame we didn’t find out where they were headed. Any news on that walkie talkie?”

“We took the batteries out. Can’t risk anyone listening in on us.”

“Good thinking.” Ruby nodded seriously. “But, Clem…we can’t keep living our lives in fear that we’re going to be attacked again. I reckon we should have another party tonight.”

“Rubes, I have so much to do…” Clem weakly gestured at the sheets of paper in front of her.

“Pish!” Ruby waved her hand dismissively. “You can do that another time, right? Come on, Clem, we haven’t had a hootenanny since before, when Aasim, Omar and Violet were taken by the Delta. We should have another one now to celebrate them coming back. And to celebrate your survival.”

Clem drummed her hands on the table, thoroughly distracted from her work. “I don’t know, Ruby. Sorry, I really do have tons to work on…”

Ruby sighed heavily and got up. “Alright, alright, I see I can’t change your mind.” She conceded. “We’re just all worried about you, Clem. Louis especially. I know he hasn’t told you that he knows, but he told me you’ve been having nightmares. Did you know that nightmares can be induced by stress?”

“He told you that?” Clem’s brow furrowed. It was true, she had been getting worse nightmares recently, but she didn’t realise Louis knew that. “How did he…?”

“He said you toss and turn a lot in bed.” Ruby shrugged. “Clem, if not for yourself, for him. Practice a lil self-care, okay?” She started to walk away, over to Aasim. Clem frowned, mulling over her words.

“Ruby, wait!”

“Hmm?” Ruby turned back to her.

“I…guess it wouldn’t hurt. To have another party, I mean.” She scratched her arm awkwardly.

“Sweet.” A smile crossed Ruby’s face. “I’ll let the others know.”

* * *

Clem could hear the piano music from the top of the stairs. She rolled her eyes in amusement as she tapped her way down the hallway to the music room.

“Clem,” Louis poked his head out of the door, grinning softly at her. “Fancy seeing you here!”

“Yeah, who would have guessed?” She leaned forward to peck his lips gently. “Hi. You have the gramophone playing?”

“Sure do!” Louis made a move to offer his arm to her, momentarily forgetting about her crutches. He pulled back awkwardly. “Uh, we’re just waiting on Omar and Willy. They’re downstairs figuring out the party snacks.”

“Party snacks.” Clem sighed dreamily. “Haven’t heard those words in a long time.”

“Don’t worry, though, sunshine.” Louis lowered his voice, nudging her knowingly. “They’re not getting to our pretzels. I’ve hidden them in a safe spot.”

Clem giggled. “Good. They’re _vital_.”

Louis winked and opened the door wider, allowing her access to the room. “Your ballroom awaits, my lady.”

“Why, _thank you,_ good sir.” Clem fluttered her eyelashes facetiously, managing a wobbly curtsey on her crutches. Louis’s hands hovered near her waist, ready to catch her if she fell.

“Clem!” AJ perked up excitedly as she entered the room.

“Hey, kiddo.” Clem lowered herself with a sigh, resting against the piano legs. Next to Violet, who turned her head slightly in Clem’s direction with a small smile.

“Hey.”

Clem nodded a greeting, before stumbling over her words awkwardly. “Uh, hey.”

AJ scurried faithfully to her side and sat beside her, allowing her to wrap her arms around him in a hug.

“Oh good, you didn’t bail on us,” Ruby said with a mischievous glint in her eyes.

“I would never.” Clem grinned. “So, what’s the plan? Do you need a hand with anything?”

“Nah, we got it covered,” Ruby said quickly. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Ruby.” Clem raised her eyebrows. “I’m not totally useless, you know. I know you’ve organised this to help me relax, but…I’d like to help.”

“You can help us pick.” Ruby smiled sheepishly. “Um, mood lighting, again. Red, purple, or green. You want to do purple again?”

“You bet.” Clem nodded enthusiastically. Aasim lit the candles. Ruby drew the old curtains, cutting off the exterior light so all that remained was the soft purple glow that filled the room, flickering lavender light reaching every corner.

“Oh!” Violet sat up straight, turning in the general direction of the twinkling candles. Her sightless eyes narrowed intently and her mouth dropped open, wordless.

“Vi?” Clem hesitantly reached over and squeezed her hand. “You okay?”

“I can…I can see the light. The purple light.” An apprehensive smile spread across her face. “It’s really pretty. It glimmers when I turn my head.” She demonstrated, tilting her head left and right, her eyes fixated on the glow of the candles.

Ruby clapped happily. “You can? That’s great, Vi!”

“That…is that a good sign?”

“Are you kidding?” Louis knelt beside her, gently punching her shoulder, before sitting between her and Clem. “That’s a great sign!”

The door slammed open as Willy barrelled into the room, eyes bright and cheeks pink with excitement. “Guys, guys! You’ll never guess what we found!”

“Uh.” Louis stroked his chin, pretending to think hard. “Cantaloupe.”

“You _hate_ cantaloupe.” Clem deadpanned.

“Willy didn’t say it was a good thing.” Louis shrugged, turning to the younger kid. “So, uh, was it cantaloupe?”

“Nope.” Willy’s eyes glittered. “Try again.”

“Chocolate?” Aasim guessed.

“Apples?” Clem suggested. When Louis glanced at her, she held her hands up defensively. “What? I like apples!”

“Is it peaches?” Ruby asked. She caught Clem’s eye and grinned playfully as if having a secret joke. Of course, they were both from Georgia. But her expression turned yearnful. “Lord, I’d love a peach cobbler right about now.”

“Nope, nope, and nope!” Willy turned to Vi. “You guess, Vi!”

“Chicken nuggets.” She jested wistfully, knowing she was wrong. Clem winced, remembering what Vi had told her, weeks ago.

_“I’d give an eyeball for some chicken nuggets.”_

And…she had. Not exactly given up an eyeball, but ninety percent of her eyesight, which was near enough.

God, the girl deserved some chicken nuggets.

“Yep.” Omar popped his head around the door. Violet’s head snapped up, shocked. “Or, near enough. We found some freeze-dried chicken.”

“Omar…” Violet blinked rapidly. “You’re not fucking with me, right?”

“I’m deadly serious,” Omar told her, grinning at her excitement. “If we can pick up some kind of flour and cooking oil, I can actually make chicken nuggets.”

“Holy shit.” Violet’s mouth hung open and she clambered to her feet with a loud whoop. “Holy _shit!”_

“You actually found chicken?” Clem’s eyebrows shot up. “Whoa. How didn’t you find it before? I mean, jeez, you’ve been here for eight years.”

“It was at the very bottom of the pantry. In these airtight containers. It’s still okay to eat.” Omar explained. “We freeze-dried food in Culinary Arts once as an experiment…I just never really thought that there would be any left.”

“Well, we needed some good news.” Louis offered his hand for Omar to fist-bump. He rolled his eyes good-naturedly but obliged. “We’ll try and find some flour and oil on our next supply run.”

“Clem’s birthday is this month,” Willy supplied helpfully. “It can be a treat for then!”

Louis faltered, turning to Clem with a question in his eyes. She shook her head, and he nodded, but his gaze was firm. _I’ll ask you about it later._

“Now that’s something to party about!” Ruby said enthusiastically. “We oughta have something a lil more…substantial than this.” She nodded to the gramophone. “Something to dance to.”

Violet pulled a face. “I’ve heard all of these records too many times.”

“They’re all we’ve got.” Ruby shrugged. “I’m sick of them too, but…it’s better than nothing.”

“Well…” Aasim coughed awkwardly, his eyes flicking to the piano. “They’re not quite all we’ve got…”

Ruby followed his gaze and her eyes brightened. “Louis! You can play for us! And sing, too!”

“What?” Louis looked up, his hands raised and his eyebrows knit. Everyone was staring at him eagerly. “Uh, hang on, I didn’t agree to this.”

“Aw, come on, Lou.” Violet goaded him. “You’re usually into playing for us all to hear.”

“You must know some sing-alongs, Lou.” Ruby insisted. “C’mon, it’ll be fun.”

“Guys…” Louis frowned. “I don’t know.”

“Come on, piano man.” Clem nudged him playfully. His face flushed, his cheeks turning russet, and he glanced at the piano doubtfully. Clem’s voice softened and she leaned towards him, her lips brushing against his ears. “I’ve heard you sing before, you know. What’s so different this time?”

“I was only joking around. When I sang _My Darling Clementine.”_ He breathed, only for her to hear. “I wasn’t trying to…impress you. This time, I am.”

“I’m _always_ impressed by you.” She whispered, a soft smile crossing her face. “You don’t have to try.”

“Get a room.” Violet rolled her eyes. Since losing her sight, Violet had become more reliant on her other senses, meaning her hearing had improved significantly. “Stop being mushy.”

Louis groaned playfully and clambered to his feet, overdramatically adjusting his coat. “Ugh, fine. Any requests?”

“Something we can all sing along to,” Ruby said eagerly. “A song from before."

“I’m not singing.” Aasim protested quickly. “No fucking way.”

“You say that now, but just you wait.” Ruby sang, wagging her finger at him playfully.

“I won’t know the song.” AJ frowned. “Uh, whatever it is.”

“Me neither.” Willy glanced at his feet. “I was too little when this all started.”

“That’s okay, goofball.” Clem ruffled AJ’s hair. “You don’t have to sing along. Just follow our lead.”

“Okay,” Louis nodded to himself, thoughtful. “I…think I have an idea of what song to start off with. If you know it, join in.” His eyes met Clem’s, pleading, but he addressed everyone when he said, “Don’t let me sing this alone.”

“Yes!” Ruby fist pumped. Clem had never seen her this excited.

Louis took a deep breath, his fingers drifting to the keys and playing a tune Clem hadn’t heard since she was extremely little.

_“It’s nine o’clock on a Saturday, the regular crowd shuffles in.”_

Violet cursed under her breath, a smirk crossing her face. Ruby’s grin grew wider. Aasim nodded to himself, smiling slightly. Louis had made a good choice.

_“There’s an old man sitting next to me, making love to his tonic and gin.”_

Clem surprised herself by joining in on the next line.

_“He said, son, can you play me a memory? I’m not really sure how it goes.”_

Louis’s eyes met hers, surprised, before his fingers gained more confidence in the tune. It wasn't completely accurate and it was mainly from memory, but it did the job. Their vocals harmonised wonderfully, even if Clem's voice was scratchy from misuse and lack of practice. She hadn't sung anything since AJ was a baby, and her life was filled with nursery rhymes.

_“But it’s sad, and it’s sweet, and I knew it complete, when I wore a younger man’s clothes.”_

Before they knew it, everyone – besides AJ and Willy – was singing, triumphant nostalgia filling the room.

_“Sing us a song, you’re the piano man. Sing us a song tonight. Well, we’re all in the mood for a melody, and you’ve got us feeling alright!”_

* * *

When everyone went to sleep that night, throats sore and voices hoarse from singing – even AJ and Willy had picked up the lyrics by the second chorus, and there were many songs afterwards to choose from – Louis and Clem collapsed into their bed, giggling.

“I haven’t had that much fun in a while,” Clem whispered. “Ruby was right. I needed a break.”

“I’m glad.” Louis brushed his lips against hers in a gentle kiss. “I’ve been worried about you, babe.”

“I know.” Clem touched his cheek. “But I’ll be back to work tomorrow.” She sighed. "More stress."

“No, you won’t.” Louis insisted. “I have plans for us. I’ve already cleared it with the others, okay? We have the whole day free of chores.”

“Plans?” Clem’s brow furrowed, and she stifled a yawn. “What kind of plans? And it’s not your job to-”

“Ah-ah-ah.” Louis pressed his finger to her lips, stifling her. “It’s a surprise. Speaking of surprises…it’s your birthday this month? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Didn’t get a chance,” Clem muttered sleepily. “Don’t make a big deal out of it.”

“Oh, I’m _totally_ making a big deal out of it. We’re definitely going to celebrate.” Louis scoffed and kissed her forehead. Any protests she may have had died in her throat. “I love you.”

“I love you.” Clem yawned and pulled herself closer into his chest, allowing her eyes to drift shut.

For the first time in weeks, she slept without nightmares.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i would love to see art of the ericsons group singing piano man during a party...hint hint if any readers are artists ;D
> 
> just kidding.
> 
> unless? ;)
> 
> okay for real i'm joking lol


	10. if i just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis has a surprise for Clem.

“Clem…Clem!”

The sunlight was barely beginning to seep through the window when Clem was shaken awake. She groaned and lifted her head, squinting blearily.

“Lou?”

He was already dressed and ready, his eyes wide and bright with excitement. “Rise and shine.”

“What time is it?” She grunted under her breath as she sat up, running her fingers through her tangled black hair.

“Uh, seven-ish.” Louis said, distracted. “Come on, get dressed. I told you I had plans.”

“What kind of plans?”

Louis shook his head. “Nope. Not telling. Just, uh, we’re going on a bit of a hike. So, you know, be prepared for that.”

“A hike?” Clem grumbled and collapsed back into bed, sighing dramatically. “Kill me now.”

“It’ll be worth it.” He hooked his hands under her armpits and hoisted her up, lifting her into his arms bridal style. “C’mon, sunshine.”

“Lou,” Clem whined and half-heartedly whacked his chest. “It’s early. I want to sleep.”

“The day is _young,_ my darling.” He teased her, squeezing her to his body. “It’s a bright and beautiful morning. Don’t you want to spend time with me?” She struggled feebly before giving up with a sigh.

“Alright, alright.” She patted his shoulder indulgently. “Let me down and hand me some clothes.”

“I’m on it, your highness.” Louis placed her on the bed and bowed deeply with a cheeky grin, bounding over to the closet and pulling out a faded burgundy sweater and a pair of shorts. Though it was early October, it was still rather warm out. With Clem’s leg, she often found it easier to wear shorts than to deal with the excess fabric constricting the air to her still-healing wound.

“Thank you.” Clem stretched up and pressed a kiss to his lips. “Turn around, please.”

Louis laughed under his breath and obliged, pointedly not looking in her direction. He whistled a short tune through his teeth while waiting for Clem to get ready.

“Alright, done.” She leaned forward and tapped his arm, and he turned around with a wide smile only for it to fade when he saw her sat there, uncertainly glancing at her crutches that rested against the dresser.

“You know…” Louis’s brow furrowed. “I’m pretty sure there’s an old collapsible wheelchair in the storage cupboard. I know it’s not meant for heavy walking, but we could-”

 _“Nope.”_ Clem shook her head, pulling her hair into her signature twin pigtails. “Nuh-uh. Not happening. I’ll walk.”

“Can’t say I didn’t offer.” He picked up a dirty old rucksack which lay on the ground, next to the foot of the bed. “Come on. Let’s go.”

* * *

“Are you even going to tell me where we’re going?” Clem huffed, trying to keep up with her gangly-legged boyfriend, whose strides were much longer than hers. “We’ve been walking for, like, half an hour already.” Her legs were short at the best of times, but especially while she was on crutches. She had gotten better at using them in the last few weeks, but it still felt wrong. Her arms still ached, and she still stumbled every now and then. Willy had promised her that her prosthetic would be ready in the next few days. While she was still nervous about it, she couldn’t deny that she was looking forward to being up on her feet again. She had most definitely warmed up to the idea.

“It’s a surprise.” Louis insisted, cockily grinning at her. He looked extremely proud of himself.

They were deep into the woodland surrounding Ericsons, somewhere Clem wasn’t familiar with. Louis had said he’d walked this area with Aasim many times while hunting. And… with Marlon, before he reduced the safe zone.

“I’m not so sure I like surprises anymore,” Clem said doubtfully. “They don’t usually bode well.”

“I promise you’ll like this one. You need to de-stress. You’ve been under a lot of pressure recently. I don’t think you’ve relaxed since…since your first days at Ericsons.”

“Right.” Clem yawned. “And your idea of de-stressing is to wake me up at seven?”

“Yep. Though it’s like, eight, now.” Louis snickered lightly, looking up at the sunlight filtering through the leaves at the top of the trees. His face softened and he reached up to grasp the straps of the backpack hanging from his shoulders. “You know, this is my favourite time of day.”

“Really?” Clem raised her eyebrows. _“Your_ favourite? Louis, I have to drag you out of bed most days.”

“You’re not wrong. Still…I don’t see _this_ much but it’s still my favourite.” He slowed down his pace to match hers, subconsciously reaching out to her before realising his mistake and pulling away. “Dammit, I wish I could hold your hand.”

Clem shifted over, nestling as close as her crutches would allow while still walking. “You’ll be able to, soon.” She told him. A half-smile flickered across his face and he nodded. “So, why do you love the early morning so much?”

“Well…” Louis looked up again, glancing at the sky. “It’s so peaceful. We all wake up pretty early at Ericsons, considering working nine to five isn’t really a thing anymore. But there’s always so much to do, a new issue, more work, or whatever. On the days that I can bring myself out of bed this early, I get all of this time to myself. I can think. I can…live, for a bit.”

This part of the forest was gigantic, dark, and diverse. The sky was blocked by a canopy of willow, birch, and sycamore, and the occasional beam of light that made its way through the leaves allowed for bright wildflowers to consume the damp soil below. Clem reckoned that Aasim would know the names of most of the flowers, but to her it was merely a dazzling splash of colour. White, yellow, pink, blue…

A flash of purple caught her eye and she made a mental note, seeing violets peppering the undergrowth. Maybe she could bring them back for their own Violet. Or would that be cheesy? She didn’t know.

A cacophony of birdsong and the scuttling of insects created a chaotic orchestra with the barrage of noise coming from a waterfall in the distance. It was still early enough for the chirping of crickets to reach Clem’s ears. It was peaceful. Very peaceful.

Clem hummed in contentment. “I suppose I can see what you see.”

“Are you pissed at me for waking you up so early?” He nudged her.

“Well…” Clem looked at him out of the corner of her eye. “You’ll have to make it up to me.”

“Oh?” Louis’s voice took on a flirty tone. “And how can I do _that?_ Name your price, princess.”

“Hmm,” Clem slowed to a stop, humming thoughtfully. “How about…a kiss?”

“You drive a hard bargain.” Louis pretended to think hard about it. His face broke into a wide grin. “Well, I think I can spare _one_ kiss.”

He brought both hands up to cup her jaw and tilted her head upwards, stroking his thumb along her cheek. He had to crane his neck somewhat awkwardly to kiss her, because he was so much taller than her, but they made it work. Her lips were soft as they pushed against his, and he could feel her long eyelashes fluttering against his cheek. When he pulled away, she followed, barely allowing them to separate.

“You sure you can only spare _one?”_

“Alright. _Two.”_ He kissed her again, quickly, so she barely had time to react. “For now, at least.” He cackled wickedly as she protested, and he started walking further into the woods.

“No fair!”

“Come on, darling, we’re almost there.”

“Almost where?” Clem persisted. “I still don’t know where we’re going. And what’s in that backpack you’ve got there?”

“Clem! It wouldn’t be a surprise if I told you!” Louis laughed. “Just…five more minutes, at most.”

“Alright. My arms are…kind of starting to ache, now.”

“Want me to carry you again?”

“Definitely not.” Clem said quickly.

“You…” Louis exhaled heavily, shooting her a curious glance. “You never let up, not for one second. I admire it, I really do, but it also scares the fuck out of me. I’m constantly worried that you’re going to burn out. I’m just wondering…why don’t you let us help you?”

“I don’t know.” She sighed. “I’m just…used to being independent, I guess. I’ve been taking care of myself and AJ for so many years now that…I find it hard to rely on others.”

“But relying on others is…good, right?” He frowned. “You can’t do everything on your own. Not that you’re not _capable,”_ He amended quickly, “But, you know, it’s nice to get some help every now and then.”

“I know.” Clem nodded, wincing as her crutches drove back up into the crook of her armpits. “I’m just, um, stubborn. Old habits die hard, I guess.”

“I know. And I love you for it. But shit, you’re working yourself into an early grave.” He shook his head. “And I’m not about to let that happen.”

Clem bit back a smile. “Thank you.”

Louis smiled back at her, his face softening, before he glanced up. A grungy purple ribbon adorned one of the trees. “We’re here.” He grimaced. “If I wasn’t worried you’d trip, I’d cover your eyes or something, so I could truly surprise you. But, you know. Can’t have you falling and hurting yourself.”

“Get a move on,” Clem reached up and shoved his shoulder playfully. “Show me this surprise already.”

“Okay, okay.” Louis raised his hands in surrender. “This is my special place. Marlon and I found it once. Before he reduced the safe-zone and…everything happened. I haven’t been here in a _long_ time, but…well, take a look for yourself.” He took her arm gently, assisting her through the trees.

Clem’s breath hitched. “Oh, wow, _Louis…”_

She was greeted by a glorious expanse of grass and meadow flowers, framed by the branches of slender willows and sycamores. Orange and yellow leaves drifted lazily through the breeze and scattering across the jade-green grass and rainbow wildflowers. A narrow, bubbling brook stretched across the meadow, splitting it cleanly in half. The water was clean and sparkling, so clear that Clem could see the wet grey rocks at the very bottom, pebbles glittering as the water and sun bounced off of their surface. If she looked up, high above the trees, she could see mulchy green mountains fading into the distance, bringing the whole meadow into shadow. Clem grinned and eagerly stumbled forwards, closing her eyes and allowing herself to take in the warm sun on her face and the breeze in her nose, a mossy, woody smell permeating her senses.

Louis leant against a tree and crossed his arms, a sappy smile crossing his face. His face softened as he watched her excitedly hobbling about on her crutches, golden sunlight shining down and lighting a sunny halo on her dark curly hair.

For the first time in what felt like years, they could hear birds chirping. It felt untouched, like a corner of the world that had never been plagued by walkers or humans destroying the area.

“What do you think?” Louis joined her side. His face grew nervous. “Was it worth it?”

“It’s beautiful.” Clem assured him, the sunlight lighting her amber eyes into fiery gold. _“Totally_ worth it.”

Louis whooped and surged forward, lifting her into his arms. Her crutches clattered to the ground, forgotten, as she squealed in half-hearted objection. He spun her around with a chuckle before setting her down to lay in the grass. As he joined her, his head hitting the soft foliage, he relished the feeling of the grass tickling the back of his neck. His hand rooted over the ground, searching for hers, which immediately met his and she tangled their fingers together.

“Is this the second date?” She asked, a dreamy tone tinging her voice. Louis laughed, rolling onto his side so he was facing her. She was looking straight up at the sky, her profile defined in the golden sun. Louis found himself wanting – as per usual – to kiss her, her soft lips, her snub nose, her smooth cheek, any part of her that he could reach. But instead he answered her.

“You bet.” He told her, gently rubbing the back of her hand with his thumb. “Date number two is in session. And, uh, we can spend as long as you want here. Even all day. That is…if you want to.”

 _“Yes.”_ Clem blurted, before catching herself. “I do want to, I mean. It’s, um, nice to spend time alone together. Like, properly, without everyone around. I know we spend a _lot_ of time alone together, but we’re never actually… _alone.”_ She winced, flushing bright red. “Ugh, sorry, I’m not making any sense.”

“No, I get what you mean.” Louis said quickly, reaching out and pulling her into his chest. She sighed and buried her head in the recess between his neck and chin. “When we’re at home, even if we’re in our room, it’s like…AJ or Willy or someone could walk in, or we could be attacked by fucking _raiders_ …no, you’re right. We never get any time where we’re actually alone.” He kissed the top of her head.

“We should do this more often.” Clem decided.

“Damn right we should.” His hand gently graced the small of her back. Clem shivered.

“So, um…” She cleared her throat, trying to distract herself from the sensation of his fingers dancing up her spine. “You gonna tell me what you have in the bag there?”

A chuckle rumbled deep in his chest. “You haven’t figured it out? I packed a picnic.”

“Oh.” Clem pushed herself up, laughing. “Duh! I’m an idiot. That’s…really romantic, Lou. It’s cute.”

 _“You’re_ cute.” Louis shook his head with a smile and grasped her waist, gently shifting her legs so she straddled his hips. His hand stretched off to the side, blindly plucking a bright yellow wildflower from the grass beside him. “A-ha! A gift for you, sunshine.” He reached up and tucked it behind the shell of her ear, weaving it in her dark curls. His smile widened and his eyes turned gentle, his eyebrows slanting upwards to soften his expression. “Fuck. You’re so pretty.”

Clem scoffed and leaned down so they were nose to nose. “Shut…” She punctuated her words with kisses. _“…up.”_ The petals of the yellow flower tickled his cheek.

“I love you.” He gently touched her cheek with his index finger. “I know I say it a lot, but…”

“I know.” Clem kissed him again. “I love you too.”

* * *

“Fuck!” Clem squealed, shivering. She quickly withdrew her foot from the rushing brook. “It’s fucking freezing!”

They had been at the meadow for three or four hours already. Clem thought that if it hadn’t been the apocalypse, she would probably be bored by now. But she was so pleased just to be away from others, alone with the person she loved, that she couldn’t possibly be bored. She didn’t want the day to end.

“It’s not that bad,” Louis assured her. He was standing in the water, almost up to his knees in it. It wasn’t a particularly wide or deep stream, and he was stood as deep as he could go. His jacket, boots and socks lay forgotten on the banks, his jeans rolled up as far as they could go over his lean legs. “C’mon, babe, the water’s nice.”

“Easy for you to say. I’ve only got one foot left, I’m not losing it to frostbite.” Clem shot back, dipping her toes back into the stream and kicking a silvery stream of water in his direction.

“Ouch!” Louis touched his heart, a wounded expression overcoming his face. “After all I did for you. Packed you a picnic, brought you on this lovely date, put that beautiful flower in your hair…and you repay me in freezing water.”

“Poor baby.” Clem jested, plucking a purple wildflower from the ground and inspecting it. “I wonder if I can remember how to do this…”

“Do what?” Louis clambered out of the brook, flopping down next to Clem and laying his head in her lap.

“Nope. My turn for a surprise.” Clem insisted, her fingers deftly working on her masterpiece. She slit the stem of the flower open with her thumbnail, weaving it with the stem of a blue flower. Purple, blue, purple, blue. One by one she built up the flower crown, making sure it was full and luscious. Before long, she had a wreath of wildflowers. She smiled and placed it on his head. “Done.”

Louis reached up, surprised, and touched the wreath. “A flower crown?”

“Yep.” She leaned down and kissed him. “A crown for my king.”

Louis sat up, a small smile growing on his face, and peered over the brook, glancing at his reflection in the crystalline water. The crown was slightly lopsided on his head, giving him a carefree, relaxed look. The bright, royal tones of the purple and blue flowers contrasted with his russet skin, sunlight bouncing off of his high, freckled cheekbones. Not for the first time, it occurred to Clem that her boyfriend was _extremely_ good-looking. “Where did you learn how to do this?”

“My old babysitter taught me.” Clem shrugged with one shoulder. “Before all of this happened. I haven’t made a flower crown in, like, eight years, so…sorry that it’s not that good. I used to be better at it.”

“It’s perfect.” He insisted, touched. It was a little crooked and the flowers were a little wilted, but to Louis, it was one of the prettiest things he’d ever seen. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder, pulling her close and kissing her cheek. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Clem sighed happily. “So, um, how about that picnic? I’m starting to get hungry.”

“As you wish, my lady.” He stood up and bowed low with a flourish, before frowning. “Hey, you should have a crown, too. I mean, if I’m your king, you’re my queen, right?”

“I’ll make myself one in a second.” She assured him.

“You better,” He warned jokingly, loping over to the edge of the meadow and picking up the old rucksack, which he’d placed on the floor when they arrived. “So, uh, I don’t have much that’s _nutritional,_ but it all tastes pretty good.” He joined her side again, placing the rucksack beside them an1d pulling out the food. Dried fruit, bottled water, instant beans, honey, crackers, their coveted pretzels, and…

“Twinkies?” Clem laughed. “Seriously, fucking _Twinkies?_ They’ve gotta be stale or mouldy by now.”

“Nope.” Louis shook his head. “These fuckers have lasted the whole time. They’re completely fine, seriously. A little stale, but they still taste as good.”

“If you say so,” Clem said, but she sounded a little unconvinced. She picked one up and inspected it. “I’ll, um, try them in a bit.” Instead, she reached for the pretzels, offering one to him. He grinned and accepted it. “You can’t be so pessimistic this time.” She reminded him. “It’s not our last night alive.”

“You’re right.” He accepted, his brow furrowing in thought before breaking into a smile. “How about…to the two of us?”

“To the two of us.” Clem agreed, tapping their pretzels together in a toast. The pretzels were most definitely stale, but they still tasted good – salty, crunchy, a taste from her childhood.

Louis leaned back with a sigh, his dreadlocks bouncing around his head as he looked up at the blue sky. “I don’t know when we’ll next get a day like this. The new raiders…”

“Hush.” Clem touched his lips with her index finger. “I know. But…we have to take it, right? What happened to your _living in the moment_ stuff?”

“Mm.” He took her hand from his mouth, kissing her fingertips before holding it to his chest, where she could feel his steady pulse. “You’re right.” He gave her a lopsided grin that made her heart flutter. “Do you even know how happy you make me?”

“I got some notion.” She looked at the grass, a sudden bout of shyness overcoming her. “If it’s even half as happy as you make me…”

Louis opened his mouth as if to say something, but he caught sight of something behind Clem, and he grimaced. “Shit. Walkers. Over the brook.”

Clem looked over her shoulder, catching sight of the two staggering, bloody figures. She winced as she noticed that one of them was a little kid. “Ah, fuck.”

“Stay here, I got them.” He told her, drawing a knife from his pocket. He had left Chairles at home, feeling that it detracted from the romantic mood.

“Be careful.” She pulled him in for a quick kiss and watched as he got up, making his way towards them. But…something didn’t feel right.

One of the walkers reached out in their direction, her maw opening to let out a snarl. Or…that’s what Clem thought would happen. Instead, the walker spoke.

“He-help…” The walker rasped, her hand trembling. Louis hadn’t noticed, his mind focused on the weight of the knife in his hand.

“Shit!” Clem shot up, cupping her hands to her mouth. “Louis, _no!”_

He turned to her, brow furrowed. “Huh?”

“Look!” Clem broke off, her eyes wide. 

Louis turned to the walkers, frowning, before his mouth fell open and his eyebrows drew up in concern. They weren't walkers at all. Injured, bleeding, torn clothes and covered in mud and blood, it was...

 _“Steph?"_ He looked at the scared little girl by her side. "Emily? Holy shit, are you okay?"

Steph faltered. She glanced down at her leg, where dark blood was staining the denim across her knee. She smiled in relief. “Hello, Louis.” She whispered.

Then she collapsed to the ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shit is goin downnnnn. down with the fluff, it's time for PLOT, babey!


	11. little sister, don’t you cry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis and Clem bring the sisters back to get fixed up.

“Fuck!” Louis fell to his knees, gently shaking the collapsed girl’s shoulder. “Steph? Stephanie?”

No response. Emily shivered, her eyes wide and white in the blood smeared over her face. Tears tracked through the grime on her cheeks, creating clean streaks down her face. Her face was so dirty that Louis couldn’t see the angry red scars that he knew were there.

“Holy shit.” Clem crawled to her crutches, pulling herself up with a groan and making her way over to them. She had to be careful, as they were on the other side of the stream, and she cursed loudly as her foot met the cold water. She almost tripped, catching herself at the last minute as her crutch wedged between two rocks. As she made her way onto dry land, her foot numb, her brow creased in worry. “Is she…?”

“She’s alive.” Louis informed her, his ear hovering over Steph’s heart. “Her pulse is weak, but it’s there.”

“Louis, be careful. She might be…” Clem hesitated, her voice lowering. _“…bitten.”_

“I don’t think so.” His eyes raked over Steph’s body, searching for marks on the exposed skin or bloodied tears in the clothes. He pointed to her knee. “No, look, it’s just her leg. Looks like a gunshot wound.”

Clem nodded. Any mistrust that she had felt from Henry melted away, only replaced with worry for the unconscious teen. “Well, we have to take her back home. Get Ruby to check her out.”

Louis gazed at her, a small smile flickering on his face. “You’re amazing.” He told her honestly. He loved the fact that she was so willing to put her lack of trust away, so willing to risk it if it meant healing up these strangers. After all, they knew that the new raiders were looking for Steph and her family. It could have been a ruse – but Clem didn’t think of that, too concerned with helping her fellow survivor. “Yeah, let’s take her home.”

“Can you lift her?” Clem glanced down at her own leg. “I think I’ll be pretty useless in this situation.”

“I can.” Louis grunted as he lifted Steph up. “I think we should-”

_“No!”_

Louis jumped, startled, as Emily ran forward, pounding on his legs with her little fists. For such a little girl, her punch was surprisingly strong.

“No, no, no!” She wailed. _“Stephie!”_

“Emily!” His brows knit, concerned. “Emily, I’m not going to hurt her, okay? It’s me, it’s Louis! I’m trying to help her.”

Emily didn’t listen, shaking her head wildly and howling as she punched his leg. After a few more failed attempts to soothe her, Louis looked up at Clem, his eyes imploring her to help. “She won’t walk with us in this state and I can’t carry them both.” He told her urgently. “Emily needs to calm down.”

Clem closed her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose in deep thought. “Right. Okay.”

When she opened her eyes, she was back at the ranch and staring at the bloodied body of AJ’s caretaker as he wailed in the locker.

_What the-_

Her eyes refocused. No, she was still in the meadow. It was just a memory.

But now she knew what to do. Just like back at the ranch.

Clem crouched down, using her crutch as a support to keep her on the balls of her feet. Her voice softened, her face relaxing into a more friendly and approachable expression. “Are you Emily?”

The little girl sniffled; her wide eyes distrustful.

“I’m Clementine, but you can call me Clem, if you want. You know Louis already, right?”

Emily glanced up at Louis before nodding, a small inclination of the head that at least told Clem that she was doing something right.

Clem tried again. “We’re not going to hurt Stephanie, okay? Her leg is hurt real bad, and we want to take her to a safe place so we can fix her up. Will you let us do that?”

Emily hesitated. Her stomach growled, which she immediately tried to stifle. _“Shhhh!”_ She hissed to herself.

Clem nodded in understanding. “Are you hungry? We have lots of food at home. We also have water. You can have a nice warm bath and wash all of this muck away, and we’ll get you some clean clothes. You just have to trust us, Emily. I promise we won’t hurt you.”

Emily’s lank golden-brown hair was almost black with dirt and dried blood.

“You have very pretty hair.” Clem said softly. “But it needs a good wash. Do you want to come with us? We can wash it. I promise we’re not mean people, Emily. There are also lots of other children to play with.”

When Emily spoke, her voice was small. “AJ?”

“Yes, AJ is back home. Rosie is, too.” Clem assured her. “You made friends with them last time, right? AJ has been worried about you, and Rosie will be happy to see you. Will you trust us?”

Emily faltered, her gaze falling to her bloodied hands. She glanced up at Steph, lying unconscious in Louis’s grip, and she nodded. “Okay.”

“Alright, then.” Clem pulled herself to her feet. “Are you…okay with holding my hand? You can help me walk, if you’d like, and I’d feel better if you didn’t wander off.”

Emily offered her hand wordlessly. Clem passed her right crutch to Louis, who shifted Steph in his arms so he could comfortably carry them both. She kept the crutch on her left side, so her stump was still supported. This wouldn’t be a comfortable walk, with only one crutch, but she could handle it. She took Emily’s hand in hers, squeezing her fingers reassuringly. “You’re very brave.” Clem praised the little girl. “Thank you for trusting us.”

Emily’s mouth curled in the slightest of shy smiles.

“Come on.” Louis inclined his head in the direction of the forest. “Let’s go.”

* * *

Emily wasn’t a talkative kid, Clem soon discovered. Like Louis had said, her vocabulary was limited for a six-year-old, almost as if she was four or five. It seemed menial, being at most a measly two years behind, but Clem knew from experience with AJ how drastic a difference one or two years could make when a kid was developing. Emily also didn’t seem to even _want_ to talk much, alternating between glancing worriedly at Steph and staring at Clem’s stump. She frowned, fighting an inward battle between her curiosity and her desire to stay silent.

In the end, curiosity won. She squeezed Clem’s hand, causing the older girl to look down at her.

“What’s wrong, Emily?” Clem’s voice was soft, comforting. She was finding it easy to slip back into her old maternal role from when AJ was a toddler. Seeing Emily, who was so shy, so innocent, so obviously a _kid_ , only made her realise how quickly AJ had grown up in this world. Clem couldn’t see those scars that Louis had warned her about, but maybe she’d see them once she scrubbed all of the grime off of the poor little girl.

“Your leg gone?” Emily asked quizzically, gesturing in Clem’s direction.

“Yeah.” Clem hesitated, wondering how best to explain it. “It got bitten by walkers and I got very sick because of the infection. We had to take the leg off so I could get better.”

 _“Oh.”_ Emily nodded, eyes wide in comprehension. “Monsters hurt it?”

“Yeah, monsters hurt it.” Clem confirmed. So, much like AJ, Emily called them ‘monsters’. Good to know for future reference.

Emily pulled a face. _“My_ feet hurt.” She announced.

“I know they do, kiddo.” Clem sympathized. “We’ll be… _home,_ soon.”

They’d been walking for almost half an hour, and God knew how long Emily and Steph had been walking on their own before that. A lingering voice in the back of Clem’s head wondered where Henry and Martina were, but she pushed that thought away. She could worry about that later. Right now, Steph and Emily were all that mattered.

“We’re almost there.” Louis called over his shoulder, shifting Steph’s weight in his arms. He was leading the way a few paces ahead of them, every now and then glancing back to make sure the girls were okay. “Just a little further, Emily. You’re being really brave.”

“Stephie?”

“Steph will be fine.” Louis assured her. “We have a medic – uh, that’s a _doctor_ – back at our home. Ruby will fix Steph’s leg up so she’s healthy again.”

“Medic.” Emily nodded, pleased. Clem knew the look on her face. It was the one she’d seen on AJ hundreds of times, the delight that a kid derives from learning a new word.

The next ten minutes were filled with silence as the group got into familiar territory. Before long, the gate was in site.

“We’re home.” Louis slowed to let Clem and Emily catch up. He gently nudged Clem with his elbow. “When we get in, have a word with Omar and see if he can fix up a quick meal for Emily, okay? Let’s get her as comfortable and-” his voice lowered _“-distracted_ as possible while Ruby works on Steph.”

“Hey, who’s the leader here again?” Clem teased him half-heartedly, nudging him right back. She pressed a kiss to his cheek. “You got it, boss.”

Louis shoved against the gate with his shoulder, opening it with a creak. “Ruby?” Everyone was sat around the table, deep in conversation, but they looked up at the sound of the gate, and Louis’s voice.

“Louis?” Ruby got up, her eyes falling to the unconscious girl he was carrying. “Holy crap, what happened? Who is this?”

“This is one of the girls from the caravan that AJ and I scoped out.” Louis relaxed his grip, allowing Ruby to inspect her. “I don’t know what happened – she just appeared out of nowhere and collapsed.”

“Is that Steph?” AJ appeared at Louis’s side, peering at the girl in worry. “Is she okay?”

“She’s alive.” Ruby confirmed, prodding Steph’s knee. A pained gasp escaped her lips. Ruby winced. “But I’ll need to look at that leg. Come on.” She beckoned for Louis to follow her. “We’ll set her up in one of the empty bedrooms. I’ll… _oh!”_ Ruby stopped dead, staring at Emily.

The little girl was clinging to Clem’s hand, slightly hiding behind her. It reminded Louis of the first time he met Steph and Emily, with big sister protecting little sister. That was a good sign, he decided. It looked like Emily was starting to trust Clem.

“Well, hi there!” Ruby crouched to the ground to get level with Emily. “Are you hurt too, sweetheart?” She glanced at Louis, flicking her head to the door. He took the hint and carried Steph up the front stairs and into the school.

Emily made no move to answer, looking anxiously up at Clem, so Clem did it for her. “We don’t think so, but I’d like to clean her off so we can know for sure. This is Emily.”

“Good idea. Hi, Emily.” Ruby smiled warmly. “What pretty hair you have!” She got up to her feet. “I’m going to go and make your sister better, okay?” She nodded at Clem and followed after Louis.

“Emily!” AJ blurted excitedly. “I was worried about you!” He bounded towards her, arms raised ready to give her a hug, but he stopped short as she shrunk back fearfully, shaking her head.

“AJ.” Clem warned gently.

“She’s my friend.” AJ said, baffled. “Why is she scared of me?”

“I don’t know.” Clem told him, “But we’re gonna find out. Give her some space for now, okay?”

“Okay.” AJ nodded reluctantly. “What are you going to do?”

“She needs a bath.” Clem looked around at the rest of the group. “Aasim, could you collect some water for a bath and heat it? I know that’s a luxury we don’t usually go for, but…” Clem shrugged. “It’s a better idea than a shower.”

“I’m on it.” Aasim affirmed. “Where do you want me to take it?”

“Take the water up to my room. And a basin or tub, if you can find one big enough. Omar, would you be able to make up a little food for her?”

“Of course I can.” Omar nodded, crossing his arms. “I’ll send AJ to get you when it’s ready.”

“Thanks.” Clem glanced down at Emily. “Come with me, okay? I’m going to clean you up.”

Emily nodded wordlessly, clutching Clem’s hand as the older girl led her up the stairs and to the dorm rooms. Louis was idling in the hallway, a concerned look on his face. His expression cleared and he smiled when he saw Clem.

“All okay?” Clem asked softly.

“Yeah,” Louis confirmed. “Ruby’s on the case. Steph lost a fair bit of blood. I mean, she’ll live, but it remains to see how bad the damage to her knee is.” He pulled a face.

“That’s better than I thought.” Clem sighed. “At least she’ll survive, with or without the use of her leg.”

“You of all people can attest to that. I put your other crutch in our room.” Louis teased. He looked down at Emily, and his face softened. “Clem’s gonna clean you up, alright, Emily?”

“Thank you.” Emily whispered, squeezing Clem’s hand. Clem could feel her heart melting.

“You’re welcome.” She said genuinely, guiding the little girl into the room she shared with Louis. “Come on, I think I have some water and a washcloth in here. I’ll get some of that muck off of your face, okay?” Clem knelt by the bed, placing a towel down and patting the mattress for Emily to sit down. She reached underneath the bunk bed, grabbing an old first aid kit.

Emily watched her, silent as a mouse, as she pulled out an old cloth. Clem grimaced.

“Better than nothing.” She muttered, grabbing a water bottle and dampening the cloth. She raised the cloth to Emily’s face, but hesitated. “Do you trust me? I’m going to be very careful and try not to hurt you.”

Emily nodded.

“Alright, then.” Clem took her time, painstakingly wiping away the dirt and blood from Emily’s face. At first, she thought Louis had been mistaken. That Emily’s face was clear of scars and cuts, and she was unharmed.

However, she quickly realised she was wrong.

A sinking feeling grew in the pit of her stomach as she wiped at Emily’s face. As more dirt washed away, more scars were unearthed. But only on the right side. They spanned from forehead to chin, and now that Clem knew they were there, she could see the unevenness of the skin underneath the muck, stretching down her neck and even poking out the sleeve of her sweater, marring her chubby little hand. No doubt the scars continued under the fabric of her shirt. _Strange,_ Clem thought, trying to distract herself from how awful it was. _Why only one side?_ As Louis had said, these scars were very obviously deliberate, but if the intent was to cause pain…why only one side of the body? Unless it was to send a message, or even stake a claim. Clem slowed down, making sure to go extremely carefully around the tender flesh of the scars. Some of these scars were recent. As in, less than twenty-four hours ago.

 _Poor baby._ She thought sadly. _What happened to you?_

A knock sounded on her door. “Clem? I have the water for you.”

“Thanks, Aasim. Um, you can leave it in here.”

Aasim pushed open the door with his shoulder. He was carrying a child-sized wash basin filled halfway with water, the faded plastic patterned with dinosaurs. “I remember we had this old basin in the store room. It was for when the little kids had baths. I thought you’d maybe find some use from it.” His gaze flicked to Emily, and beyond a slight widening of the eyes and the barest shocked inhale, he didn’t outwardly appear to even notice her scars. Clem mentally thanked him for not making a big deal out of it.

“That’s perfect, thank you.” She said gratefully as he placed the basin on the wooden floor. “Tell the others…” She trailed off tactfully.

He knew what she meant. _Warn the others about her scars._ Clem didn’t want anyone making a fuss about them, for fear of making Emily uncomfortable. “I will. Oh, I brought up some soap and a sponge, too. Though you’d have to be kind of careful with it.” He lowered his voice to a mutter. Clem nodded. Soap stung when it got in open wounds.

“I’ll be careful.” She promised, dipping her hand into the water to test the temperature. Perfect. “Thanks, Aasim.”

“No problem.” The youth said quickly, and shut the door after him as he left.

Clem turned to Emily, reaching for the hem of the little girl’s shirt. “Can I?”

Emily frowned. “Why?”

“It’s a bath.” Clem explained awkwardly. “It’s to help you get clean. Your clothes will make you dirty again, so you have to take them off. You can put some clean clothes on afterwards.”

Emily didn’t look convinced. “Mommy uses a cloth.”

“I understand, but this will make you even cleaner. You’re too dirty for just a cloth, right now.” Clem sighed. “Tell you what, I’ll find you some new clothes now. While I’m doing that, you get yourself into the bath, okay?”

“Okay.”

Clem pulled herself to her feet, walking over to her closet. It was a mess, a mix of her clothes and Louis’s. “Let’s see…” She murmured, reaching out and rummaging through. She wanted to find something comfortable. Ideally she would use something of AJ’s – they were the same age, they’d probably be a similar size – but the issue was that AJ only had one set of pyjamas, which were already too big for him. So, they’d definitely be too big for Emily. _No,_ Clem decided, _I’ll grab one of my shirts and she can use it as a nightgown._ Not for the first time, she was glad she was petite. She pulled out an old white short sleeved shirt, one that was slightly too small for her anyway. Hopefully it wouldn’t engulf Emily too much. “That’ll do.”

Behind her, she heard a soft splash and a squeal, which made her chuckle under her breath. She turned back around to see Emily’s dirty clothes in a crumpled heap on the floor, and the girl herself in the tub. Clem winced to see that the water was already darkening in colour from all of the dirt.

“Alright, let’s scrub you clean.” She grabbed the soap and sponge from the floor. “I’ll be really careful, okay?”

They sat in silence for a few minutes, the only sounds being the water splashing as Clem poured it over Emily’s frail body. She was skinny, Clem noticed. Way too skinny, practically emaciated. They’d get a good meal in her later.

“Sorry.” Clem whispered as she brushed past an open wound too roughly, eliciting a whimper from Emily. She bit her lip, deliberating. Did she dare ask? “Do you want to tell me what happened, Emily?”

The six-year-old shook her head firmly.

“Alright, then.” Clem didn’t press the issue.

Fifteen minutes later, the water was almost cold, and Emily was as clean as possible, given the circumstances. Her wounds were still red and raw but there wasn’t much Clem could do about that but bandage them, which Emily adamantly refused to let her do.

Clem gently tugged the old shirt over Emily’s head. It was comically large on her, but it did the job. She glanced up at the barred window. “I think I can smell your food.”

As if on cue, there was a knock on the door and AJ’s voice piped up from the other side. “Clem? Omar says Emily’s food is ready.”

“Go with AJ,” Clem urged. “He’ll take you downstairs to eat. I’ll go and check on your sister.”

* * *

When Steph awoke, she was in an unfamiliar place. Her ears felt fuzzy, her head pounding. Stranger’s voices floated past her ears, only catching snippets of conversation.

_“…alone…meadow…collapsed.”_

_“…raiders…walkie-talkie…dangerous? Could have killed Violet…”_

_“…what about…parents? …Henry…running from something.”_

_“…shattered kneecap…two months of recovery. Her sister…”_

_“…scars? What kind of monster…?”_

She sighed, her eyelids fluttering. She wanted to sleep more. To get rid of the exhaustion that had seeped right into her bones, weighing her down. But a dark shadow appeared above her.

“…awake! Hey, Stephanie? Steph!”

She squinted upwards. Why was this person so familiar? She felt the pressure of a hand snaking around to support her back.

“Here, let me help you, hon.” A southern accent called worriedly, gently heaving her into a sitting position and resting her against the headboard. So, she was in bed?

“Where am I?” She whispered hoarsely. She was parched. She blinked, focusing on the scene in front of her. A red-haired girl was in front of her, keeping a concerned hand on her shoulder.

The girl opened her mouth to speak. “Are you okay, Stephanie?”

Ah, so _she_ was the source of the southern accent. But…how did she know Steph’s name? Fuck, did she somehow get amnesia and forget people she knew? Steph slouched against the headboard, mentally going through everything that she’d been through recently.

_The Disciples…Mom and Dad…running away…Emily…_

_Emily!_

“My sister.” Steph croaked. “Emmie. Where’s Emmie?”

“She’s downstairs.” Another girl entered her periphery, sat at the end of the bed. This girl, with her frizzy dark hair and pretty hazel eyes – and most tellingly, _amputated leg_ – was familiar. “She’s having something to eat with AJ. Don’t worry.”

Steph frowned, the pieces falling into place as she spotted a dreadlocked boy behind the girl. “Um…Clementine, right? And Louis.”

“That’s right.” Clem nodded, a small smile on her face.

“Where am I?” Steph asked again, a worried crease appearing in her eyebrows.

“Welcome to Ericsons.” Clem swept her hand around the room. “You’re safe here.”

“Safe?” A humourless laugh escaped Steph’s lips. “No such thing.”

Clem and Louis exchanged a glance. Louis leaned forward. “Steph, can you tell us what happened? We found you and Emily in a meadow. You appeared out of nowhere. Where have you been for the past few weeks?”

Steph bit her lip, debating what to tell them, when a flash of black plastic on Clem’s hip caught her eye. Her blood ran cold.

“Where…where did you get that walkie talkie?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the disciples, huh? that can't be good...


	12. maybe you think that you can hide, i can smell your scent for miles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steph answers all of the Ericson kids questions, like who the new raiders are, why they were looking for her, and where the hell Henry and Martina are.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hooooooly exposition, batman
> 
> i hope y'all think steph has an interesting back-story...i've been planning it out for a while, and i feel like the villain has an interesting motiation :) let me know what you think

“Where…where did you get that walkie talkie?”

Steph’s breathing quickened.

“Now, hold on, sug.” The red-haired girl touched her shoulder gently. “You’ve gone pale. What’s wrong? What do you mean about the walkie talkie?”

Steph shrugged the girl’s hand off. _“Where did you get it?_ “She snarled.

Clem’s hazel eyes were unfathomable as she tried to understand Steph’s reaction. “We had a break in a week ago. A guy tried to kill our friend Violet. He had this on him.” Clem held out the talkie for Steph to see.

Steph made no move to take the talkie. She had a fearful expression on her face, almost as though she expected it to burn her. “The guy…what did he look like?”

Clem frowned, trying to remember. “He was wearing military clothes. Greying brown hair, really thin on top.”

Steph swore quietly. “Ugly guy. Green handkerchief around his neck.”

“That’s the one.” Clem nodded. “He, um, mentioned you.”

“Fucking _Roger.”_ Steph winced. “Don’t tell me what he said. I can imagine that it wasn’t…great.”

“Yeah.” Clem frowned. “You said his name was Roger? How did you know him?”

“Was?” Steph raised her eyebrows, a spark of hope in her chest. “What do you mean ‘was’?”

“He’s dead.” Clem shrugged nonchalantly. “We killed him.”

“Holy shit.” Steph’s shoulders sagged with relief. “You killed Roger?”

“I won’t take credit.” Clem smiled indulgently. “It was all AJ.”

“AJ?” Steph’s mouth dropped open. “That sweet little boy? Wow. What a fucking badass.”

Clem nodded in agreement before her face set. “But how did you know this guy? He has associates, we know that much. They were listening through the talkie until we removed the batteries.”

“The Disciples.” Steph whispered.

“The _Disciples?”_ The red-haired girl scoffed. “What are they, a fucking cult?”

“Ruby!” Clem admonished. “Let her tell us.”

“You’re not wrong.” Steph said weakly, crossing her arms. “They are pretty much a cult.” She pursed her lips as she figured out how best to explain them. “They’re an ex-military group. My…my dad used to be in their squad. They were his _friends,_ once. But when _this_ all started and the dead started walking around, it drove them all a little crazy.”

“My dad’s best friend, Phil…he was an ex-Christian who lost his faith after seeing the horrors of war and his wife got diagnosed with cancer, and he was looking for a sign to regain his faith. His wife died. But then she woke up.” Steph’s lip trembled. “Angie…she was a good woman. She used to babysit me when I was little…” Her voice cracked.

“Go on.” Clem urged softly, reaching out to lay a comforting hand on her arm. “We need to know about these people, if they’re a threat. Any information helps.”

Steph nodded, taking a shuddering breath. “Angie woke up, but of course, she wasn’t…really Angie. She was one of _them._ And Phil…Phil thought it was the sign he was looking for. He thought that God was punishing him for his crimes on the battlefield by making his wife come back as a twisted monster. He thought humanity deserved it. It drove him insane. He became hell-bent on…accepting this new world that God gave us. He was always a natural-born speaker. And he was their sergeant, so…I don’t know how, but he got the other guys in the squad to believe it, the same way _he_ did.” She said bitterly. “Even my dad believed it, for a while. My dad was his second-in-command.”

“So, the Disciples…” Louis said haltingly. “This guy, Phil, leads them?”

“Yeah. He’s like their fucking _messiah.”_ Steph spat hatefully. “He believes that God sent this _plague_ to bring about a new population of humans, stronger and more ruthless than before. A more extreme Noah’s Ark. It started off as just the military families. So, my mom and I were part of the original group. So was Phil’s daughter, Mags. _Magdalena,_ I mean. Over time, he recruited more people. But his inner council have always been the same eight from their squad.” She started counting on her fingers. “Phil, my dad – I mean, _Henry,_ Jacob, Franklin, Vernon, Peter, Mason…and Roger.”

“And Henry left them?”

“Right.” Steph nodded gravely. “They liked to paint themselves as…these pinnacles of law. The perfect specimens. It was very traditional, on the surface. The men would go out to hunt, the women were there to look pretty, cook and clean. It doesn’t sound too bad in theory. But they were nothing more than murdering, torturing, _rapist_ sons of-” She cut herself off, taking a deep breath. Clem, Louis, and Ruby were rapt on her words. “We stayed with them for around two years. Then Emmie was born, and…my dad realised it wasn’t safe. He didn’t want his daughters to be raised in a place like that. He was never fully on board with Phil’s decisions, anyway. So we left in the middle of the night.”

“Phil wasn’t happy. Like I said, my dad was his second-in-command. But what that really meant was that my dad did all of the hard survival decisions while Phil got to sit back and take all of the credit. The only decisions that Phil made were the ones that included violence. My dad never believed in that. But…Phil was his best friend. Over the years, my dad kept hoping of going back to him, hoping that he’d return and find that Phil was back to normal, the guy we loved. The kind, funny, _pacifist_ guy who used to take me to the carnival every year for my birthday. So…we went back two years ago, after about four years of travelling. Phil welcomed us with open arms, and we picked up right where we left off. My dad was fooled for a while. So was I. But…” She shook her head, unable to continue.

“What happened, Steph?” Clem spoke in hushed tones.

“I…” Steph’s eyes misted over, and her voice cracked, pain flaring through her chest like a knife twisting in her heart. “Do I have to tell you the whole story? We left again. Phil found us again. That’s all that you need to know, right?”

“Of course.” Clem told her quickly. “You’ve been a great help. Thank you, Steph.”

“These aren’t good people.” Steph said firmly. “You’re in serious danger.”

“I have one more question.” Louis blurted. Steph raised an eyebrow at him.

“Shoot.” She told him. “I can’t promise I’ll answer, but…it’s worth a shot.”

“Where _are_ your mom and dad?” Louis asked, crossing his arms. “I mean, when I met Henry, I got the feeling that he’d do anything to protect you and Emily. Where is he?”

“Ah.” The knife in her heart twisted again, threatening to tear open her chest. She looked at her hands, swallowing thickly. When she opened her mouth to speak, it came out in a broken whisper. “They’re gone. They’re…dead. The Disciples killed them.”

“Shit!” Louis’s eyes widened in distress. Clem swatted his arm lightly, her face falling in an upset frown. “Fuck, I didn’t mean to…I’m sorry. I thought maybe you’d just got separated, and…fuck, I’m an idiot. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Steph managed a weak smile. “Sometimes _I_ think we’re just separated, too. I didn’t think anyone could kill my dad, but…I was wrong.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” Clem said sympathetically. She patted Steph’s arm again. “You’re welcome to stay with us, if you want. I’ll have to get the rest of the group’s approval, but I’m sure they won’t mind.”

Warmth fluttered in Steph’s chest. That was so kind of her to offer. Steph wouldn’t have blamed Clem if she thought she was a threat to the group. “I…yeah. If you’ll have us, I…”

Steph was cut off by a knock on the door.

Clem straightened her posture, all business. “Yeah?”

“It’s just me.” A soft voice came from the other side of the door. “I thought that Stephanie might need some clean clothes, so…I grabbed some for her. She can have some of mine. I’m probably the closest fit.”

“Ah!” Clem lit up, a grin crossing her face. Steph realised that…yes, she absolutely needed new clothes. Hers were completely filthy. “Yeah, come in, Vi!”

The door creaked open and a blonde girl poked her head in. “Is she awake?” She asked, hesitantly. She seemed shy, but for some reason Steph got the feeling that this girl wasn’t _always_ shy. No, this was a recent development.

“I sure am.” Steph cleared her throat. The girl jumped at her unfamiliar voice.

“Oh, shit!” She said, alarmed, and took a few feather-light steps into the room. “Hi. I’m…Violet.”

“Steph, but you knew that already.” Steph held her hand out in greeting, but Violet simply blinked. Her pale green eyes shifted from surface to surface, seemingly unable to focus on anything. “Um…hello?”

“Stephanie,” Ruby said gently. “Violet is blind. She can’t see that you’re holding your hand out.”

“Oh!” Steph retracted her hand, embarrassed. “Shit, I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be.” An awkward smile crossed Violet’s face. Upon further inspection, Steph realised that it was fairly obvious that she was blind. While she had thought Violet just had really unique pale green eyes, it actually seemed that her eyes were clouded over, a milky film covering her irises. “I…I can navigate pretty well for a blind girl. I can see variations in light, so…”

“That’s cool!” Steph said, injecting some enthusiasm into her voice. “It…you know, that’s really impressive. That you can…make your way round, I mean.”

Violet’s smile turned cool. “Thanks, I think?”

“Vi.” Clem said softly, reaching out and touching Violet’s arm. “Don’t take it the wrong way.”

“Yeah, sure.” Violet felt her way over to the dresser, placing the bundled clothes on the wooden surface. “I’ll just…leave these here, okay? I’m going to head back outside.”

“Vi…” Clem tried to grab the girl’s wrist, but she was gone. She sighed and turned to Steph. “I’m sorry about her. She…gets insecure, sometimes.”

“Really? Why? I mean, she’s survived this long! That’s super cool.” Steph said, and she meant it.

“I know, but…” Clem hesitated. “Violet wasn’t always blind. It’s a new thing, like my leg. Vi used to be one of our hunters, so…obviously she can’t do that anymore. She doesn’t think that just _surviving_ is worthy of praise, you know?”

“Oh.” Steph caught her breath in understanding. “She feels…useless.”

“Right.” Clem nodded. “I’ll let her tell you the story, one day. When she’s ready.”

“Yeah…no.” Steph grimaced. “No, I think I fucked that up. Sorry, I know it’s easiest when everyone gets along…”

“She’ll get over it.” Clem said confidently. “Trust me, she’s my best friend. I know what she’s like.”

“If you say so.” Steph shrugged doubtfully. “I suppose I had best go and find my sister.”

“Um, Stephanie, hold on one second…” Ruby said, but Steph was already shifting her weight to get up.

She stopped as white-hot pain flared through her knee. “Ow, fuck!”

“Yeah…” Ruby winced.

“Why does my leg hurt so much?” Steph hissed through her teeth. “Ow, Jesus. That stings like hell.”

“It seems like you got shot in the leg.” Clem answered, glancing at the mound of Steph’s knee under the blanked. “Ruby says your knee is broken.”

“Damn.” Steph gritted her teeth. “Well, fuck you too, Mason. How bad is it?”

“You may never get full use of that leg back.” Ruby said sympathetically. “The kneecap is completely shattered. Luckily, the bone fragments aren’t displaced, so you won’t need surgery, but…I’ve put it in a cast, and I’ll check up on it in another couple of months. Hopefully, it’ll heal okay.”

“Fuck.” Steph leaned back against the headboard.

“It could be worse.” Clem offered, patting her own leg, where the limb was missing from the tibia down. “Could be an old peg-leg like me.”

Steph allowed herself to crack a smile. “I guess so. So…am I stuck in bed for the foreseeable future?”

“We have an old wheelchair lying about somewhere.” Louis answered. “That is, if you’re not stubborn. Unlike _some_ people.” He narrowed his eyes at Clem, who raised her hands in defence.

“I’m not stubborn.” Steph heaved a sigh of relief. “The wheelchair would be…it’d be great, thanks.”

“On it.” Louis stood up promptly, kissing Clem’s forehead before leaving the room with a wink and a smile.

Clem rolled her eyes, a sappy smile playing on her lips, before she turned serious and turned to Ruby.

“Group meeting?” Ruby asked, crossing her arms.

“Group meeting.” Clem agreed.

* * *

The Ericson kids sat, riveted, around the fire, as Steph told them everything she’d told the others. About the Disciples. About Phil, and his motives. About the grave danger they were in. When she was done, a stricken silence fell over the group. They were all scared, Steph realised. She could see it in their eyes. _Well, you should be,_ she thought. _This isn’t a game._ Emily was curled up on the old couch between her and Clem, sleeping with her head in Steph’s lap.

“These _Disciples_ …they have military training?” Omar looked worried, his eyes darting between each person in the group, assessing their skills. His face fell in misery. “We’re just kids. We won’t be able to fight them.”

“Shit.” Aasim pinched his nose, closing his eyes in frustration. “I said we wouldn’t be able to handle another attack after the Delta. I said, didn’t I?”

“Hush now.” Ruby reached out to take her boyfriend’s hand, an action that visibly calmed him down. “We don’t know that they’re going to attack yet.”

“Maybe…” Willy’s face was pale in the glow of the fire and the setting sun. “Maybe we could make a run for it. They know we’re here. We could leave.”

“We’re _not_ leaving!” Violet blurted. “Look, Ericsons may be a shithole, but it’s _home,_ okay?”

“It might end up being the only option, Vi.” Louis shot back; reluctance etched into his face. “I don’t want to go either, but…”

“We can’t just fucking _run!”_ Violet argued. AJ nodded in agreement.

“I don’t want to leave either.” He exclaimed. “Me and Clem have been running for so long…we’ve finally found a home, and we don’t want to go.”

“I know, little dude.” Louis nodded sadly. “But…”

Violet clutched her hair in irritation. “Having a home means defending it, Louis! We-”

“Enough.” Clem cut the squabbling off harshly, her shoulders tense and her face tight with despair. “Fighting won’t get us anywhere. We need a plan.” She turned to Steph. “You know them best. What are your ideas?”

Steph hesitated. “I…I don’t know. I told you, they kept women out of the fighting and hunting aspect. I never got to know their strategies.”

Clem’s shoulders sagged and she nodded, dismayed. “Shit.” She said, her voice quavering. She looked incredibly vulnerable – as though she’d regressed to the moment the world ended, more like a girl of eight than a girl of sixteen. In that moment, she neither looked nor felt like a leader.

“Hey.” Louis wrapped his arm around her, pulling her close. His face crumpled with worry. He hated seeing her this upset. “Hey, babe – it’s okay. We’ll figure something out. I promise.” Steph looked away – it was a moment of intimacy between the pair, it didn’t feel right to look at them.

“Right.” Clem pulled away with a tense inhale through her teeth. “First things first, Steph and Emily. I’ve offered for them to stay with us, but I didn’t want it to just be my decision. What are your thoughts?”

“I think they should stay.” AJ declared. “First rule of survival is never go alone. And Emily is my friend.”

“Steph’s leg is fucked, and Emily is only a little girl.” Ruby put forward. “They’ll never make it out there on their own.”

Willy looked doubtful. “But…these raiders want them.”

“Right.” Aasim glanced at the fire, remorseful. “We might be putting a target on our backs if we keep them here.”

“That target is _already_ on our back.” Louis objected. He looked irritated. “We killed one of their men. We’ve gotta be on their shit-list already.”

“They almost killed Violet last time.” Willy retorted. He didn’t look happy at the idea of leaving the sisters to die, but he was more focused on Violet. “They might be more prepared next time.”

“They _might_ kill me next time.” Violet said quietly, her milky eyes focused on the flickering fire. Steph wondered if she could see the warm glow in her periphery, or if her eyesight was dim in the setting sun.

“No, we’ve taken precautions.” Omar objected. “Remember, none of us sleep alone anymore. And the ivy is gone, and there are bars on the windows…Vi, it won’t be like last time.”

“You don’t know that.” Violet hissed. “You weren’t there when the guy almost killed me. Next time-”

“You’re assuming there _is_ a next time.” Louis argued.

“We’ll take a vote.” Clem insisted. “Raise your hand if you think it’s in our best interest to send them away.”

Three hands raised.

Aasim, Willy, and Violet.

Clem nodded once, her face relaxing. “And if you want them to stay?”

Five hands.

Clem, Louis, Ruby, AJ, and Omar.

Relief flooded Steph's body. They were staying.

“Five to three.” Louis said quietly. His eyes fell on Emily, fast asleep on Steph’s lap, and his face softened. He looked pleased.

Clem smiled weakly at the sisters.

“Welcome home.”


	13. walking around on those...what do you call them? oh, feet!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Willy begs Clem to test out her new prosthetic, and enlists Louis to help him bring her confidence up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is the title a shameless disney reference? why yes, yes it is.

“So, how does it feel?” Willy stood beside Clem, wringing his hands nervously and inspecting the new wooden digit attached to Clem’s stump. He leant down to adjust the leather straps, pulling them taut against Clem’s thigh to ensure as little shifting as possible. “Is the fit too tight? Too loose? How about the length?”

“The fit is great! Super comfortable.” Clem lied, leaning against the lunch table to keep herself upright. Well, it wasn’t exactly a lie. The fit and length _were_ perfect. It just wasn’t particularly comfortable. At all. The carved top of the prosthetic was unpadded and was already beginning to chafe against the not-quite-healed skin that extended across the underside of her stump. She made a mental note to teach Willy how to sew like she had promised, so they could create some cushioning to soften the blow. She would have done it by now, but with the excitement – read, _stress_ – of the past few weeks, what with the attack from the Disciples and Steph’s reappearance, she had just forgotten. As well as sore, she also felt strangely off-balance. Having used crutches for nearly two months now, she was now accustomed to adjusting her weight distribution to not fall over. Balancing on her own two feet again was going to be…weird. But she forced an excited smile, for his benefit. “Seriously, Willy, it’s incredible. Thank you!”

Any doubt on the kid’s face melted away as his face cracked into a gap-toothed grin. “You’re welcome! Are you going to try it out? Give me a few steps!”

“Um…” Clem faltered. She didn’t think she could. Not out here, not in the courtyard, with everyone watching her and the pressure of them wanting her to succeed so much. “Do you mean…out here?”

“Yeah! Why not?” Willy swung his arms childishly. “I wanna see if it works!”

Clem didn’t speak, her eyes darting around the crowded courtyard. It was a beautiful day out, and everyone was enjoying the sun while it lasted. It was getting into colder months, after all, and soon they wouldn’t have the luxury of a warm breeze and sunshine. No, she definitely couldn’t test the prosthetic out here, not with everyone around. She couldn’t let them see her fall.

“Clem?” Willy hesitantly reached out to touch her arm. Her gaze met his in defeat, and his eyes widened in understanding. “Oh. Nobody’s looking, you know. They’re all working. Look, they haven’t even noticed that I’ve finished your leg.”

“But they will.” Clem shook her head. “They’ll look over, and they’ll notice me…struggling. I can’t deal with that, kiddo.”

“Hm.” Willy crossed his arms, deep in thought. He looked around the courtyard, trying to figure out how best to help Clem alleviate her nerves. His eyes lit up as he caught sight of a certain beige coat and an idea popped into his head. “Wait here!” He told her, bouncing on the balls of his feet before racing off.

“Uh, okay?” Clem watched as he approached Louis, who turned to him with a friendly grin which quickly melted into an expression of concern as Willy spoke to him, gesturing wildly. Louis glanced up, his eyes meeting Clem’s from across the courtyard, and he frowned, cocking his head to the side.

 _“You okay?”_ He mouthed across the yard. Clem shrugged, still clinging on to the edge of the table. Louis sighed visibly and turned back to Willy, who was pointing in Clem’s general direction, and he nodded at something the kid said, adjusting the collar of his jacket as he was prone to do when idle. Willy grabbed his arm, tugging him over to the lunch table.

“Hey.” A smile touched Louis’s lips as the two boys joined Clem. “I-”

“I’m fine.” She cut him off. “Don’t worry about me.”

“Hey, maybe I just want to hang out with you!” Louis placed a hand on his heart, mock wounded. His eyes softened when she didn’t even crack a smile. “Clem…”

“I know, okay?” She sighed.

He cocked his head to the side, thinking. “You want a piggy-back ride?”

“Um…” Clem frowned, confused. She wanted to decline, but something in Louis’s eyes made her decide against it. “Sure…?”

“Sweet.” Louis knelt in front of her, back facing her. “Come on then, love.”

Clem hesitantly let go of the table, quickly snaking her arms around his neck so as to not lose balance. He hooked his hands around her thighs, hoisting her into the air. Her new wooden appendage stayed firmly attached to her stump. “Uh, what exactly are we doing?”

“We’re going somewhere quiet so you can practice.” Willy blurted.

Clem stiffened. “Willy…” She exhaled heavily, resting her cheek on Louis’s back.

“You need to learn! You can’t be on crutches forever!”

“He’s right, Clem.” Louis supplied, squeezing her thigh reassuringly. He carried her to the makeshift graveyard, Willy following close behind. It was silent, the only noise coming from the breeze rustling through the overhanging trees. The three of them were totally alone.

“Down you go,” Louis slackened his grip, allowing Clem to slide to the ground. Her hand scrabbled for something to grip onto to keep her balance, eventually landing on Willy’s shoulder. Louis paced backwards, leaving about two meters between them.

“I got you.” The boy reached up and steadied her by propping up her back. With a flash of pain through her heart, she was taken back to a time that she was in Willy’s place – holding Lee up, helping him across the pawnshop as he leant on the cracked glass case, blood staining the makeshift bandage on the stump of his arm. She blinked, and she was back home in the graveyard. Willy glanced up at her. “I’ll hold you up. See if you can take a few steps towards Louis.”

Clem furrowed her brow, her thighs quivering with effort, as she delicately lifted her good leg. Her head spun as her balance shifted, and she lurched forward.

“Whoa, whoa!” Louis’s hands shot out towards her. He was too far away to stop her from falling, though she wouldn’t have needed his assistance anyway as her grip on Willy’s shoulder allowed her to keep her footing.

“I got it.” She said through gritted teeth, bringing her foot down to rest on the dirt ground, around ten centimetres ahead of where it was before. Trembling, she lifted her new leg to follow. Willy moved with her, letting out a yell of excitement when both feet were safely on the ground.

“You took a step!” Willy whooped, patting her back enthusiastically.

It was a small step, but a step nonetheless.

“Yeah, I did!” Clem allowed a small bubble of hope to rise in her chest. Could she really do this? Could she really learn how to walk again so soon after losing her leg?

“Holy shit! Great job, sunshine!” Louis cheered. His face was bright, happy, excited. She’d…never seen him this excited. He could barely keep still in his joy. “See if you can take another one!”

Clem grunted with determination as she took a bigger step towards him. Then another one.

“Come on, babe.” Louis crooned playfully, opening his arms. His voice raised in pitch as though he was talking to a toddler about to take her first steps. “You can do it!”

“Louis, shut the fuck up.” Clem groaned, but she couldn’t stop the giggle from escaping her lips as she took another step. “You’re _not_ helping.”

“I’d say I am.” Louis shrugged. A cocksure smile decorated his face. “C’mon, Clemmy. I’m making you laugh, aren’t I? That’s a win in my book.”

“You are, and I _hate_ it.” She faked an exasperated eye roll that could rival Violet’s. “And _don’t_ call me Clemmy.”

He laughed and blew her a kiss. “Love you!”

“Ew.” Willy shuddered, tightening his hold on Clem’s back. “Gross.”

Louis snickered. “You may think that now, Willy, but you’re almost at the age where girls are the only thing on your mind. Trust me, we’ve all been there.”

“What girls?” Willy wrinkled his nose. “There aren’t any girls here.”

“Hey, what does that make me?” Clem nudged him very gently, taking another step. “Or Ruby, or Violet? Or even Steph?”

“Uh!” Willy stammered, his grip slackening. “Not that you’re not a girl, but you’re _old!”_

“Gee, thanks!” Clem spluttered in disbelief, looking incredulously at Louis, who was laughing his ass off. “I’m not even seventeen yet, kiddo!”

“That’s not what I meant! You're older than _me,_ that's all I mean!” Willy’s face turned beet red in mortification and he came to an abrupt stop. Clem wasn’t expecting him to halt and misjudged her next step, letting out a quiet squeal as her real ankle twisted underneath her, her leg contorting under pressure as she collapsed to the ground.

“Ow!” She hissed, gently touching her knee, which had made contact with the rough soil, the skin breaking on impact. She winced as a few drops of blood welled up on the scrape.

“Shit, I’m sorry!” Willy blurted frantically, kneeling next to her and inspecting her leg. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” She swiped her thumb against the cut, wiping the blood away. She shrugged nonchalantly. “It’s just a scrape. No biggie. I’ve had worse injuries.”

“That’s putting it lightly.” Louis quipped half-heartedly. Clem glanced up at him. His brown eyes were warm and concerned. “You sure you’re okay? You didn’t sprain your ankle or break your leg or anything?”

“Stop being a worrywart,” Clem grumbled as Willy helped her to her feet. Her ankle did ache a little – she must have twisted it or pulled a muscle – but it wasn’t too bad. “I’m fine.”

Louis sighed. “You okay to try again?”

A lively glint flashed in Clem’s eye. “Fuck yeah.”

* * *

It was around six in the afternoon when they finally ceased ‘walking lessons’ for the day. Dinner was already underway, and their absence had been noted.

“What do you think they could be up to?” Ruby asked, concerned. She rested her cheek in her hand, deep in thought. “I’m starting to get worried. Willy usually comes running at even the _smell_ of food. It’s not like him to be late.”

“What trouble could they have gotten into?” Violet shrugged nonchalantly, picking at her meal. “What, you think they’ve been secretly kidnapped or something while we’ve been looking away?”

“It’s a possibility!” Ruby insisted, gesturing with her spoon. “We don’t know! What with the _Disciples-”_

“No, Violet’s right,” Steph said quickly. Violet didn’t say anything, merely pressing her lips into a tight line. She didn’t know why, but something about Steph…really rubbed Violet the wrong way. Vi supposed she just didn’t trust her. “It’s not the Disciples style to just kidnap like that. Not secretly, anyway. They like to make it obvious and send a message.”

“Strategies change,” Ruby argued.

“Clem’s not in danger,” AJ said confidently. “I’d feel it _here_ if she was.” He touched his chest, right above his heart.

“Maybe it’s something to do with Clem’s new leg?” Omar suggested. “Willy told me a few days ago that he was really close to finishing it.”

“I guess, but why would they need Louis for that?” Violet shook her head in confusion.

Ruby opened her mouth as if to worry again but caught sight of something across the courtyard. Three figures, walking slowly and carefully. Her eyes lit up and she shot to her feet. “Holy shit, Clem! You’re _walking!”_

“Yeah. Kind of.” Clem chuckled lightly, limping slowly towards the table. She was being supported on both sides by Louis and Willy, both of whom were smiling proudly.

“Wait, what?” Violet’s mouth dropped open and she whipped her head in the direction of Clem’s voice, but of course, she couldn’t see. “You’re walking?”

The table erupted in an explosion of excited chatter.

“Holy shit!”

“You finished the prosthetic?”

“That’s incredible!”

“Willy, you did a great job!”

“Don’t get your hopes up too much.” Clem chided softly. “I’m still really slow, and I can’t walk on my own yet. I can’t walk for too long, either. I can only take, like, three steps at a time.”

“She fell every time she tried any more than that.” Willy supplied.

“Thanks, kid.” Clem rolled her eyes. Louis carefully helped her down onto the bench. She heaved a sigh of relief, and he sat beside her. She blushed as her stomach growled. “God, I’m starving.”

“I’ll bet.” Omar shook his head wonderingly. “Must be hungry work, Clem. It must have taken a lot of energy, right?”

“You have no idea,” Clem said wearily.

“We’ll have you up and hunting in no time.” Aasim teased lightly. “Maybe you can bring all of the game out.” His face turned serious and he glanced at the meagre stew that Omar had made. He was still having trouble hunting, and Clem knew it was only going to get worse.

“Hey, hold your horses. It’ll still be a while before I can walk on my own.”

“Still.” Aasim shrugged. “I guess congratulations are in order.”

“I’m just glad that I’ll be able to run, if it comes to it.” Clem sighed.

A sombre mood overcame the table.

“Hey now, don’t be like that.” Ruby scolded. She turned to Clem and her face brightened. “Clem, this is great news! I wasn’t expecting you to be up and walking for, like, another six weeks at least. That’s how long it said in the medical journals.”

“I’m a medical miracle.” Clem held her hands out as if seeking praise.

“All hail Clem, the medical miracle.” Violet raised her spoon in a mock toast. “Hey, where even _were_ you? Ruby said she looked all over for you.”

“Graveyard,” Clem said quietly. “I needed some peace and quiet. Couldn’t do it with everyone watching.”

“Oh.” Ruby blinked. “I…don’t actually know why I didn’t check there. Must have slipped my mind.”

“I’m glad you didn’t,” Clem told her honestly. “I needed to do this alone. Well-” She shook her head and grinned gratefully at Willy and Louis. _“Mostly_ alone. Thank you. Both of you.”

"No problem!" Willy looked extremely proud of himself.

Louis leaned across and kissed her cheek. “Any time, sunshine. Any time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey!!! i did some fanart based off of chapter nine - the kids in the piano room! check it out [here](https://artisan-evenfall.tumblr.com/post/628263050755162112/wonderfully-ordinary-foreverevenfall-the#_=_) and let me know what y'all think :D
> 
> i hope to add a drawing of steph and emily soon, so you guys can have an idea of what they looked like :)


	14. i'm not yours, and you're not mine, but we can sit and pass the time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clem has a word with Violet, and Louis organises a game of War to get to know their new member better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all want some violet-centric chapters? cuz i do. i love that girl.
> 
> this chapter and the next one will be focused on her.

The scent of flowers was… _overpowering._

Violet sighed, closing her eyes. She was just trying to have a quiet moment to herself, alone in the room she shared with Ruby.

She didn’t get quiet moments very often.

“Clem, I can’t _see_ them.”

“I know.” A melodic voice came from somewhere on her left side. “But they smell nice, don’t they?”

“Well…I guess they do.” Violet reached out and stroked one soft petal with her index finger. She bit back a smile. “They’re violets, right?”

“Yep,” Clem said proudly, and Violet felt the mattress dip as she sat down beside her. She subconsciously shifted towards the warmth emanating from her best friend’s body. “Louis and I found a thatch of them in the forest, and I thought I’d bring them back for you. They’re pretty.”

“Fuck. Of course.” Violet shook her head playfully, ignoring the wrench in her gut. _“So_ predictable.”

“You know me,” Clem said softly. Violet could feel the gentlest of touches on her face, carefully brushing her hair away from her poor, ruined eyes. The smell grew stronger, a purple blur flashed across her misted vision, and a petal fleetingly tickled Violet’s nose, making her sneeze. “Oops. Bless you.” Clem giggled lightly, before her hand moved away and Violet felt the warm air of a quiet sigh on her face. “There.”

“Huh?” Violet reached up to touch her hair, feeling the soft stem of her namesake flower tucked neatly behind the shell of her ear. Her face burned, and she realised with great embarrassment that she was blushing. “Oh…thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Clem snickered before falling silent. “Um…look, I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Oh no…” Violet groaned under her breath. “What have I done now?”

She was expecting a denial. _No, Vi, you haven’t done anything. Don’t worry, it’s about something else._

But instead, Clem hummed awkwardly, trying to figure out how to put it. “So…it’s been a week since Steph and Emily got here. And you still haven’t warmed up to them.”

“Oh.” Violet sighed in frustration and made a move to leave, but a hand shot out in front of her and prevented her from getting to her feet.

“Vi,” Clem said warningly. “Let me talk.”

Violet crossed her arms. “Okay then, _talk.”_

“I don’t know what’s gotten into you.” Clem huffed in annoyance. “Why are you acting like this? You’re not usually so quick to judge.”

“I just don’t trust her.” Violet shook her head. “Something about her rubs me the wrong way. It’s suspicious, right? We get attacked and then she shows up out of nowhere a week later? I mean, we know she’s involved with these people. Maybe it’s a plot.”

“You think Steph deliberately caused possible _permanent_ damage to her knee just so she could plot against us? That’s something that could kill her somewhere down the line, Vi. Do you really think that she did it to hurt us?”

A flash of guilt seared through Violet’s gut. “No…I mean, I don’t know. Maybe.”

_“Violet.”_

“What?”

Clem sighed. “I just don’t get it. Why didn’t you act this way when you met me? Because _I_ showed up, then AJ killed Marlon, then _I_ led the Delta to the front gates. You had no reason to trust me, but you got so pissed off when everyone voted for us to leave. Why? What makes me so different to her?”

“Because…” Violet gulped and glanced down at her hands. Even though she couldn’t see Clem’s gaze, she could feel the intensity raking over her skin.

_Because I had a crush on you. Because I still have a crush on you, three months later. Because knowing that my two best friends are dating absolutely kills me inside even though I’m so happy for you._

Violet took the flower from her hair, twisting it around in her fingers in distress. The stem broke and it fell apart in her hands, petals cascading through her hands. Her heart dropped. Just another thing she’s broken.

“You _know_ why.”

“Vi…” Clem’s voice turned soft, sympathetic.

Smooth fingertips touched the back of Violet’s hand. She turned her palm up, allowing Clem to thread their fingers together. Her hand was small in Violet’s, her thumb soft as it rubbed comforting circles on her skin.

“Sorry,” Violet whispered shakingly. “I’m really sorry.”

“I know you are.” Clem hushed her. “I know.”

An arm snaked around Violet’s back, and she leaned her head on Clem’s shoulder with a sigh.

“I haven’t told Louis,” Violet admitted in a small voice. “That I still have…feelings for you. He’d beat himself up if he knew.”

“I know,” Clem repeated soothingly. Her hand smoothed down Violet’s hair. “You’re my best friend, Vi. I hate seeing you all beat down like this.”

Violet sniffled in response.

“Do you…really think Steph isn’t to be trusted?” Clem asked in a quiet voice. “I trust you; you know. If you think something is off, then I won’t take it lightly. I just need to know if that’s really how you feel.”

“I don’t know.” Violet felt her face scrunch up in thought. “I thought I did, but…no, not anymore. I think you’re right about her. Maybe I’m just…generally uneasy about the Disciples.”

“Then, can you do something for me?”

“For you? Anything.” Violet jested weakly, squeezing Clem’s hand.

“Can you…try? Try to make friends with her, I mean. I like her, for what it’s worth.” Clem supplied helpfully. “I’m a pretty good judge of character. I think she’s a good person.”

“Okay.” Violet nodded, swallowing thickly. “I will. I’ll try.”

* * *

They were just finishing supper later that evening when Louis brought the card deck out of his pocket with a knowing glint in his eye.

Aasim took one look and stood up abruptly. “Nope. Not playing.”

“Killjoy.” Louis blew a raspberry in his direction. His wide grin turned to Clementine. “Babe?”

“Sure.” She rested her elbows on the table with a small smile. “What are we playing tonight, Lou?”

“War, of course.”

Ruby rolled her eyes, getting up. “We’ve already got one war to prepare for, we don’t need another one.” She shook her head and laughed. “Sorry, but I’m beat. I’m going to bed.”

“I should probably head to bed too.” Omar got to his feet, clearing the bowls from the table. “And those two definitely should.” He gestured at Willy and AJ.

AJ pulled a face at him in protest. “No way.”

“No, he’s right.” Clem insisted, ruffling his hair. “Off to bed with you, goofball.”

“Ugh, fine.” AJ groaned reluctantly but wrapped his arms around her in a hug. “Love you.”

“See you in the morning, kiddo.” Louis ruffled Willy’s hair.

Steph cleared her throat, pushing away from the table in the collapsible wheelchair. “I guess that means Emily and I should head off, too.”

“Hold it!” Louis said in a sing-song voice, lightly grabbing the arm of the wheelchair to stop her leaving. “It’s tradition round here for us to play War with any newcomers. We want to get to know you, seriously.”

“A tradition?” Clem snorted. “Pretty sure that started when I came here, and Steph and Emily are the first newcomers since me and AJ.”

“Well, _now_ it’s a tradition.” Louis declared. “From this point onwards.”

Steph bit her lip, deliberating. “Um…I don’t know…” She cast a sideways glance at Emily, who was rubbing her eyes sleepily.

“I’ll take her up to bed, sug.” Ruby offered. “You stay down here and play with them.”

Steph opened her mouth to protest but Ruby was already helping Emily off of the bench, taking the little girl by the hand. “Oh, well…alright. I love you, Emmie. Sleep well.”

“Love-oo.” Emily mumbled under her breath, practically nodding off on the spot. Ruby laughed and ushered her up the steps with a final wave back at the four still seated.

Only Violet remained. Louis turned to her with an expectant glance. “Ultra-Violet?”

“Uh…” Violet shrank down, her shoulders hunching. “I’m not going to be much good in a card game, you know. Not with these eyes.”

“That’s fine. _We’ll_ be your eyes.” Louis shrugged. “Hold your card up to us and we’ll tell you if you’ve won.”

“Please, Vi?” Clem touched her arm. “This is a good chance to…you know, fulfil your promise.” Her voice lowered at the final words so only Vi could hear.

Violet swallowed, nodding. “Yeah, okay.”

“So, um…” Steph hesitated. “How do you play?”

“It’s easy. We all draw a card. Highest card wins and gets to ask you a question.” Clem explained. “If you get the highest card, you get to ask any one of us a question.”

“First question you think of.” Louis insisted. “No matter how personal.”

“Oh.” Steph snickered. “That’s…it? Wow, I was expecting something more than that.”

“Oh, trust me. I thought the same.” Clem agreed, smiling nostalgically.

Louis shuffled the cards, splitting them into equal quarters and handing them between the four of them. “I declare war!”

They each drew a card. Clem glanced around the table. Violet had the two of hearts, Steph had the seven of diamonds, Louis had the jack of spades – Clem grinned and brandished her queen of hearts.

“I got it!”

Steph laughed good-naturedly. “Lay it on me, your highness. What do you want to know?”

“Hm, okay.” Clem scratched her head, thinking. “If you could visit one place on Earth, where would you go?”

“Pre-walkers or post-walkers?” Steph queried. “We used to travel a lot with Dad’s military work, so…”

“Both.” Clem shrugged.

“Um, okay, so if we’re talking pre-walkers, I’d have to say Japan. Tokyo, specifically.” Steph crossed her arms, smiling wistfully. “I thought it looked so bright and colourful and beautiful. I always wanted to go there.”

“And post-walkers?”

“Home.” Steph sighed, nodding sadly. “California. I want to see my childhood house again.”

“I think that’s pretty universal.” Violet agreed. “I didn’t have good memories of home, but…I’d love to go back.”

“Maybe we will, one day,” Louis said optimistically. “We’ll find a car, and Clem will take us on a long-ass road trip across the country.”

Clem pulled a face. “Not with this leg, I won’t.” She stuck out her leg to prove a point, the carved wooden prosthetic gleaming in the candlelight. “I don’t think I’ll ever drive a car again.”

“Well…” Violet grinned impishly. “Is that such a bad thing? Considering your track record, and all…you’d probably kill us all in a car crash.”

Clem gasped in faux offence. “How dare you?”

“Alright, next card.” Louis nudged her.

They drew again.

“Vi, looks like you’re up,” Clem told her, inspecting the ten of clubs that the blonde girl was holding up.

“Oh, cool.” Violet nodded. “I’m going to ask the same thing I asked you.” She told Clem. “My favourite thing to ask.”

“Oh, no.” Clem giggled.

“Your question is fucked up, Vi!” Louis complained light-heartedly.

“Should I be worried?” Steph raised an eyebrow, but she was also laughing, not taking it too seriously. “Are you about to ask me some real invasive personal shit?”

“Not really.” Violet let a small smile creep onto her face. “Out of us three – me, Clem, and Louis – who do you think is going to die first?”

Steph didn’t even need to think about it.

“Louis.” She said instantly.

“Oh, come on!” Louis spluttered, a laugh escaping his lips. Clem cracked up, collapsing with laughter, and leaning into his side. Violet clapped a hand to her mouth to stifle her own laugh. “I agreed with it before, but now I’m up against an amputee and a blind girl, and you still think I’m going to die first?”

 _“Yes.”_ Clem insisted, elbowing him. “Babe, I’ve seen the way you are with a gun and a bow. You have no chance.”

Louis paused, his brain short-circuiting for a second.

_She called me babe._

_Holy shit. She called me **babe.**_

"Louis?"

“I…” He sighed, accepting her judgement of his survival skills with a joking roll of the eyes. “…yeah. You’re not wrong.” He wrapped his arm around Clem’s shoulder. “Bullied by my own girlfriend.”

“Aw, I’ll protect you, if it comes to it.” Clem teased lightly, gently butting her head against his. “I’ve done it before, and I’ll do it again.”

Violet grimaced at the PDA. “Okay, let’s draw again.”

This time, Steph reigned supreme with a king of spades. “Oh, look at that!” She crowed, grinning. “I win!”

“Your turn to quiz us, then.” Louis swept his arm around the table. “Ask away.”

“Okay, um…” Steph wracked her brain for questions. What did she want to know?

Her eyes caught sight of Violet’s face, the heavy burn scars and hazy white eyes illuminated by candlelight, and she knew what she wanted to ask. But she squashed it down. It finally seemed that Violet was warming up to her, and she didn’t want to ruin that.

“Um…” She turned to Louis and Clem. “How long have you been together?”

“Ah-ah-ah!” Louis wagged his finger in her direction. “I said it had to be the first question that came to your mind. What did you want to ask Violet?”

“I don’t want to offend her.” Steph protested.

“No, ask away.” Violet blurted, surprising even herself. “I…won’t be offended.”

And even more surprisingly, she meant it.

“You don’t have to answer, okay?” Steph told her, wanting to reach out a comforting hand. “I…I guess I wanted to know what happened to your eyes.”

Violet nodded. “I thought it would be that. Um…”

“Seriously, you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.” Steph said empathetically. “I’m just…nosy.”

“No, I want to answer.” Violet assured her. “It’s just a… _difficult_ topic.”

“Take your time.” Steph nodded.

“So, we recently had a conflict with a group called the Delta.” Violet began.

“Yeah, me and my family ran into that group, too. Nasty bunch, and that’s coming from someone who knew the Disciples.” Steph sighed. “Tried to recruit me as a soldier. It’s how I know a little about combat. I was, like, thirteen, at the time. We got away, though.”

“That sounds about right. They…kidnapped us. Me, Omar, and Aasim.” Violet winced as she remembered. “Clem and Louis and the others came to save us, but…I was kind of manipulated into being on their side.”

“Manipulated…how?”

“My, um, ex.” Violet clarified. “I thought she was dead, and it turned out she wasn’t, but she was one of them. I wanted to stay with her, so it was easy to believe in the Delta’s ideals.”

“Huh.” Something flashed in Steph’s eyes, but it was gone in a second. “Yeah, good food, hot showers, comfortable beds, it sounds great, right?”

“Besides the child soldier part.”

Steph nodded. “Besides the child soldier part.”

“So, uh…” Violet continued. “Like I said, these two fuckers came to save me.” She smiled good-naturedly. “They…planted a bomb on the boat.”

“A fucking bomb?” Steph whistled under her breath. “Damn, where did you get that?”

“Willy built it.” Louis interjected. “Combine fertilizer with something or other, and…well, yeah, you get a bomb.”

“Yeah, and I didn’t believe it.” Violet sighed. “My ex got hurt while we were trying to escape, and I was a naïve, brainwashed fool, and stayed with her.”

Steph’s brows furrowed. “Oh, no.” She said softly.

Violet’s voice crept down to barely a whisper. “I only just made it off of the boat in time.”

“Violet, I am so sorry.” Steph gasped.

“Don’t be.” The girl said weakly. “It…I was being an idiot.”

“I should have saved you, too.” Clem muttered under her breath.

“No,” Violet protested. “Then they would have caught Louis, and who knows what would have happened to him?”

“Um, let’s draw again.” Louis said quickly. “Let’s, uh, lighten the mood.”

He won, this time, a king of hearts between in his hand.

“Hey, look, babe, I got the king and you got the queen!” He nudged Clem.

“That’s cute.” Steph giggled.

“Speaking of cute…” Louis turned to Steph, a playful sparkle in his eye. “Is there anyone here that you find…attractive?”

“Louis!” Violet groaned.

Clem shook her head, laughing. “Should I be worried?”

“No way.” Louis insisted. “I only have eyes for you. I’m just curious to see who _Steph_ has eyes for, if anyone at all.”

Everyone turned to Steph expectantly, even Violet, who obviously couldn’t see her.

“Um, yeah, there’s definitely…someone.” She admitted.

“Oh-ho!” Louis’s face cracked into a grin. “Who? Who?”

“No way.” Steph shook her head. “Not telling you.”

“Aw, man…” Louis groaned in disappointment.

“Actually, um…” Steph cleared her throat and wheeled away from the table. “I’m gonna head up to bed.”

“Nice, Louis.” Violet hissed as Steph retreated, folding up her wheelchair and slowly, carefully, making her way up the front steps by clinging on tightly to the railing.

“What did I do?” Louis protested. “I only asked a question.”

“I wonder…” Clem pondered, watching as the front door shut.

“What is it?” Louis looked concerned.

Clem hesitated. “No, it’s probably nothing. Don’t worry about it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> poor violet :(
> 
> she's a good friend to not get in the way of clem and louis's relationship even though it hurts her.
> 
> you might be able to tell the direction i'm going with this lol, but maybe not. if you do, don't say it in the comments ;)
> 
> next chapter will be...really fuckin sad, just so you know. i'm just gonna put out a general trigger warning that i will specify when i publish chapter 15.


	15. so, you can keep me inside the pocket of your ripped jeans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clem, Aasim, and Louis go on a supply run. Violet accidentally damages something precious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> slightly shorter chapter today! next one will be pretty long though, i hope.
> 
> so...i'll actually go into steph's backstory NEXT chapter. that's when the trigger warning shit will be needed.

“You’re certain it was in that direction?” Clem inspected the map, her eyes following where Steph’s finger was pointing. The two girls were by the lunch table with Louis and Aasim, discussing supply run strategies.

“Positive. A days walk away, at most. Keep going north, and you couldn’t miss it.” Steph nodded confidently, gesturing somewhere above the scope of the map. She was leaning heavily on a cane, which she was using to support her damaged leg. “It was a whole, _huge_ shopping mall, and it looked almost untouched, besides a couple of walkers wandering about. I’m sure you’d be able to find plenty of supplies there, Aasim.”

“You didn’t go in?” Louis asked her, tracing the lines of the map.

Steph hesitated. “Um, my dad didn’t want to risk it. He wanted to get out of the area as quickly as possible. So, no, we didn’t go in.”

“So, we don’t actually know if it’s untouched or not?” Aasim sighed, crossing his arms. “That’s helpful. It’d be at least a day’s walk there, not including time to scavenge and then another day to get back. We’re looking at a minimum of two and a half days for supplies that might not even exist. Is it really worth it?”

“We have to try, right?” Clem shrugged.

“So…” Louis clapped Aasim on the shoulder. “Aasim and I will make our way to this shopping mall, then, and see what we can find.”

“I guess.” Aasim agreed. “Just…take it seriously, okay?”

Louis placed a hand on his heart, hurt. “I take everything seriously!”

Clem nodded. “I’ll come with you.”

“Uh, no.” Louis cut her off, shaking his head firmly. “You will stay right here. Not risking it.”

“Come on, Lou. I’m sick of being cooped up in the courtyard.”

Louis’s conviction wavered. He mentally cursed himself for being so swayed by her – but goddamn, he couldn’t say no to her. He tried again, feebly. “But your _leg.”_

“I’ve gotten so much better with it over the past week, look!” She demonstrated, walking in a neat circle. She didn’t even wobble or look the slightest bit uncertain in her ability. Her voice took on a coaxing tone and she drew her eyebrows up in a wounded expression. “I can pretty much walk on my own now.”

Louis blushed. “Don’t look at me like that.” He whined. “I can’t say no to you when you do that.”

“I know,” Clem said cheekily, bumping her hip against his. “Please, Louis? You’ll need as many people as possible to carry as much stuff as possible, right? We’re running low on everything; you need as much help as you can get.”

Louis tried to protest but found himself unable to. He sighed. “Fine, you can come. But promise me that if it gets to be too much, you’ll tell me, and I’ll head back with you.”

“Deal.” Clem agreed.

* * *

They all said their goodbyes to each other. Ruby pulled out of a hug with Aasim, wrapping her arms around Clem tightly. “Come back safe, hon.”

“Always.” Clem lifted her shoulder in a half-shrug, a lopsided smile crossing her face. “Nothing has killed me yet. I’ll be fine.”

“Do you have to go?” AJ crossed his arms, looking at the floor with an upset look on his face. “I’ll worry about you.”

“I know,” Clem said gently, kneeling down to his height. She placed a hand on his chin and tilted it up, so he was looking her in the eyes. “But I’ll be okay. I’ll have Louis and Aasim to look after me.”

AJ nodded, pouting. “Be really careful, okay?”

“Of course I will.” She assured him. “I love you, goofball.”

AJ threw his arms around Clem’s neck, sending her slightly off-balance. “Love you too.”

“You’re in charge when I’m away, okay?” She whispered playfully in his ear, drawing a giggle from him. “Keep them in line.”

AJ pulled away, biting the inside of his cheek thoughtfully, before turning to Louis and hugging him too. “You be careful too.” He insisted.

“I will, little dude,” Louis promised, patting his head. “I’ll make sure Clem is safe, too.”

Clem touched Violet’s arm tenderly. “Will you guys be okay while we’re away?” She asked.

Violet hesitated, allowing her lips to quirk up in a slight smile. “We’ll be fine.”

With a final wave, the three exited through the front gates. Willy watched them disappear into the trees from the watchtower, clambering down to stand with the others.

“They’ll be fine,” Steph told Ruby, who looked a little pale. “They’ll be absolutely fine.”

* * *

They’d been gone for three hours when Ruby approached Vi in their shared room, clearing her throat awkwardly to announce her presence. Violet was stroking her fingers through the flowers that Clementine had brought her a couple of days ago, sighing sadly at the wilting beneath her fingers.

“Vi?”

“Oh!” Vi placed down a flower quickly. “Hey, Ruby.”

“Hey, sug,” Ruby said warmly. “Sorry for interrupting, but I needed a hand with something. You mind helping me real quick? I promise it’ll only take a few minutes.”

“Um, okay.” Violet stood up, brushing pollen off of her hands and onto the floor. “What do you need?”

“I’m about to start laundry,” Ruby explained. Laundry was a thing that Ruby liked to do at least bi-weekly, and she usually enlisted Aasim to help her, but of course, he wasn’t there to help this time. “Can you go around everyone’s rooms and collect their dirty clothes?”

“Um…” Violet gestured at her face helplessly. “I won’t exactly know which clothes are dirty and which ones are clean.”

“I know, hon.” Ruby chuckled. “I’ve asked everyone to put their laundry in a pile on their dressers, so they should be easy enough to find. Could you grab them for me and bring them down to the lunch table so I can sort them?”

“Sure.” Violet shrugged. “No problem, I guess.”

“Thanks a bunch. I’ve already sorted ours, so don’t worry about that. I know that Steph has a lot of your old clothes, so I didn’t want to get them confused.”

“Thanks, Rubes.” Violet got up with a sigh, reaching out and trailing her fingertips along the wall to figure out her location. She entered the corridor. Everyone’s rooms were next to each other – something that had come about after the Disciples first attack. Her and Ruby shared the room on the very end. Violet felt her way along to Aasim and Omar’s room, which was next to the one she shared with Ruby.

Sure enough, their laundry was on the dresser, and she scooped it into her arms. It was a light pile, thankfully, which meant that she could probably take all of the laundry downstairs in one trip.

She wondered what was in the pile of Aasim and Omar’s clothes. _Probably a bunch of flannel shirts for Aasim_ , she thought with a smirk. Yes, she could feel the buttons and the embroidery in the fabric as she skimmed her fingers over it. 

AJ and Willy’s room yielded similar results, a small pile of what Violet assumed were graphic tee-shirts, as she felt the chipping, peeling, plastic-like vinyl on the front.

Clem and Louis’s room contained nothing special, just a couple of worn tee-shirts, some men’s jeans, and a pair of old girl’s gym shorts. Her pile was starting to get a little heavier now, but it wasn’t anything too unmanageable.

So that just left the newcomers.

Violet knocked quietly on Steph’s door. “Steph? Emily? Are you in there?”

No response.

“Um, I’m coming to get your laundry, okay?”

The door creaked as she opened it. Violet felt her way over to the dresser, her fingers fumbling over the wooden surface. Yes, there they were. She grabbed the clothes, adding it to her pile.

“Oh!” She jumped in surprise as the fabric caught on something and knocked it off of the desk, a stiff piece of paper that tickled her leg as it fluttered onto the floor. Violet cursed and carefully placed her pile of laundry on the lower bunk, crouching down and feeling blindly over the floor for what she had dropped. Something snagged on the wooden floor as she stepped on it, and she wrenched it out from under her foot.

“Score!” She hissed triumphantly as her fingers closed around the piece of paper. She brought it close to her fogged eyes, holding it in her periphery to try and decipher what it was.

_A photograph?_

“Violet?”

She jumped and stood up straight as a tapping noise and a curious voice came from behind her. That’s right – Steph had started using a cane for the times that she didn’t want to use a wheelchair. Ruby had said she needed to exercise that leg to build up muscle strength that had been lost with damage.

“Oh, hey, Steph! I was…I was just coming to grab your laundry.”

“That’s fine.” The new girl had a smile in her voice. “What do you have there?”

“Oh, um…” Violet stammered awkwardly, holding the photo out. “I…”

Steph’s footsteps grew louder and closer. Violet heard a sharp intake of breath and then a hand firmly grasped her arm.

“Steph-”

 _“You don’t ever touch that!”_ A noise that Violet could only describe as a snarl escaped from Steph. “Put it the fuck down, _now!”_

Violet did as she was told. The photograph fluttered to the ground.

“I’m sorry!” Violet jerked her arm from Steph’s grip, shaking her head in panic. She heard Steph’s knees touch the ground as she picked up the photograph. “I…I didn’t mean to pry.”

“You ripped it.” The girl’s voice was quiet, bewildered, which immediately became a horrible mix of distress and anger. _“You fucking ripped it!”_

She did? Oh no. It must have ripped when it snagged on the floor and Violet took it from under her foot. She cursed, reaching out to comfort Steph.

“Shit, I didn’t mean to-”

“Just go.” Steph’s voice grew muffled, as if she was burying her face in her hands. A sob tore from her throat. “Take the laundry and fucking _go!”_

Violet did as she was told, fumbling to the bed and picking up the pile of clothes. She wanted to apologise, to say how sorry she was, but something told her that would be a bad idea. “I’ll…take this down to Ruby, then.” She said, her voice quavering as she lingered in the door.

“Yeah, you should fucking do that,” Steph mumbled harshly. “Oh, and Violet?”

“Um…yeah?”

“Don’t _ever_ touch my shit again.” She hissed, slamming the door in the blind girl’s face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmm. why do you guys think the photo is so important to steph? who or what could it be? why did she get so angry at it being ripped?
> 
> also, if you want to know what steph and emily look like, i posted a lil drawing of them [here <3](https://artisan-evenfall.tumblr.com/post/628524839051886592/steph-and-emily-3-from-my-walking-dead-fanfiction)


	16. she said 'i'm sad', somehow without any words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Violet and Steph have a heart-to-heart. Aasim, Clem, and Louis run into some trouble at the mall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so...specific trigger warnings include rape, homophobia, and forced conversion, for steph's part of the story. it's...not great. if these topics are particularly triggering for you to read about in detail, i will write a tl;dr in the bottom of the chapter's notes for anyone who wants to skip the chapter. i don't want to make anyone uncomfortable while reading this <3
> 
> this chapter is also pretty evenly split between violet and steph's perspective vs louis and clem's perspective.

The supply runners had been walking for five hours when Louis caught sight of Clem’s pale face and noticed the limp in her stride, growing more pronounced with every step she took. They’d been taking water breaks every hour, but…his girlfriend was looking more tired by the second.

“Whoa, babe.” He said, worried, holding his hand out to halt her. “You okay? You don’t look so good. We can take a break if you need one.”

“Don’t worry about me.” Clem assured him, ignoring the sheen of sweat on her sheet-white skin and the pain that flared through her knee with every movement she made, the prosthetic rubbing her skin raw. “We have to keep going.”

Aasim turned back, but his serious face also melted to one of concern when he saw her condition. “We should make camp now anyway. It’s getting dark, and we definitely won’t make it to the mall before nightfall. It’ll give you chance to rest that leg, too.”

“I’m fine.” Clem insisted again. “It’s _nothing.”_

Her protests went unheard as the boys dropped their large rucksacks to the floor, Aasim withdrawing a pair of collapsible tents from his, and Louis pulling out some matches and preserved foods.

“I’ll go collect some firewood,” Louis offered, “If you put up the tents, Aasim.”

“Sounds good.” Aasim agreed.

Clem crossed her arms. “What do you want me to do?”

“Sit down, and don’t put any more stress on your leg.” Louis ordered, pointing to a fallen log, covered in squashy green moss. “And _don’t_ argue.” He called over his shoulder as he disappeared into the trees in search of firewood.

Clem wrinkled her nose, sitting down heavily on the log. She reached down to unstrap her prosthetic, but found herself struggling with the buckles. She must have fastened them too tight that morning.

“Fucking…goddamn it.” She muttered, screwing up her face in irritation. She attempted a couple more times, futilely scrabbling at the buckles, before giving up. She crossed her arms and stared at the dusty, mulchy ground for a few minutes, frustrated.

A pair of freckled brown hands entered her periphery. One hand rested on her good knee, rubbing circles on the fabric of her cargo pants. The other hand rolled up the hem of her pant leg and reached for the leather strap encircling her left knee.

“I got it.” Louis said softly, his fingers deftly working at the buckles.

Clem let out an unconscious sigh of relief as fresh air hit the red, healing skin of her stump. She massaged it to let the blood flow return to the area. “Thank you.”

“Anytime.” He leaned forward and kissed her cheek, leaning her prosthetic against the log. He stood up with a grunt and began arranging the firewood he had found.

“That was quick.” She told him.

“We haven’t had any rain.” He shrugged, setting them up in front of her and striking a match, holding it to the wood so the flame caught. He then sat down on the log next to her, idly placing a hand on her knee. “It was easy to find dry logs.”

Aasim joined them on the log, glancing over at the two small tents he had set up. “It’s not much, but at least it’s a roof over our heads.”

“It’ll do for tonight.” Clem waved him off, glancing at the food that Louis had brought out of his rucksack. “Come on, let’s eat. I’m starving.”

* * *

Violet’s ears pricked up as light footsteps fluttered past her, crunching in the gravel.

“AJ?”

“Hi, Violet!” The little boy greeted, a tinge of excitement in his voice. “I’m going fishing tomorrow!”

“Oh, good.” Fuck, how _she_ wanted to go fishing right now. To feel the cool water rushing through her toes, see the sunlight glittering on the river. But Violet pushed down the surge of jealousy that seared through her gut, trying to be happy for him. “Have fun!”

“Do you want to come with me? I know you won’t be able to fish, but it’d be nice to go for a walk, right?” AJ asked. Violet could picture the expression on his face, and the way he would bounce on the balls of his feet when he was excited.

“Um, okay.” She agreed. “Why not?”

Maybe it would take her mind off of the things that had transpired earlier that day.

She felt so guilty for that. She had tried to apologise to Steph after dinner but the other girl had promptly taken Emily upstairs to do something, and Violet hadn’t gotten the chance.

It was almost as if Steph was ignoring her.

* * *

“It should only be half an hour, at most.” Aasim announced the next day. It was almost noon, and they had gotten up at the crack of dawn to continue their journey. They were all exhausted. “Not much further.”

The forest was long behind them; they were now hiking their way through a dilapidated suburban hell. Rusted old cars littered the streets, decaying skeletons were their only company. In a twisted, sick, horrible way, it was almost…peaceful.

Aasim and Louis, who had not seen anything outside of the forests for years, had taken a while to get over their immediate shock at seeing ‘the outside world’, as Clem had worded it. It had been easy to paint a mental image of what the world outside of the school looked like.

Seeing it in person somehow made the effects of the walkers seem…permanent. So much for Tenn’s theory about ‘ages’.

“Wonder if the mall will have a food court,” Louis said playfully. “I’d kill for a hamburger right now.”

“Yum,” Clem replied dryly. “Eight-year-old hamburgers. Delicious.”

Aasim smirked. “I wouldn’t be surprised if they were still good to eat, considering how processed they were.”

They fell quiet for the next few minutes, taking in their surroundings.

Clem broke the silence.

“I wonder what _type_ of supplies we can expect. I’m hoping for bath products, personally. I’d love to find some shampoo or body wash.”

“I’d like some clean clothes.” Aasim inspected his grubby checked shirt. “Especially ones that actually fit the kids. They’re growing up fast, especially Emily. She’s put on a little weight since they arrived, thank god. She was like a skeleton.”

“It’d be nice to find some fuel.” Louis supplied. “There are generators in the basement – they run off of gas. It’d be nice to have power again.”

Aasim snorted. “Yeah, and how would we bring that back? Fuel would be heavy as fuck.”

“I know.” Louis sighed. “But it doesn’t hurt to dream, right?”

“Oh, I promised Willy I’d pick up some comics for him and AJ.” Clem remembered. “Poor kids. They’re getting bored as hell, back home.”

“Don’t forget, we need to find flour and cooking oil for those chicken nuggets that Omar hyped us up about.” Louis snickered, before a wistful smile crossed his face. “Scratch what I said about burgers. I’m craving those chicken nuggets now.”

“Just…more food in general, would be nice.” Aasim agreed. His face fell. “Hunting isn’t going so well, at the minute.”

Clem patted his shoulder. “It’ll pick up again.” She promised him. “Just you wait.”

* * *

Steph fussed over her little sister from her wheelchair, zipping up her little bomber jacket and tucking a strand of copper-brown hair behind her ear. “Are you excited to go fishing, Emmie?”

“Yeah!” Emily beamed. “Pretty fishies!”

“That’s right.” Steph said warmly. “Pretty fishies.”

Emily’s eyes caught something over Steph’s shoulder, and she tugged at the older girl’s sleeve. “Look! AJ and Vi-let!” 

Steph looked up quickly. Sure enough, AJ was sauntering over to the pair with Violet hot on his heels. Steph swore under her breath and looked at the ground. She shouldn’t have shouted at Violet like that. Violet didn’t rip the picture on purpose, and she’d managed to tape it back together, anyhow. But still…it was the only thing she had left to remind her of…

“Hey, Steph! Hi, Emily!” AJ said, grinning. Steph got to her feet, letting a strained smile cross her face. “You ready to go?”

Violet froze, a stricken look saturating her delicate features. “Um, AJ…”

“Come on,” The kid was too excited to pick up on her discomfort. “Let’s go to the fishing hut! Vi, can you push Steph’s chair?”

He grabbed Emily’s hand and lead her out through the gates, leaving only the two teenage girls behind.

Violet hesitated. “Steph…”

“Come on.” The girl’s voice was firm, but…did Violet detect some remorse in there too? “Let’s follow them.”

* * *

The shopping mall was as untouched as Steph had claimed.

“Holy shit,” Clem said quietly, looking around in amazement.

“It looks like…” Louis couldn’t find the words.

“It looks like nothing ever happened.” Aasim finished his sentence quietly. “Like there were never any walkers.”

“This is incredible,” Louis whispered, catching sight of a music shop. The doors and windows had metal shutters over them, the only shop in the general vicinity to be locked, which struck Clem as slightly strange. His eyes glittered and he veered towards it. “Hey, I bet I can find some sheet music here.”

“Focus on priorities first,” Clem told him, grabbing his elbow gently to pull him away.

Louis groaned reluctantly. “Yeah, okay.” He cast a glance at the music shop again. “I’ll be back.” He mouthed. Clem rolled her eyes, wrapping her arm around his waist and tugging him round the corner, to where there was a massive set of escalators leading to the second floor.

“C’mon, piano man.” Clem giggled. “We can focus on fun stuff later.”

Aasim inspected the building’s map. “We should split up.” He muttered thoughtfully. “Where do you want to go?”

“There’s a Bath and Body Works upstairs.” Clem pointed, her eyes skimming over the layout. “I’ll grab the hygiene products.”

“I’ll get the food. There’s a grocery store there, look.” Aasim offered. “There should be some preserves.”

“Then, I’ll get the clean clothes.” Louis nodded. “What would I be looking for?”

“Um…” Clem scratched her head, thinking. “Anything that looks sturdy and comfortable. No thin fabrics – we want it to last.”

“You got it.”

Aasim glanced at his cracked watch. “Should we meet back up here in an hour? That gives us plenty of time to grab as much shit as we can.”

“Sounds good to me.” Clem agreed. “I think then we can all figure out where to go next – somewhere like a dollar store, where we can get general necessities.”

“Sweet.” Louis nodded.

“Then…see you two in an hour,” Aasim said briskly, turning on his heel and left them, heading off in the direction of the grocery store.

Clem watched him go before turning back to Louis with a frown. “You sure you’re gonna be okay on your own?”

“Sure I shouldn’t be asking you that?” His eyes flicked down to her peg-leg. “Clem, I’ll be fine.”

“Okay…” She took a deep breath. But it did nothing to settle the uneasiness in her gut.

“Hey,” Louis placed a hand on her cheek, making her look at him. “What’s up?”

“Just…a bad feeling,” Clem admitted. “But it’s probably because we’re so far away from the school, and I’m not used to it.”

“I know what you mean.” Louis nodded. “But we’re gonna be fine.”

Clem nodded, leaning her face into his hand which still rested on her cheek. She closed her eyes for a brief second before opening them, looking up at him and taking in his angular features. The millions of freckles on his warm brown skin, his fuzzy, out-of-control dreadlocks that seemed to have a mind of their own as they poked up off of his head in every direction, his gentle mocha eyes, everything that she loved about him. Her eyes traced over every facet of his face.

“Hey.” He swiped his thumb over her soft lips, his impossibly deep gaze turning her knees to jelly and sending her stomach fluttering. “I love you.”

A smile tinged her face and she tore her eyes away from his. She had to focus on the job at hand. But goddamn, he made it difficult. “I love you, too.”

“I’ll see you in an hour.” He bent down to meet her lips, giving her a tender, chaste kiss.

Clem squeezed his hand before heading off upstairs, to where the Bath and Body Works store was.

They were fine. They had a plan, and there were no walkers or other people in sight. It was quiet.

So why hadn’t that funny feeling gone away?

* * *

**The walk to the river was uneventful, if a little tense.** Steph was adamant in looking everywhere but in Violet’s direction, even though the blind girl couldn’t tell. And Violet kept on trying to muster up the courage to say something, anything, to Steph, but she couldn’t manage it.

AJ and Emily hopped on ahead, the boy keeping a close clutch on her hand as though afraid she would disappear if he let go. Steph smiled slightly. They were cute. Maybe if they stayed on, if the sisters didn’t get driven away by the group who seemed hell-bent on killing them, a romance between the two kids could blossom once they grew into their teens. If Emily grew up to look anything like their mom, she would be absolutely gorgeous. And AJ already had the makings of growing up to be a handsome young man. Yeah, Steph could totally see it happening one day.

She chuckled under her breath, an action that caused Violet to look up, startled.

“Um…what’s so funny?” Violet asked uneasily.

“Those two,” Steph said quietly. “Emily and AJ. They make a cute couple.”

“Oh.” Violet nodded. “I…I’m sure they do.”

She said it simply, but really, she was just pleased that Steph was talking to her again, even if it was a little hesitant, a little on the cold side.

“I’m guessing you’re not going to be fishing?” Steph asked Violet, who shook her head. Steph nodded. “Cool. I won’t be, either. I just wanted to get out of the school grounds for a little bit. And I wanted to keep an eye on Emily.”

“That’s fair,” Violet said quietly. “It’s sweet. How much you love your little sister, I mean.”

“Yeah, she’s been through a lot. And she’s so delicate…I _have_ to protect her.” A tinge of determination entered Steph’s voice. “I’d give my life to save her, if it came to it.”

“How are you getting on with the others?” Violet asked. She didn’t say what she really meant. _How are you getting on with me?_

“I like everyone, a lot.” Steph smiled to herself. “AJ and Willy are sweet, Clem is awesome, and Louis really makes me laugh. He was the first one of you that I met, you know. I got on well with him from the start.”

“Ah…forgive me if I’m really off base here.” Violet winced. “Steph…you know that Clem and Louis are really happy together, and…”

“What?” Disbelief entered Steph’s voice. “I’m not…I don’t _like_ Louis like that, if that’s what you’re implying.”

“Right.” Violet’s cheeks flamed. “I just…I knew that you got on really well with Louis, and…you said you found someone in the group attractive, so I assumed…”

A short, breathy, incredulous laugh escaped Steph’s voice. “Violet… _Louis_ isn’t the person I meant. I’m-”

“We’re here!” AJ called back to the older two girls, cutting Steph’s statement short. He ran ahead, opening the creaky old door of the fishing hut.

Violet pushed the wheelchair into the hut with AJ guiding her, laying it to rest against one of the rough wooden walls. Steph looked around.

“Nice place.” Steph jested weakly. The joke fell flat as Violet’s head swivelled, trying to take in her surroundings but failing. “Violet?”

“Oh!” Vi swallowed, crossing her arms across her chest. “I…sorry. I am listening.”

Steph glanced out of the window, making sure Emily and AJ were safe before she turned to Violet. “Vi, come and sit down by me.”

Violet did as she was told, sitting on the creaky old couch. Her fingers raised up automatically to trace the faded initials carved into the wall, but she hesitated, dropping her hand. “I’m really sorry for ripping your photograph.” She said in a small voice.

“It’s…okay.” Steph glanced over at her. “Ruby gave me some tape. I managed to kind of fix it. And I put it in a Ziploc bag so it can’t be damaged again.”

“That’s good.” Violet nodded and drew her legs up to her chest, resting her chin on her knees.

Steph swallowed. Her lips parted, trying to put it into words. “You can… _ask_ me…” She said quietly, “…if you want. I know you’re curious.”

“Kind of.” Violet bit her lip. “What…was it? The photo, I mean.”

“It was of me, and my…” Steph’s breath caught in her throat. She exhaled sharply and tried again. “….my girlfriend. Magdalena.”

“Your… _girlfriend?”_ Violet’s eyes widened. “Magdalena…didn’t you say that was-”

“Phil’s daughter, yeah. My best friend, and my girlfriend.” Steph swallowed, her throat convulsing, as she blinked back tears. “We were together for two years, since we were fourteen, and I loved her. _So_ much.”

“Did she…” Violet hesitated, licking her lips, which had suddenly gone dry. “Is she…?”

“She’s dead, if that’s what you mean,” Steph said bluntly. “She died last year. I’m seventeen now, I think, so…”

Violet lowered her head, abashed. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Steph whispered. “It’s okay.” A tear broke away from her eye, and Steph jumped when she felt a cold, dainty hand against her cheek, wiping the wetness away with a thumb. “How did…how did you know I was crying?”

“I just had a feeling.” Vi shrugged, withdrawing her hand awkwardly. “Do you mind me asking…?”

“It’s…” Steph pressed her lips together, her chin quivering. “It’s not a pretty story.”

“I figured.” Violet’s eyebrows drew up sympathetically. “You don’t have to tell me, if you don’t want.”

“If I do…will you tell me the story of that carving on the wall?” Steph glanced up at the markings, worn smooth from years of weathering. Deep gouges, recent from the look of them, dug through them, scratching out the initials. But Steph could just about make out a letter ‘V’ and a plus sign.

“Oh.” Violet deliberated, before nodding. “Yeah, I will.”

“So…” Steph took a deep, trembling breath. “I told you guys that the Disciples are an extreme religious group. I would go so far as to say a cult. So, loads of things that were seen as normal before, were seen as sins now. Working on Sundays, premarital sex, being a girl who likes girls or a boy who likes boys…it was all seen as a sin. If you broke their rules, you were punished. Sometimes you got off light, if you tried to repent. Like, if you got pregnant out of wedlock and immediately married the father, maybe you’d get lucky with some light torture, instead of hours of intense pain.”

“Holy shit,” Violet whispered. “That…that’s getting off _light?”_

“Sick, isn’t it?” Steph agreed, shakily. “Mags and I…we knew that we’d get punished if anyone found out about us. So we hid it. Like I said, we managed to hide it for two years. But…”

“Steph.” Violet touched her arm gently. “You don’t have to…”

Steph shook her arm off, shaking her head. “They…they found us. _Together.”_ She gasped in pain, squeezing her eyes shut. Tears dripped steadily down her face. “They wouldn’t hurt me…they knew my dad would kill them if they tried. But Phil didn’t…Phil didn’t care. He thought that it was a sin. And sinners needed to be _punished.”_ She swallowed, her voice quivering. “Through _any means possible.”_

Violet’s mouth dropped open. “Oh, god, Steph.” Her voice was hoarse. “They…they didn’t…?”

“They made me watch as they… _cured_ her.” Steph buried her face in her hands. “Roger, and Peter, and Vernon, and all of the others…they made me _watch._ She was _screaming,_ and I…I couldn’t help her.”

Violet reached out blindly. She felt a shoulder, soft strands of hair, a wet cheek. Her thumb swiped against the tears on Steph’s face, wiping them away. “I’m so sorry.” She whispered. “Did…Magdalena, how did she…?”

“She couldn’t take it. The things they did to her…” Steph let out a shuddering breath. “She…ended it. Maggie, she…” She clutched her arm, fingernails digging into the flesh. “They nailed her up as an example. Suicide was a sin to them, too.”

“ _Nailed her up?”_ Violet’s mouth fell open.

“Oh, I forgot to mention.” Steph laughed harshly, humourlessly. “If you really sinned, you’d be executed, and nailed up on literal crosses. They’d let you turn into…a monster, while you hung there. You know, for poetic justice. Nailed on a cross like Jesus, left to rebirth like Jesus. Only…you’d come back wrong.”

 _“Holy fuck!”_ Violet drew back, disgusted. “That…that’s more than sick. More than _evil._ That’s…monstrous.”

“It’s how I found my mom and dad.” Steph wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. “I…after Mags died, last year, we stayed. Daddy saw what happened to her and he was scared it would happen to me, too, if he left. But they knew that we were planning on leaving. They kidnapped Emmie…those scars, they were to brand her. They kept her in a dark room for six months, cutting her with knives. It’s why she’s so… _behind,_ and quiet.”

A peal of laughter sounded from outside. Steph looked out the window to look at the girl in question.

“She’s only just recovering.”

“That poor little girl.” Violet swallowed back bile. “But you ended up escaping?”

“Yeah. I…I don’t know how he did it, but one night my dad came running into the house with Emmie in his arms, telling us we had to go. So, we did. We’d been away from the Disciples for a week when Louis and AJ found us.”

“Oh my god.” Violet shook her head, amazed. “Only a week?”

“Yeah.” Steph sighed. “But they found us again. Locked us up. Hurt Emmie more…by the time we escaped, my mom and dad were already dead and they’d…turned. I remember just…staring up at those crosses, and the rotting bodies, and thinking…that’s not my parents. They’re monsters. I guess…they must have shot me while I was running, carrying Emmie. That’s why my leg is so fucked up. But I managed to hide from them overnight, and I came back in this general direction because I knew Louis and Clem would help us. I’m just glad they stumbled upon us when they did.”

Violet hesitantly wrapped an arm around the other girl’s shoulders. “I’m so sorry.”

Steph sniffled, leaning her head on Violet’s shoulder. “I…thank you. For listening. It helped.”

“My story sounds so…pathetic, after yours.”

“No,” Steph insisted, her eyes flicking up to trace Violet’s face. “Tell me. I…I’d like to hear about your girlfriend. What was she like? What was her name?”

“Minnie.” Violet whispered. “Her name was Minnie.”

So Violet told her everything. About Marlon and Brody, how they’d lied. About the Delta. About the person Minnie used to be, and the monster she became.

The girls had been swapping stories for three and a half hours when AJ came barrelling into the room.

“We got plenty of fish!” He announced. “I think we should head back, now.”

“You got it.” Violet got to her feet and felt for the handles of Steph’s wheelchair. “Let’s go home.”

* * *

Clem glanced at her mostly-full rucksack, relief flooding her veins. She’d picked up enough shampoo and body wash to last the group at least a couple of months. She glanced out the doorway of the store, out into the mall’s atrium. Aasim was standing in their agreed meeting area, crossing his arms impatiently. Clem hesitated, looking back into the dusty room of hygiene products. She had room to grab more, but…no, best not let him wait any longer.

She hoisted the bag onto her shoulder, clambering down the halted escalator, and joined Aasim. “What’d you get?” She called out to him, her words echoing in the empty atrium.

Aasim glanced up at her, pleased. “Plenty.” He zipped open his bag and allowed her to peek in at the numerous cans and jars within. Clem whistled under her breath.

“Nicely done.” She said approvingly. “That’ll keep us going for weeks, maybe even months, until all of the wildlife comes out of hibernation and we can hunt again.”

“That’s what I was thinking. I got the flour and cooking oil that Omar asked for, and some medicine, too.” Aasim showed her. “Ruby was complaining about stocks.”

“Good.” Clem nodded. “I got plenty of stuff, too. I guess we’re just waiting for Louis, now.”

Aasim rolled his eyes. “I knew he’d be late. That guy would be late to his own funeral.”

Clem sighed, glancing at her hands. “I wouldn’t have thought he’d be too long.”

“Let’s hope you’re right.”

They waited for him for another ten minutes. The uneasy feeling was quickly returning, worry rising in Clem’s throat like bile as she wondered where her boyfriend had gotten to.

“Should we go and look for him?” Clem wondered under her breath. “I mean, he’s really late, now…”

Aasim shrugged, but there was concern etched into his face. “Maybe we should-”

He was cut off by a yell.

Clem’s eyes widened and she grabbed Aasim’s wrist, pulling him in the direction of the cry. It sounded like it came from the music shop. “Louis!”

“Fuck.” Aasim cursed, running along side her. “Fucking idiot, what has he done now?”

But his insults were born of panic, panic that shot through his voice and made him sound frantic.

They turned the corner.

The music store was open, the metal shutters withdrawn. The atrium of the mall was now flooded with walkers, at least ten of them. Numerous bodies littered the floor.

And at the centre of the throng of walkers…

“Fucking – _get off of me!”_ Louis wrenched his sleeve from a walkers grip, shoving the dead man against the window. In his other hand he wielded a bent metal pipe, which must have come from somewhere in the store. That explained the bashed-in skulls of the dead walkers on the floor.

“Louis!” Clem cried, pulling out her gun and aiming it at the walkers. But there were so many for him to fight off…

One by one, she and Aasim picked off the walkers around him, shooting with point-blank accuracy, until there was only one left. Louis’s eyes met Clem’s, relief saturating his face.

It only took that one moment for his attention to be compromised. In that moment, the walker lunged.

Louis yelled as the walker closed its teeth around his wrist.

“No!” Clem howled, her eyes blurring with tears. She aimed for the walker, shooting a bullet straight through its head. It collapsed to the ground.

“Shit.” Aasim ran over to Louis, grabbing his shoulder. “Did it…did it…?”

Louis slowly, hesitantly, rolled up the sleeve of his thick tan coat, bringing his wrist close to his eyes so he could pick up even the hint of a bite.

“Thank God these sleeves are so thick.” He quipped, but his face was ashen and there was a quiver in his voice, betraying his true terror. “It didn’t get through. Not even a scratch.”

“What happened, Louis?” Aasim asked shakily.

“Fucking store was filled with walkers.” Louis cursed. “I found this.” He held out a scrawled note, which Aasim took from him.

 _“Dear reader,”_ Aasim read aloud. _“If you are reading this letter, we are dead. We locked ourselves in this music store when we got bitten because we didn’t want to deny any other survivors access to any essentials. Please, help yourselves to the stocks from the other stores. They are of no use to us anymore.”_

Clem fell silent. Then rage flooded her body and she turned to Louis, shoving him harshly.

Louis’s eyes filled with hurt and he flinched back. “Clem…?”

“I told you to fucking _wait!”_ She snapped. “If you could have come back to meet us like we _agreed,_ we could have taken on the walkers together! You nearly got bitten, Louis!”

“Clem, I’m…” Louis began, reaching out to her, but she turned on her heel and stormed off towards the exit.

“Let’s just fucking go.” She muttered darkly under her breath.

The boys had no choice but to follow after her, an anxious glance shared between them. Louis in particular had a guilty feeling settled in his gut. He hadn’t meant to upset her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tl;dr: steph was in a relationship with phil's daughter, mags. you should remember mentions of phil and mags in the chapter where steph tells everyone about the disciples. of course, as the disciples are pretty much a religious cult, homosexuality is a sin to them, so steph and mags kept it secret. but they got found out, and in an attempt to 'cure' them, members of the disciples raped mags and forced steph to watch - they were under strict orders not to harm steph herself as her father wouldn't approve and also didn't agree with their beliefs, but phil didn't care that they hurt mags as he saw the girls as sinners.
> 
> henry found out and attempted to leave, but to stop him from doing so, phil held emily hostage and gave her scars all down her left side as a 'brand' and an incentive to get henry to stay, threatening to kill her if they left. but they managed to escape, and were on the run from the disciples ever since. that's when clem and louis met them for the first time. however, they got caught again, and henry and martina were killed and emily was tortured again. steph and emily managed to escape again, but steph got shot in the leg while they were running. that leads us up to when louis and clem ran into them again.
> 
> that should cover the backstory that i went over in this chapter. i hope this helped for anyone who didn't want to read about it in detail.


	17. forgiveness, can you imagine?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis feels guilty for almost letting himself get killed.

“Clem,” Aasim reached out to touch her arm as they were walking down the desolate streets. “Look.”

He pointed, and Clem’s eyes followed the direction of his finger. She frowned. “A car dealership?”

“Hey, maybe there’s some salvageable cars and fuel!” Louis interjected. Clem’s face twitched involuntarily at his words and she cast a glare in his direction. She was still pissed off that he almost got bit.

“We’ll have a look.” She said curtly, turning on her heel sharply and veering in the direction of the dealership. It would be handy, she supposed, if they could find a working car. It would get her off of her prosthetic foot and mean they could travel much quicker.

“Damn.” Louis murmured under his breath to Aasim, his shoulders slumping sadly. “She’s really mad at me, huh?”

“I guess.” Aasim sighed. “I can’t blame her, really. But…she’ll get over it, eventually.”

“You think?”

“I mean, she can’t stay mad at you forever, right?” Aasim shrugged.

“Look for anything suitable for off-road,” Clem instructed briskly as they walked through the cracked glass doors. “Any kind of SUV, or four-by-four. Like a Jeep, or a Range Rover.”

Aasim shook his head, confused. “We don’t exactly know car models, Clem…”

“I know.” Clem sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Just…look, _I’ll_ find a car, you two take any fuel you can. Look for any metal storage tanks, or siphon it yourself, whatever.”

She left the two where they stood and began to dart between the cars, inspecting the makes and branding of each vehicle. She groaned with frustration as she found suburban car after suburban car, nothing suitable for the dirt paths and rough forest grounds surrounding the school. She glanced over at the boys, searching around the room for fuel. Aasim looked his usual unfazed self, but Louis’s face was troubled, guilty, his fingers rubbing his wrist where the walker had been so close to taking a chunk from his skin. Clem shook her head with a sigh, tearing her eyes from him.

That moment, when the walker had its teeth around his sleeve and Clem thought he’d been bitten…before Aasim had run over and checked that he was okay…

In that moment, Clem had honestly considered turning her gun on him, and then on herself. Ending it all. Because there was no way in hell that she was going to live without him.

The only thing that stopped her was the thought of AJ at home, if Aasim had come home without both of them. She didn’t think her little boy would be able to handle it, and the thought of both AJ and Louis dying was something she couldn’t stand.

It scared her that her mental state…her _will to live_ , even, was tied to the survival of two people. It terrified her that she was so dependent on Louis and AJ, now that she had them in her lives, that she couldn’t live without them. She’d never expected to love anyone like that, so whole-heartedly that she’d rather die than not have them in her life.

Rationally, she knew that if Louis had been bitten, they’d be able to take the arm off, no problem, and he’d have survived, and she wouldn’t have to say goodbye to him – she was _sick_ of goodbyes. But in that moment, she nearly forgot that was an option, regressing back to her eight-year-old self, staring at Lee’s stump, his pale skin, and his yellow eyes, believing that it well and truly was a death sentence.

“Found anything?” Aasim’s voice echoed through the empty room, and she sighed.

“No, not yet.” She called back shortly, snapping out of it. “Nothing durable enough, at least. I’ll keep looking.”

It was half an hour later that Clem let out a triumphant shout, trailing her fingers down the hood of a black Jeep. It wasn’t quite in mint condition, the armoured metal of the body covered in dust and flecks of rust from years of being stationary, but it didn’t seem as though anyone had disturbed it in the last eight years. She pulled a screwdriver from her rucksack, prying open the car door and sliding inside on the driver’s side, inhaling the scent of leather emanating from the soft seats. She hoped it worked. She jammed her screwdriver into the keyhole of the car, wriggling it impatiently, and clapped excitedly when the engine purred to life. It hadn’t needed hotwiring.

“Yes!” She hissed, cautiously pressing down on the gas pedal. It was going to be difficult to navigate driving again, being unable to feel the pressure of her prosthetic foot on the pedals, but she should have been able to make her way back to the school, at least. Thank God she didn’t need to adhere to traffic laws. It would definitely come in handy to have a car.

An excited face appeared outside the passenger side window. “Holy shit, you found one!” Aasim opened the door, gesturing to the metal fuel tanks lying at his feet. “We found some extra fuel. Louis and I brought them over here.”

“Nice.” Clem nodded. “Put them in the trunk, and hop in.”

Aasim did as he was told, placing the heavy tanks in the trunk, and a couple in the back seat, before making to get in the back.

“Get in the front,” Clem told him. “I…I don’t want to sit next to Louis right now. Where even is he?”

“There was a magazine rack over there,” Aasim explained, sliding into the seat beside her. “He’s picking up some comics for Willy and AJ. Don’t worry, he’s still in sight. I can see him.”

“Oh.” Clem felt guilty, as she’d forgotten to get comics entirely. She had meant to, but after Louis nearly got bit…it had completely slipped her mind.

The back door cracked open, and Louis slid into the backseat, his hands full of dusty superhero comics. “Okay, I’m ready. I grabbed whatever I could.”

Clem fell silent, catching sight of him through the rearview mirror, anger filling the pit of her stomach again. But the anger had abated slightly since the last time she’d seen him.

She’d forgive him soon. Just not right now.

* * *

Willy frowned, digging his pen-knife into the divots in the floor of the watchtower. He wondered when Aasim, Louis, and Clem would get back. He’d never seen Ruby this antsy, worry etched into every inch of her round face as she wondered where her boyfriend was, if he was safe and sound or if he had been bitten and turned, hours away from home. None of the Ericson kids had ever gone that far outside of the safe zone, not in eight years. They’d never even managed to leave the forest, let alone find any supplies outside the boundaries.

But they’d been gone overnight, so they must have found something.

Or maybe Steph had led them into a trap, and they were dead.

He glanced down into the courtyard, peering at the girl in question. She was sat on the couch by the firepit, cane at her feet, talking animatedly to Violet, who was nodding along to her story, a shy smile playing on her lips. Willy frowned. Violet had trusted Steph even less than he had, and they’d had an argument the day before. Now they seemed to be the best of friends. What had changed between the girls on that fishing trip earlier?

An unfamiliar, blaring noise jolted him out of his thoughts, and he looked outside the gates suspiciously only to spot a rusted old car waiting patiently. Terror flooded his body. Was it the Disciples? Had they come back already?

Then a familiar curly head of hair popped out of the window.

“Let us in, Willy,” Clem called up to him. He clambered down and did as she told, unlocking the gates and allowing the large car to carefully creep through the gates, slow enough for Willy to walk next to it with a barrage of questions spilling from his lips.

“Whoa! Where did you find a car? How did you get it back? Did you grab everything that we needed from the mall?”

The car screeched to a slow stop, and Clem clambered out of the front seat. She looked…upset. “Willy, leave me alone.” She said tiredly. But she realised she must have sounded harsh, because her face softened slightly and she touched his shoulder. “I need a second, okay?”

Willy made to respond, but Clem took off before he could, making her way up the front steps and disappearing inside. Louis and Aasim exited the car, the former having an unhappy expression on his face.

“Well, that journey wasn’t awkward at all,” Aasim muttered sarcastically. Louis winced.

“What happened?” Willy asked, gripping onto Aasim’s arm. “Why is Clem upset?”

“I…almost got bit,” Louis admitted, crossing his arms. “Clem got worried, and she’s angry at me because I was being an idiot.”

Willy’s eyes widened. “You-”

“You almost got _bit?”_

Louis turned to the source of the voice, his shoulders slumping. “Vi…”

“Are you okay?” Violet’s voice was shot through with worry, her hands roaming over his arms as though checking for bites that he may have missed. “What happened?”

“I’m fine, not a scratch,” Louis said quickly, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and squeezing her in a quick hug. “I…kind of didn’t think about the possibility of walkers showing up in an empty store.”

“Louis…” Violet huffed, reaching up and blindly trailing her fingers over his cheek. “You’re an idiot.”

“You don’t need to tell me twice.” He sighed. “What do I do?”

Violet pulled away. “I’ll talk to her.”

“Thank you.” He squeezed her hand. “Thank you.”

Violet came downstairs half an hour later, shaking her head. “Give her a little while to mull over it, Lou. She doesn’t mean it, but she just…needs a minute.”

“Yeah.” Louis nodded abashedly, glancing at his feet. He exhaled before turning to Willy. “Hey, why don’t you and I go through those comics I got for you?”

Willy’s eyes lit up. “Yeah! Let me get AJ, and we’ll read them together!”

* * *

“Clem?” An hour later, Louis meekly knocked on the door of their shared room, pausing in the doorway. “Can I come in?”

No response.

“I know that you’re mad at me. I…want to make things right.”

He took a deep breath, resting his forehead on the door.

“I understand that you don’t want to talk to me. I know I really hurt you, out there. I just wanted to apologise.”

He heard a rustle, and a small, sad voice. “Come in.”

He opened the door quietly, peeking into the room. His girlfriend lay face-down on the bed, her face buried into his pillow. Her shoulders were trembling, and Louis could hear a faint hiccupping, as though she was sobbing. His heart shattered into a million pieces as he watched her, too nervous to say anything.

Clem broke the silence, lifting her head just slightly so her words weren’t muffled by his pillow. She couldn’t meet his eyes. “What do you _want,_ Louis?”

“I’m sorry.” He said softly, sitting on the end of the bed and reaching out to take her hand. “I’m so fucking sorry.”

She wrenched her hand from his grip. “You almost died. I thought I lost you. I thought that walker had fucking _bitten_ you.”

“I know.” He whispered hoarsely. “I’m so sorry.”

“All over a fucking music shop. I _told_ you to wait for us.”

“I should have listened.” Louis hesitated, biting his lip. “Look, I…I was stupid, and I was reckless. I could have easily gotten myself killed. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I put you through that. I understand if you can’t forgive me. I just…I wanted to tell you that I love you, and that I’m sorry. You don’t have to say it back, if you’re still angry at me.”

He waited for a beat, and when she didn’t respond, he stood up and stepped away to leave the room. Before he could leave, though, he heard a sniffle.

“Idiot.”

“I…what?” He spun back around to look at her.

“I said…idiot.” She turned to face him, knuckling the tears out of her honey-gold eyes. Her cheeks and eyes were red and splotchy, her hair tangled and frizzy, but with the love shining from every facet of her face, she had never looked more beautiful. “I was _so_ fucking scared.”

His breath left him in a relieved whoosh. “Clem…”

She sighed shakingly, opening her arms to him. Her eyes practically begged him for an embrace, and he obliged, closing the gap between them in three strides before sitting on the bed beside her and wrapping his arms tightly around her. He buried his nose into her hair, and she dug her face into his shoulder.

“I’m sorry for how I acted.” She mumbled; her voice muffled by his long coat. “I was out of line.”

“No, you weren’t. If it were you, I’d have been upset too.” He soothed. “Am I…forgiven?” He asked hesitantly, kissing her forehead.

“Yeah.” Clem rubbed her cheek – her damp, tear-stained cheek – against his. “Yeah, you’re forgiven. I couldn’t live with myself if you died tomorrow, and this was how I left things. I know it’s a pessimistic way of thinking, but…after today, I…”

“I know.” He hushed her, stroking a hand through her hair. “Don’t worry about it, okay?”

“I’ve buried _so_ many people I loved.” Clem murmured, “I don’t want to have to bury you, too. It would _kill_ me.”

Louis nodded silently, pulling her closer against his chest. “I won’t do it again.” He promised her. “I was scared, too. I thought I was going to pull up my sleeve, and find…well, you know. I thought I was going to die.”

“I won’t let that happen.” Clem pulled back, a glint in her fiery tawny eyes. “I will never let that happen to you, Louis. I swear on my life.”


	18. look at the stars, look how they shine for you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clem wakes up and Louis isn't there, only a note in his place. So she heads off to find him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: mild smut? well, pre-smut, i guess. no sexy times happen but it gets close.
> 
> i was dealing with mega writers block on this chapter...i started it on september 16th - last wednesday. yikes. at the time of updating, it's tuesday the 22nd. 
> 
> side note...how do y'all feel about a time-skip, or multiple smaller time-skips? because I have pretty big plans for the story but they all take place, like...a year later than these past chapters, and i wanted to hopefully get a start on them by chapter 30-35. can't believe we're almost at chapter 20!

**one week later**

* * *

When she awoke, Clem was cold. It took her a moment to figure out why.

She was cold without the comforting weight of an arm slung around her hips and a lean chest pressed against her back.

“Louis…?” She mumbled sleepily. Her fingers probed over the blanket, seeking her boyfriend’s warmth, but finding nothing save a dent in the mattress where he usually lay. She heaved a sigh and sat up, rubbing her bare arms with her hands. It was starting to get colder the later they got into the year. Clem swung her legs out of bed, reaching for her prosthetic. She buckled it onto her knee and gave it a good tug to make sure it was secure. “Lou?”

Clem’s fingers blindly fumbled over the dresser, searching for a match, a flashlight, something to give her light, and she jolted as a piece of paper fluttered against her fingertips.

“Oh!” She grasped it firmly in her fingers, raising it to the window and allowing the moonlight to illuminate the lettering. She strained to see what the childish, looped letters said, nearly illegible in the soft silver light.

_Clem,  
If you wake up and I’m not there, don’t worry. I’m on lookout duty. I’ll be back in the morning. Don’t wait up for me.  
I love you. Sleep well, darling.  
Louis_

There was a small doodle in the corner, a heart that enclosed a hasty _‘C + L’._ A small smile touched Clem’s lips as she traced the scribbled words. He really was romantic.

She placed the note back down, glancing at the door and hesitating. It said not to wait up for him, but…she wouldn’t be able to sleep without him. She knew that much, by now. No, she wanted to be with him.

The hallway was quiet, and every tap of her prosthetic on the wooden floor echoed off of the walls and rang in her ears.

* * *

Louis was exactly where he said he’d be, stationed at the top of the watchtower. Clem carefully scaled the ladder, sighing sharply as her leg knocked against the old stone wall and made an echoing thud. But Louis seemed none the wiser as she crawled to the top.

He jumped and let out a quiet noise of shock as she snaked her arms around his neck from behind, but the sound quickly dissolved into a tender laugh as he realised who it was.

“I thought we agreed, no more sudden disappearances.” Clem teased. He shuddered at her warm breath on the back of his neck.

“In my defence, I left a note.” He turned his head to press his lips to hers, greeting her with a kiss. “And that note said not to wait up for me.”

“I can’t sleep without you.” Clem insisted, sitting next to him. His hand settled on her thigh, massaging her skin comfortingly. “I just don’t like being without you, in general. It makes me…uneasy.”

“I know the feeling,” Louis admitted. “Seems that every time we get separated, something bad happens.” He slid his hand down her thigh and onto the polished wooden prosthetic, tapping his fingers on it meaningfully. His other arm jerked slightly, as though fighting off a shiver or shaking off a bug, but Clem knew it was reflex from almost getting bitten on that wrist the week before.

“I guess we only have one option, then,” Clem said seriously.

“And what’s that, darling?”

“Never get separated again.” Clem shrugged. “I’ll just never let you out of my sight.”

“Works for me.” Louis agreed, letting his cheek settle on the top of her curly hair. “That definitely works for me.”

“Easier said than done, though.” She stifled a content yawn, her eyes drifting up to glance at the star-dotted sky. “It’s really beautiful, tonight. All of the stars…”

“I…um. Yeah. It is.” Louis’s voice was faint, nervous, and his eyes were on her. The stars reflected in her amber eyes, the moonlight bouncing off of her cream skin and turning it a beautiful shade of silver.

She was radiant in the glow of the night, and she didn’t even know it.

She shivered, leaning even closer to Louis. “Fuck, it’s cold.”

“Is it? I’m not cold.” Louis said, forcing a teasing tone into his voice. “Do you just want to cuddle? Admit it, you do.”

“Well, yeah, but I’m genuinely cold.” Clem pulled a face. “It’s October.”

Louis shrugged off his heavy coat, revealing the tattered green shirt underneath. Clem let out a noise of protest as he draped it around her shivering figure, but her objections died down as she settled into the fur lining of the garment and realised how warm it was, both from his body heat as well as the general heftiness of the coat. It was comically large on her, practically drowning her small figure in layers of fabric, but it was extremely comfortable. Plus, it smelled like him. That was a bonus. She buried her nose into the fur collar and inhaled, her eyes meeting his.

 _“Clem.”_ Louis’s face was stricken, as though pained. Clem raised her eyebrows, worried, but he shook his head, wrapping an arm around her with a shaky exhale. His chin rested on the top of her head. She could hear his pulse in his throat. “Holy shit. You’re _so_ fucking cute. I can’t handle it.”

“Are you _flustered?”_ Clem couldn’t help but giggle. This side of Louis was one she only saw sometimes. When he shed the cocky, confident persona and she saw him for what he was – a nervous, faltering teenager with little to no experience with romance. Much like her, she supposed. He hid it well, but the last time she saw this side of him…well, it would have been when she first told him she liked him. Back in the music room. “Oh my god, you _are._ Louis, _you’re_ the cute one.”

“It’s not my fault. _You_ do this to me.” He complained weakly, taking her hand in his and pressing it against his chest, where his heartbeat quickened under her touch. Clem shuddered, subconsciously leaning closer. His lips touched her forehead, mouthing against her fair skin. “You drive me fucking crazy, and the worst part is, I don’t think you even realise the affect you have on me.”

“I do.” Clem breathed, her fingers shooting to his hair, tangling in his dreadlocks. “I definitely…realise it, Louis. If it’s even… _half_ as intense as the effect you have on me, I…”

“Good.” Louis ducked his head to her neck, his mouth trailing along her throat, and Clem stifled a whimper, squirming awkwardly. She wondered briefly…when had her neck become so _sensitive?_

She tugged lightly at his hair, pulling his face up to meet hers. Louis let out a noise against that was half laugh, half gasp.

 _“Clementine,”_ He murmured against her lips, and a delicious shiver rippled down her back as he said her name, her _full_ name. She wanted him to say it again. “I love you. Fuck, I _love_ you.”

His hands dipped under the coat and skimmed her waist, nervously grasping at the fabric of her tank top. Not quite daring to touch her naked skin.

Wordlessly, Clem placed her hands on his shoulders and pushed. His back softly hit the hard floor of the watchtower, and he blinked up at her, confused.

“Whoa, Clem-”

But his words were stifled as her lips followed his descent, crushing her mouth firmly to his.

Kissing Louis always reminded Clementine of chemistry lessons in school, eons ago. Where if you mixed the right two elements together, they’d explode.

An explosion. Internal, like a firework igniting at her lips and warming her from head to toe, concentrating in her brain, the pit of her stomach, her throat, her heart. Making her hands tremble and her toes curl from the sheer electricity of it. She was a lit fuse, and she needed to stay connected to him, her match, or she’d fizzle out in the breeze.

Kissing Louis was all of that, and more.

He was all teeth and tongue and lips. Every action was shot through with inexperience, but there was also _so much_ longing and love and lust and everything right in the world.

She wanted to kiss him until her lips were bruised and blue. So she did, shifting her weight until she was straddling him, her trembling thighs pressed tightly against his hips. She was light, years of hunger and exercise contributing to her lithe figure, but even her minimal weight on Louis’s chest and stomach, combined with the pressure of her lips, was making him breathless. They parted to catch their breaths, but only just, so they were a mere inch apart.

Louis let out an unsteady exhale against her mouth. _“Baby.”_ He murmured tenderly, his voice low with longing. He brought one hand up to her hair, wrapping a curl tightly around his finger. His lips trailed down her neck once more. His kisses were punctuated with light nips, not hard enough to leave a mark – no, he knew that they’d get a _lot_ of shit from the other kids if he left any marks – but hard enough to make her shudder and gasp.

They’d made out before. Hands roaming, teeth clashing, breaths mingling. But they’d never… _fooled around._ Not to this degree.

 _“Louis.”_ Clem whispered as his mouth pressed against her collarbone. Her brain was turning to mush, coherent sentences falling apart in her mind. Louis’s coat fell from her narrow shoulders, forgotten, revealing her skin. The cold air brushed her arms, causing her to shudder. “I…I…”

“Hm?” He hummed, squeezing her waist. “What is it?”

Clem shook her head with a low whine and grasped his chin, tilting it up and bringing his lips back up to meet hers. He met the kiss eagerly, almost desperately.

She laced her fingers with his, dragging his hand under her tank top. His warm fingers brushed against her bare stomach and she moaned into his mouth.

His breath caught and he pulled away. A disappointed groan left Clem’s lips.

_“Louis.”_

“Clem, it’s freezing. And I’m meant to be on watch.” He chuckled. “I’m not going to have sex with you. Not out here, not right now.”

“Thought you said you _weren’t_ cold.” Clem bantered casually, but internally she was a bundle of nerves. She wanted…she didn’t know _what_ she wanted. Him. Everything about him.

“I’m not. I’m worrying about you, dummy.” He rubbed a hand up her bare thigh, pointedly glancing at the goosebumps dotting her pale skin.

“If you’re so worried…why don’t you warm me up, then?” Clem asked him, looking up at him through her thick fringe of eyelashes. But it was hard to be seductive when her lips were that numb, from both the kissing and the blustering October air. And she was tired, and she was tripping over her words…

“Nope.” He kissed her cheek, grinning to himself. “Like I said, I’m also supposed to be on watch. We’re in danger, babe. Disciples, remember?”

Clem fell silent, heat pooling in her cheeks. He was joking, but…she knew his natural state was joking. Even when he was uncomfortable. Had she pushed it too far? Had she pushed _him_ too far?

She sat up, shifting awkwardly off of him. She cleared her throat. “Is this…am I…crazy?”

“In general? I think lots of things about you are crazy.” Louis shrugged, and his lips quirked up in a lopsided smile that sent her heart fluttering helplessly. “You’re going to have to be more specific. Is _what_ crazy?”

Clem bit her lip. “I _want_ you.”

“Clem,” His eyebrows pulled up in the middle, adoring exasperation written in his eyes. He sat up so they were nose-to-nose. “Baby, no. What could possibly be crazy about that?”

She felt stupid under his gaze as she said her next words. “You pulled away.”

“Oh, Clem.” His face fell and he snaked one of his hands into his hair, tugging at his dreadlocks in distress. “Clem, I didn’t…not because I didn’t _want_ …” He swallowed, placing a hand against her cheek. “Did I make you think…that I didn’t _want_ you? You know how much I do, I…”

“I know.” Clem said quickly, pulling her face away and pursing her lips. “I’m being dumb.”

“You’re not.” His eyes were soft, and he scratched the back of his neck bashfully. “Emotions and, um, hormones, running high. Clouds your judgement, I guess. I just didn’t want you to do something you’re going to regret.”

“I won’t regret it.” Clem assured him. “I’m…ready.”

“Me too.” Louis nodded thoughtfully. “But…not out here. I want to plan things.”

Clem cocked her head, confused.

“I mean…I want _it_ – our first time – to be…special.” He couldn’t meet her gaze, a pink blush rising to his almond-brown cheeks. “Somewhere comfortable, and…um, romantic. I mean, you can’t deny that it’s not exactly cosy up here.”

Clem was suddenly acutely aware of their surroundings. Of the dark forest in front of them, and the looming school behind them. Of the biting winter breeze. Of the sheer open-ness of the watchtower, how anyone could suddenly happen upon them.

“You’re right.” She said slowly. “So…where? _When?”_

 _Fuck,_ she realised the urgency and longing in her voice, embarrassment filling her brain. _When did I turn into such a horny teenager?_

Louis laughed.

“Hush.” He pressed his lips to hers in a fleeting kiss, pulling away before she could deepen it. “All will be revealed, my darling.”

Clem fixed him with a look, biting her bottom lip. “But…soon?”

Louis nodded. “Soon. I promise that much.”

Clem hummed in contentment, lying down next to him. All of a sudden, she realised how tired she was. Her head landed on Louis’s knee, and he grabbed his coat, draping it over her.

“You should sleep.” Louis said gently. “I’m here now, so you can.”

“Working on it.” Clem mumbled incoherently under her breath. “Louis…love you.”

“I love you too.” He whispered, and she felt the light touch of a kiss against her forehead. “Sleep well, sunshine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this girl is fuckin READY TO GO.
> 
> so, updates have been slowing down recently, i know, and i'm sorry about that. but i recently got a job, and i also started university on monday 21st september. so, updates may slow down even more. i've been trying to balance work with updating this story as well as finding time to have fun for myself and also write an ORIGINAL story, which is something ive been trying to do for years and i'm finally on a roll.
> 
> i'll try and get out AT LEAST a chapter a week, but i can't make any promises, yet. i hope y'all understand, and thank you for being such faithful and wonderful readers! i wouldn't have had the energy or motivation to continue writing this story without your lovely feedback every chapter.


	19. i wanna ruin our friendship, we should be lovers instead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Violet and Clem discuss Steph - more specifically, how Violet feels about the new girl. Little do they know, Steph and Louis are having the exact same conversation, just on the flipside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shorter chapter today

“What does Steph look like?”

The question caught Clem off guard, and she looked down at her best friend with a quizzical frown. The two were having a girl’s day, hanging out in Violet and Ruby’s room alone. It had been a while since they’d been able to have one-on-one time.

They were lying on the bottom bunk, Clem stretched down the length of the bed while Violet lay perpendicular to her, legs hanging off of the side of the bed while her head rested on Clem’s stomach.

“What does she look like?” Clem repeated.

“Yeah.” Violet awkwardly scratched her arm, turning her red face away from Clem’s gaze, which she could feel boring into her. “I…I can remember what you look like, kind of. And I know what everyone else looked like. But I didn’t know Steph when I could see. Um, or Emily. So…I guess I wanted to know what she looks like.”

“Why don’t you ask her herself?”

“It’s weird.” Violet pulled a face. “I can’t just go up to her and ask her what she _looks_ like. She’ll think I’m crazy.”

“You _are_ crazy.” Clem said fondly, patting Vi’s arm. “She wouldn’t mind.”

“Please, Clem?”

“Alright, alright.” Clem rolled her eyes and sat up, shifting Violet’s head to her lap. “Steph is…she’s pretty. Very pretty, sort of, um, dainty. She has really bright blue eyes, like…sky blue.”

Violet closed her eyes, trying to picture it. “Blue eyes…okay. Go on.”

“She has, um, brown hair. Golden brown.” Clem faltered over her words, trying to think of a descriptor. Her face brightened. “Toffee-coloured.”

Violet frowned. “Oh.”

“What is it?”

“I guess…not what I was imagining.” Violet said sheepishly, her cheeks pinkening. Her voice grew quieter and quieter with every word that came out of her mouth. “I was imagining…red hair.”

“Red?” Clem furrowed her brow. “Like Ruby?”

“A little. Maybe…a bit lighter than Ruby’s.” Violet cleared her throat awkwardly. “Like…”

“Oh.” Clem’s eyes widened. “Like…Minnie?”

“Yeah. God.” Violet covered her face. “Ugh, that’s so dumb of me.”

“You’re comparing Steph to Minnie.” Clem pressed a hand to her mouth, fighting back giggles. “Holy shit, you _like_ Steph!”

“No!” Violet protested, but it was too quick of a denial. Panicked. “I just…she’s my friend.”

“You’re _my_ friend, but I don’t compare you to my exes.” Clem poked Violet’s cheek, grinning. “Not that I really have any, but…”

“Shut up.” Violet rolled over with a groan, covering her face. “It’s hopeless anyway, Clem. She’s not over her girlfriend. The one who died. Magdelena.”

Clem sighed, her voice taking on a serious tone. “Neither are you, apparently. You’re not over Minnie.”

“I…I am.” Violet protested weakly. “What makes you think I’m not?”

“You pictured Steph as looking like Minnie.” Clem said quietly. “But they’re not…they’re not the _same._ Do they act the same?”

Violet swallowed. “No.” She admitted softly. “Even before the Delta, Minnie was different. She was…quiet. Sweet. I know that seems hard to believe, but she was. Steph is…”

What _was_ Steph?

She was brusque. Blunt. Loud without meaning to be, and sarcastic to a fault. But she was so…protective, and kind. Violet had noticed it, the way that Steph immediately veered towards Emily if there was even the slightest problem, the way she defaulted to placing her sister’s needs above her own.

But…looking back on it, she did the same to Violet too. Only the night before, Violet had accidentally spilled some of her stew – damned blind eyes – and immediately found her half empty bowl replaced with one that felt much heavier.

 _“Here, take it.”_ Steph had said softly, pushing her bowl over to Vi. _“I’m not too hungry anyway.”_

“Steph is…well, she’s Steph.” Violet finished lamely, but Clem hummed in agreement. “Um, that sounds stupid, I-”

“I know what you mean.” Clem assented softly. “But that proves it. You _do_ like her.”

“Clem, no. It’s too soon.” Violet shook her head. “I’ve only known her for a few weeks, I…”

“Vi, do you know who you’re talking to?” Clem’s voice took on a tone of amused disbelief. “I mean, hello? Louis and I didn’t really waste any time.”

“Right.” Violet cleared her throat. “Yeah. Um. How did you…know? When you first realised you liked, or, um, _loved_ Louis.”

“I…” Clem faltered, trailing off in deep thought. “I don’t know, I just…knew it in my gut. I realised that I liked having him around, and that I couldn’t be without him.”

“Sap.” Violet snickered.

“Shut up.” Clem protested, embarrassed. “I mean it. There was never a lightbulb moment, you know? I didn’t just randomly realise that I loved him. I just, kind of, always knew that there was something there. You know, we started dating and we were taking it kind of slow. And then, well, I almost died, and…it put everything into perspective. I couldn’t risk either of us dying without knowing how we felt about each other.”

“That’s sweet.” Violet said absently. “You two – I’ve never really told you, but you’re a good couple. You balance each other out.”

“Yeah?” A sentimental smile touched Clem’s mouth. “I think we do too.”

“I don’t want to ruin things. With Steph.” Violet sat up, lifting her head from Clem’s lap and leaning against her shoulder. “Breakups tend to destroy group dynamics.”

“You won’t know until you try.” Clem nudged Violet gently. “At least if you shoot your shot, you’ll know for certain, right?”

“When did you become the love guru?” Violet raised her eyebrows.

“Hey, who out of the pair of us is in a stable relationship?” Clem teased softly. “In my defence, Ruby would tell you the same. Vi, I’m saying this because I’m your friend and I love you. You should go for it.”

Violet shook her head. “I’ll try, I just…like being friends with her. I don’t want to ruin it.”

“Nobody does.” Clem shrugged. “But wouldn’t it be worth it in the end if something came from it?”

“I guess.” Violet didn’t sound convinced. “I just think there’s-”

* * *

“-no _way_ she likes me.”

“You’re just as blind as she is if you can’t see it.” Louis ribbed his friend playfully, enjoying the way Steph’s pale face turned a delightful shade of pink. “Violet _really_ likes you.”

“You’re wrong.” Steph disagreed bluntly, wincing as she placed her weight on her bad leg instead of her walking stick. Ruby was pleased with her progress and believed that if she kept exercising her leg, she might regain full use of it. Thus, Aasim and Louis had begun bringing her on their hunting excursions. The other boy had darted ahead, mumbling under his breath about traps, and leaving the other two behind. “She sees me as a friend, that’s all. And I’m quite content to keep it that way.”

“Steph, I have known Vi for nearly half of my life.” Louis ran his finger along Chairles’s splintery wooden surface, making a mental note to ask Willy for some sandpaper to make his beloved weapon more comfortable to handle. “I know when she gets crushes. Trust me, she has a crush on you.”

“I thought she liked Clem, anyway?”

“She did.” Louis said uncomfortably, uneasy at the reminder that he had fallen for the same person that his friend had. “Not anymore, though. She assured me of that.”

Steph snorted skeptically. “Sure.”

“What do you mean by…shit, hang on. Walker.” Louis held out a hand to stop her in her tracks and inclined to the shambling corpse that had emerged from the bushes, lifting Chairles over his shoulder in perfect baseball form. At least, he hoped it was perfect baseball form. It had been a while since he’d seen a game.

The corpse turned towards him, groaning lethargically as it reached out, twisted and cracked hands fumbling in the air. Louis swung.

There was a sickening _crack._

“Gross.” Steph commented nonchalantly.

Louis wrinkled his nose and kicked the walker’s prone body away from him, wincing at the stench of old blood that was pouring from the dead man’s newly opened skull. The blow from Chairles had split the walker’s head clean in two, the fragile bone structure of the skull caving easily under the pressure of the makeshift baseball bat.

“That’ll leave a mark.” Louis jested, admiring his handiwork. “I think I had pretty good form there.”

“Yeah, you’re a total Babe Ruth.” Steph rolled her eyes and caught up to her friend, shoulder-checking him playfully. “We should start up an Ericson’s baseball team.”

Louis perked up. “That’s not actually a bad idea.”

Steph chuckled. “Yeah, apart from the fact that none of us can play baseball.”

“Don’t ruin my dreams, Stephie.” Louis whined. “Anyway, we were talking about Violet and the fact that she’s totally in love with you.”

“She is not.”

“And the fact that you’re totally in love with her.”

“I am _not!”_

“Ha!” Louis shook his head, grinning. “You’re blushing.”

Steph reached up to touch her burning cheek, which only made her blush more. “You’re annoying.”

Louis laughed again, but his face quickly became more serious. “You should tell her, you know.”

“I can’t.” She looked at the floor, abashed. “Look, Lou…I can’t tell her that I like her. It’s too soon.”

Louis cocked his head, glancing at her. “Have I ever told you my life philosophy?”

“No, but I’m sure it’s _thrilling.”_ Steph commented dryly.

“Steph, look at me.” Louis stopped in his tracks, catching her elbow and causing her to turn towards him. “Tell Violet how you feel.”

“I don’t want to ruin our friendship.” Steph shook her head. “Say we end up dating and we break up somewhere along the line. We’ve just created unnecessary drama that will haunt us for the rest of our lives.”

“Bullshit. There’s only one guarantee: this moment. That's the only thing you got. It’s the only thing any of us got. Might as well enjoy it.” Louis paused, letting seriousness linger on his face before it broke into a grin. “That’s my life philosophy.”

“Alright.” Steph glanced at the floor. “Okay. Yeah, you’re right, I guess. I just don’t want to admit it.”

Louis’s smile widened. “So you’ll tell her?”

“I’ll… _try.”_

Louis nodded his approval. “Good. Great!”

“If she takes it badly, I’m murdering you in your sleep.” Steph muttered under her breath.

“You won’t have to. She feels the same, I know it.”

“I just hope you’re right.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey all. i wanted to write these chapters a little earlier - get them out in time for what i perceive to be clem's birthday, but i've been dealing with some stuff that caused a little bit of writer's block. over the past month, one of my friends died, and my boyfriend broke up with me (so...this chapter was a little hard to write). uni has also been kicking my ass. so its been a struggle. depression has been a bitch to me recently. but i'm back and i'm ready to write, i think. um, maybe. don't hold me to that. i'll try :)

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is heavily appreciated! I love getting comments, it spurs me on to write every day!


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